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-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   I Always Feel too much, and Him not enough (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=398915)

  • Sep 24, 2009, 08:39 AM
    SilentScreams

    Well I'd like to thank everyone who has taken the time to listen to me and give me advice, to a certain degree you have brought a good amount of clarity.  I have established my faults to myself and I will hopefully, slowly, learn from my mistakes.  Last night, we talked some more... but I waited for him to approach the subjects over a couple of beers.  I think we found some solid ground.I've enjoyed this place quite a bit, in every day life there are so many problems and friends, most of the time just tell you what you want to hear.  I've been told the bad here, which is fundamental in growth.  I appreciate the honesty. 
    Thank you Starry Nights, I guess I live too much in my head, I always have. I over-analyze everything. Which has its ups and definitely its downs. Thanks so much for your help and I wish you all the best as well. :)
  • Sep 24, 2009, 09:16 AM
    Justwantfair
    I can completely relate because it is the same place I have been in.

    I am emotional and affectionate, while my partner believes that he is showing me love by doing me favors, caring for me, helping with housework. He didn't understand how I valued physical affection and I didn't value how making him dinner meant I loved him more than the words or a touch.

    You haven't referred to it, but that book had a huge value of helping us appreciate the things we were overlooking about each other. While I still have a difficult time having an 'emotional' communication with my partner, I have found other ways to get him to open up emotionally.

    I hope that things work well and keep us posted. I can tell you at one point I really thought my partner was odd, not that men not being emotional is all that uncommon but I remember thinking that what I love is there isn't fighting because he doesn't get overly emotional when upset and angry and that the comparison is that there isn't extreme passion either. It's like a good/bad thing. You want the passion but love that otherwise everything is levelheaded and handled maturely. (Of course this part could be only symptomatic of my relationship, but I am OK with that too.) I will always accept who he is, because that is who I love, but it doesn't make it less frustrating when you feel your own needs are neglected.

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