Ask Me Help Desk - Girlfriend is 30 and slept with 25 guys

I think that some of the opinions expressed here are really chauvinistic. Such judgmental attitudes about a woman that has had multiple partners! Such double standards as well.

To the OP. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. (Artlady and I love that expression! ) She trusted you enough to tell you about herself. You either do her the honor of respecting that and get on with your relationship, or you acknowledge that you can't handle it and get out now.

Clearly it worries you, so I think that the answer is pretty clear.

These little jabs at each other trying to bug one another is all in all very immature whether you have been married for 12 years and have experience or if your insecure on how many men your girlfriend has slept with please stick to the OP that is why we are here.

Your girlfriend has had a difficult past life and I can now sort of see why she would have slept with so many men, and artlady put it very well, she was trying to fill a void in her life, which ended up only hurting herself. elijah679 you have to decide whether you yourself can deal with her past, she had trusted you and told you about her past, if you cannot accept it then you should move on, there is no point dragging this relationship on if you cannot accept her past.

Quote:

Originally Posted by britEl

These little jabs at each other trying to bug one another is all in all very immature whether you have been married for 12 years and have experience or if your insecure on how many men your girlfriend has slept with please stick to the OP that is why we are here.

Your girlfriend has had a difficult past life and i can now sort of see why she would have slept with so many men, and artlady put it very well, she was trying to fill a void in her life, which ended up only hurting herself. elijah679 you have to decide whether or not you yourself can deal with her past, she had trusted you and told you about her past, if you cannot accept it then you should move on, there is no point dragging this relationship on if you cannot accept her past.

I appreciate this,it just strikes a cord with me that someone would judge a woman

Knowing VERY little about her by how many partners she has had,forget the fact

That she was open,honest and communicative enough to share her past with her

Boyfriend.

My ex fiancé is 30 and slept with over 50 women. But what mattered to me was that he didn't sleep with any of them while he was with me, he didn't give me an STD, and he didn't make me feel like he was comparing.

If you genuinely care for this girl, don't let her past put you off, but DO talk to her about your feelings. Don't make her feel like you are judging her, just say you feel a bit uncomfortable with it and need some reassurance.
If she means enough to you, you shouldn't let this bother you.

I feel for your girlfriend. I am reading all the problems she had as a girl and teenager. Geez, no wonder she was turning to boys, she needed some love and attention, her mother was dying, she was trying to find someone she could turn to. Her father wasn't there and definatley not a good rollmodel for future decisions in men, so she turned to whomever would listen to her and hold her. Her mother passes and she marries the one that was with her at the time. She was a faithful wife. They are not together anymore so she is lonely again and back to where she was when she was younger. She wants love and attention as she well deserves it. Please don't think that she isn't with any of those other men because they didn't want to be with her, she probably didn't want to be with them anymore or there was mutual "this isnt going to work with us feeling", not everyone is meant for each other. It is true, if you are making her out to be someone she isn't then you don't deserve her. You are presuming what other people are thinking while you are with her. Does that mean that you are thinking oh well my girlfriend was with all these men, she must not really deserve to be with any one long term. If you can't be proud to have her by your side let her go she deserves better. She deserves someone who isn't going to judge every move she makes, or if she looks at a guy are you going to freek and say, did you sleep with him too? Please don't. Seems she has been looking and she must like something in you or she would have left you and kept looking. Don't always think the man has the last word, she has decided to stay with you. Now you need to decide if you can be a man and not worry about the drama

If you love her that's all that matters. She's with you now the rest is history. Continue to dwell on it you find yourself part of history.

Hey that is a lot of guys to rack up in such a short period. I just got out of a relationship with a 24 year old who had slept with about 35 guys. She went through a brief "bad period" after her first marriage, then slowed down.

It was really hard for me to get used to the fact that she was with so many guys. In fact I never really did, which was probably a major reason our relationship didn't work out. . It was always in the back of my head, and I wondered if I was just a number. Most girls that I have dated have slept with 10 or less, and I was never as insecure with them as I was with this girl. Although she never cheated in any of her relationships, I drove myself a little crazy whenever she went out to the bars with her friends.

All I know is, I will never again date a girl with a promiscuous past. Some guys can handle it, but I cant, nor do I want to.