Yes, a 100%. You are just hurting yourself, and I've been saying it many times. You are inventing yourself hope, I know it is hard to let go, we've all been there. We are using our heads and past experience to tell you what is best. She needs space and you need space also, stop giving yourself hope and move on already!

Sorry to sound harsh but I hope this is a wake up call and it's that you don't hurt yourself even more.

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Originally Posted by thatcoolguy

well i figured keep up once or twice a week until that weekend then nc for a few weeks then try to converse with her normally and hope that the spark might ignite again

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NC isn't a tool to get somebody back. If you're not doing NC to get over the person, you're playing games. She may not notice, but your screwing over your own emotions.

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Originally Posted by thatcoolguy

thats how it started last time at least

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And how did that end up? Right where you are now.

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Originally Posted by thatcoolguy

then take it one step at a time eventually working up to seeing eachother christmas break for a movie or somethin and keepin that going until its time to go back n see if the time is right. i figured at home, away from college, around all of our friends and in the home enviorment and with the christmas mood and all she might start to think about all the times we had together last christmas and how we get along now.

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She had the entire relationship to think about the good times she had with you. But she ended it. Protect your dignity and take a hint, bud.

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Originally Posted by thatcoolguy

she would have had her fill of being single and she would by then know what its like and i would still be there in communication with her getting along just fine.

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Yeah. As a FRIEND. While you're hurting yourself waiting for her to change her mind. Which she won't

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Originally Posted by thatcoolguy

does that sound unreasonable?

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Very

Hope that the spark might ignite again... does that sound unreasonable?

Nope,not at all,this plan of action you got, is not only NOT REASONABLE,its manipulative,self-destructive and utterly against your own well-being.

Are you even reading what we are trying to convey to you?We want you to get out of this,heal and recover from all the pent-up hurt and pain and get on with life once again.That why we are advising you NC and NOT AS A STRATEGY TO GET HER BACK.Theres a world of difference in what we are saying here and what you are thinking.

Listen,its natural for everyone to go through a period of denial and shock after such an episode.Its even advisable that you go through all the phases of the natural grieving process,which actually facilitates the moving on process.There will be ups and downs during this process,dark times,when you lapse and falter and feel lost all over again.But these times will fade slowly day by day and you will feel stronger and stronger.

But,it all starts with YOU,Coolguy,YOU,yourself,that part of you which is hurt and bruised and beaten.Thats where the feeling of not wanting to contact,no contact or NC,whatever you call it,has to start.You need to feel in your gut,the absolute,total,intense,maddening desire to take care of that hurt,bruised,beaten part of you,to love that part of you which is hurting so badly,to emerge as a dignified,self-respecting,wonderful human being,who's been hurt and taken it in his stride to learn and evolve.

That's what NC is all about.It isn't about her,it isn't about re-igniting some (non-existing)spark,about making her miss you etc etc.Its about you ending this chapter in your life and preparing yourself to start a whole new one.

I really would forget her. I didn't read everything in this thread, but from what I did read by her wanting "no strings" and her room mate saying all she cares about it meeting guys, to me that interprets as "I want to have sex without commitment" with anyone I want.

Also wanting to "meet you later in life" means that she realizes she is young, impulsive, and immature and isn't ready for the long haul with you.

Sadly, this is what happens to most people in early teens through early twenties. Mid twenties they finally start growing up. Some never do, but most of the BS starts to go away at that point.