A girl I really like got engaged and pregnant about six months after we parted ways. I really liked her while our relationship was on but got the feeling she was not that into me. I always felt she belonged to someone else, that we weren't meant for each other but I still liked her, A LOT! She confessed she was still caught up with her x-bf and it all made sense. She was clearly still in love with him. She refused to have sex/make love (whateva u want to call it) and this made me really insecure and desperate to claim her as mine. Don't get me wrong, sex was never a pre-requisite, but, among other things, I felt she was making excuses and almost "saving herself for someone else" (perhaps someone more deserving). I laugh now when I think back on my desperate efforts to make her love me, but at the time, it was traumatic and extremely frustrating. I feel stupid thinking back on how I assumed blame for our messed up arrangement but with the state of mind I had at the time, I don't see how I could have done anything differently. It almost drove me mad, I couldn't even eat! We eventually broke up because thinks were inconsistent and the disparities were getting bigger and bigger. It broke my heart all over again when I heard she was I pregnant and engaged. Here I was still licking my wounds while she had started a new life with a 'new man'. Or was he new after all? I spoke to my mother about it and she told me it's unlikely the guy is new. It's probably 'the ex' or a guy that was always there. The funny thing is, she used to tell me "I worried about nothing" every time I would confront her about her not being into relationship as much as I was. In hindsight, I think I had eveything to worry about. It makes sense why she was never worried as much as I was - She couldn't be bothered by something that meant very little, if anything, to her.
The key lesson: Never settle for less, and never ignore how something makes you feel, even when you can't pin-point the problem. If something FEELS wrong - it probably is. Love yourself first. Aways.