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-   -   What can I do to get over this guy? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=402020)

  • Aug 22, 2010, 02:51 PM
    Sillygal

    Zzzzzz I was thinking about you on Saturday and hope you spent the day celebrating you!

    You are stronger than you think, and are aware of your situation more than you think - reread your posts!

    You are right that everything happens for a reason, we often don't know the reason until later. The key is to always keep learning and growing and trying not to repeat the same mistakes.

    It sounds like you have a lot to be thankful for being out of a relationship that was not making you happy.

    I hope Saturday was a good day for you!
  • Aug 24, 2010, 11:25 AM
    zzzzzzz

    Hi Sillygal:
    It was a good day, but I did find myself staring at the clock at 2 and thinking of my ex getting married. I felt a little down, and I do feel a bit of relief as well as it is done and over with. For ten months their engagement and upcoming wedding has been hanging over my head and now it is finally done.

    I appreciate all of your support. I know I obviously need more time in my healing process. A good friend says I need to learn how to forgive him, not for him but for me, and then I can let go. But how can you forgive someone who hurt you so much and never said or acted like they were sorry? It is just so hard. But I am not responsible for his actions, only my own.
    I wish there was a magic wand to make this all disappear, lol.
  • Aug 25, 2010, 09:22 AM
    Shadowburn

    I hope you recover from it quickly and will be happy again soon. We all know how much false hope is holding us back, yet sometimes it's impossible to get rid of until life itself will sort it out.
    Your posts are so painful to read. I wish you peace and love.
  • Aug 25, 2010, 06:34 PM
    jan100

    The title of your post caught my attention and your story seems somewhat similar to an experience I went through.

    We were engaged when he cheated on me. There were a lot of signs that I overlooked (e.g. less frequent phone calls), but I always thought that it was because he was busy with his new job.

    After a devastating break up, and 9 months after he broke up with me, he is now getting married to the same girl.

    So, I know what you mean by those "weird" feelings that you have. I feel like those are feelings that you had in the past but are gone now.

    I look back and I'm glad that we broke up, because it would have been even more devastating if I found out he was cheating on me after our marriage.

    I believe there is a divine force out there (God) that is looking out for us; making sure that we are not making the wrong decisions.
  • Aug 26, 2010, 06:04 AM
    talaniman

    I have to agree with Jan, I think you are just being haunted by old feelings that you thought were buried, and when something catches your interest again, they will be forgotten just as easily as the were stirred up by the news of his wedding.

    I use to get those same feelings when an ex had moved on, and was happy without me too, but they only lasted as long as I dwelt on the past. I will be honest, I had to many other things to look forward to, to stay on the past very long, but I was a party animal back them.
  • Aug 26, 2010, 07:30 AM
    zzzzzzz

    Jan100, yes it does sound like a pretty similar situation doesn't it? But yes, you are right. I would have rather this happened before the marriage as I am sure you are as well. He is now married and is honeymooning in Aruba. I hope he forgets the sunscreen, LOL!
    Thanks Talaniman for sharing your story in relation to this. I like to hear from a mans point of view as well :)
  • Aug 26, 2010, 05:20 PM
    vanheart

    "but they only lasted as long as I dwelt on the past."

    That's the key.

    No longer any need to spend a second thinking about him or his sunscreen.

    Just you. (coming from another man, hehe)

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