OK, time to put future in hands of complete strangers again... my wife and I have been separated and have both dated other people, now my wife says she wants me back but still spends more time with ex-boyfriend than with me, I do not know for sure how much of what I hear is true, I know he says he loves her, when they are out, and she admits that they hold hands and kiss. She also never fails to point out the differences between me and him "if i could put the 2 of you together I'd have the perfect guy" tells me he does things that I don't that she wants and that I do things he dosen't. Is this something I should be putting up with? Also the things I am unsure of make this decision even more difficult because I have been told that she said the only reason she wanted me back is so the kids could have their father. That's no reason to stay together... I guess to simplify all this, when we got back together I told her that if this was going to work that she would have to tell him it was over, and even though she tells me that she told him it was over between them when they are together they still act like a couple... is there any reason I should keep trying?

To be honest,no.

Either you are together and working on the marriage,or your not.

This half way is not good enough.

You can still be a very good father to the kids outside of the marriage,happy parents make happy children,the kids will be fine,but if you continue down this road of emotional and mental torture,you won't be.

Where's the honest communication? The building of bridges and the willingness to work on this,maybe through counseling? I don't see you doing any of this-so,time to call it quits and be the best possible parents you can be.

I would be seriously offended if some man said that I would be the "perfect girl" if put together with his piece-on-the-side. Honestly? If you take her back, you are accepting the fact that she will still carry on a relationship with him, that she will always compare you with him, and that she will not be committed to making your relationship work.

Is that something you want?

Is that the example that you want to give to your children?

It definitely sounds like she wants you back in her life just for the sake of the kids and I would never recommend doing this. She says she wants you back yet still spends more time with the other guy? It's over between them yet they still act like a couple?

Actions speak louder than words in my book.

You can be a great dad without her in your life.

Sorry guy I don't share my woman with anyone.

But on your part, get the FACTS, and then make a decision.


How come after I merged your posts together, the story get rather weird?

You seem to be on some sort of emotional round about!

Get off it!

Take some time for yourself (6 months minimum) and try and get yourself back on track.

Your not jumping from one women to another,but your jumping from one romantic maybe to another,all the while tieing yourself up in knots of confusion.

Get some space away from the drama and confusion,get some perspective.

Well talaniman it is a weird situation, me and wife split up but never divorced, then I met another girl (first post) then wife says she wants me back (2nd post)

Update: wife finally made a decision, to stay with new guy, and a few weeks later he tells her its over and now she wants me back but we aren't together.

That's great, kick her to the curb, and be done with all this misery and crap. This is where guys say to hell with it, and go fishing. That's what's called for, some time away from the BS!

For those of you still interested things got better, for a few months. Then she left me for the guy who was supposed to be my best friend. I still have no contact with either of them.