I slipped up on the no contact rule tonight. I was feeling really down. He forutnately did not pick up. I feel guilty for doing it because I was doing so well. It's just such a struggle to try and push your emotions away for someone. I really don't know how married couples who were married 20 years do it when it ends. My story seems so insignificant compared to the magnitude of loss that other people are probably feeling right now.

I really appreciate this site where you can just be open and hearing other people's amazing stories has really given will power :).

Also the thing that I think triggered my sadness tonight was my best friend telling me she saw him with a bunch of girls.I told her in the future not to tell me when she sees him.

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Originally Posted by nessa46

Also the thing that I think triggered my sadness tonight was my best friend telling me she saw him with a bunch of girls.I told her in the future not to tell me when she sees him.

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That is a very good idea to keep temptation down. Something I have noticed is that sometimes it is harder on the shorter relationships to break up than the longer ones. I think it has to do with in the longer ones the couple has a chance to grow distant from each other before realizing that it ended five years before. The shorter relationships still seem full of passion just the wrong type.

Don't make yourself feel guilty about the lapse. That will only reinforce the negative feelings. Instead, tell yourself you won't do that again and start over. From this date, no more contact. Each day that passes you will get stronger. It takes time and patience with yourself.

Remember to keep yourself busy-mind and body. You can't make a phone call if your hands are covered in... say bread dough or paint or anything else that helps you keep your hands and mind busy and makes you feel good about you.