Geturexback... I do agree. I used the term NC earlier in my posts... not to put her out of my life or to punish her... but just to calm down, relax, and see what her next move was and to see what her intentions were. I did NC for 2 days in which she txted me about 6 times asking if I was mad, she's sorry, she called me a few times, but then when I go back to talking with her, it's the same thing over and over again. She puts no effort into seeing me. It's always texts and phone calls... Keep in mind she lives 10 minutes away and only works 4 days a week

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Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

I did NC for 2 days in which she txted me about 6 times asking if I was mad, she's sorry, she called me a few times, but then when I go back to talking with her, its the same thing over and over again.

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You are not using no contact correctly, it was working but you broke NC way too soon.

You see when you exercise no contact you take the control away from them, this causes panic and they want it back right away.

You need to initiate NC with the right kind of message either emailed, or text to her.

Believe once you see the real power of properly using NC you'll be amazed.

Her attempts to have you break NC shows she has some strong feelings for you, make her admit to them so she will see them herself.

I have written a lot of articles about no contact and how to use it properly, I also provide a free step by step plan to follow in my forum.

Why did I do this?

Because I saw too many people buying books and not knowing how to use them... see a need, fill a need.

If you want help using NC to get to the bottom of this contact me... OK?

You can listen to a would be player, or honest adults. Up to you.

It sounds like the games are being tossed back and forth.

It also sounds like she isn't being truthful to you.

Don't bother with this one.

Actually, I'd be upfront with her and tell her why you were upset with her. You made plans together then she ditched you and went out with her girlfriend instead. You have a right to be upset and since she opened the door you should tell her. She sounds a little ditzy but she's still entitled to the truth. Then go with the NC, after you've spoken your piece. If she's the least bit smart she'll learn from it. If not, then she was never worth it to begin with.

Guys, again, I don't think she is playing games or anything that bad.

All the OP has to do is talk to the girl. Try to understand the relationship is still relatively new. You are both just trying to get to know each other.

Just calm down, talk about it like adults, and don't get angry at the girl for not hanging out with you that one night.

Seems to me she already feels weird that you didn't contact her after she "ditched" you one time. She might be feeling you are a clingy or controlling guy, so you need to prove to her you are not

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You can listen to a would be player, or honest adults. Up to you.

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If you want someone with a solution or just more random opinions that's up to you.

Maybe talaniman would like to come to my forum and ask my members if I am for real or not... but that would take more courage than a random unproven accusation... wouldn't it?:rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by getyourexback

If you want someone with a solution or just more random opinions that's up to you.

Maybe talaniman would like to come to my forum and ask my members if I am for real or not...but that would take more courage than a random unproven accusation...wouldn't it?:rolleyes:

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Oooooook... Chill... nobody is calling anyone out...

Tal is the resident relationship guru, so his opinions are usually the most accurate. Its best not to contest what he says.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and it is up to OP to take it or not.

I don't know if we are here to really give solutions to problems, more like advice and opinions of what we think is best. If you are handing out solutions, you better be 100% sure you are right.

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

Guys, again, I don't think she is playing games or anything that bad.


Just calm down, talk about it like adults, and don't get angry at the girl for not hanging out with you that one night.

Seems to me she already feels weird that you didn't contact her after she "ditched" you one time. She might be feeling you are a clingy or controlling guy, so you need to prove to her you are not

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Its not like she ditched me just that one time... It's about 4-5 times now we had plans and she made up studpid excuses not to. I am trying to talk to her in person like an adult but I haven't seen her in a week. I am not clingy at all... She is the one usually texts me first.
When I don't answer she will call and keep txting.

I am trying to see where this relationship is going, but its hard when she keeps cancelling plans.

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Originally Posted by letmeknowtruth

Its not like she ditched me just that one time...It's about 4-5 times now we had plans and she made up studpid excuses not to. I am trying to talk to her in person like an adult but I haven't seen her in a week. I am not clingy at all...She is the one usually txts me first.
When I dont answer she will call and keep txting.

I am trying to see where this relationship is going, but its hard when she keeps cancelling plans.

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Hmmm... just read back on some of the stuff you said.

It seems like the two of you are missing each other. Not in the lovey dovey sense, but like when you want to see her, she is busy, and when she wants to see you, you are out. It happens. Its just bad timing.

She has said more than once that she does want to see you, does want to hang out, does like you. She wouldn't say all this if she was playing around. She would simply have said "Too bad, I was busy, catch you later" or something like that...

She also seems interested because she does call and txt you quite a bit, so that's another sign for you.

I guess the two of you need to sit down and talk properly. Discuss what is going on and not be so short with each other. Hope it works out.

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

Hmmm... just read back on some of the stuff you said.

It seems like the two of you are missing each other. Not in the lovey dovey sense, but like when you want to see her, she is busy, and when she wants to see you, you are out. It happens. Its just bad timing.

not be so short with each other. Hope it works out.

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We aren't missing each other at all... she just makes no effort... and I will give examples including what just happened tonight.

1) She text me today saying "Hey" What's UP" the usual stuff. I asked if we were gonna hang out tonight she said "Ya, I'm having dinner with my mom and then I'll be over after"
I said "Cool, just give me a call let me know when" She said "ok"
She texts me at 10pm saying "
She txts me at 10pm saying " What's up"... the same old stuff she usually does. I said hey, I just got out of the shower you? She said " Whats up"I will def. see you Friday or Saturday before you leave"Just at home watching some tv, then gonna take a shower. Keep in mind her mom lives 4 mins from my house. So...she made absolutely no effort to see me. Nor did she apologize or give me a reason why she didn't come over.

2) Before I left out of the country she said "oh I'm out with my dad at walmart, I'm going to go grab something to eat. She calls me at 9pm and we talk for 30 minutes... then I asked well what do you want to do. She says... oh well I'm tired... im sorry I'm not going to see you before you leave

3) Thursday is the day she totally ditched me for her friend

4) Friday is when she didn't get back to me to go to the movies

5) She text me the next day and said she felt bad and was sorry and that she wanted to see me that night. I said I could after 10pm. And she said that was perfect.
I called her at 9 and she said... oh well I'm hanging with Jessica right now... um... can we just hang out tomorrow. You can come to her BBQ...

So... what else can I do?

Hmmm I see...

When you put it all up like that, it doesn't look so good for her.

I still don't know for sure if she is playing games or something, but she doesn't seem super serious about your relationship

I'm still confused as to why she tells you she is sorry and is not blowing you off if she wasn't interested. I must admit, this girl is hard to figure out.

Maybe you should take it easy with her, give her some time and space, and let her come to you. Do your thing for a while, don't ask her to hang out, let her make the first move, let her come to you.

Just try keeping things right and easy, don't get mad or upset if she doesn't come after you right away. But the bad thing about this approach is she might think you are not interested in here, so do talk to her sometimes, don't go NC yet, just let her know she is still on your mind, but that you are waiting for her to make the first move.

Hope this helps...

Yeah it does... she is hard to figure out... I mean I could see if she didn't text me EVERYDAY but she does. I just got off the phone with her now... txting as always... I was getting upset, but she was just being so weird I simple told her "Well I am going to go, this situation is stressing me out. We really need to talk and work on our communication or this isn't gonna work" she said "Ok"

But get this... She text me at 10pm tonight saying the usual stuff like I said... I specifically said to her yesterda "You can come over and we can watch the movie that you wanted to see" I rented a movie she wanted to see on Saturday. I text her back tonight at 11 and said... Well I thought we were going to hang out tonight. She said "So did I" I said "Well what happened"? She said "Idk you tell me"
I told her stated numerous times I wanted to see her... She said "Well I was going to ask you if you wanted to come over tonight for a little but you have plans... and I didn't know you wanted me to come over.
If she wanted me to come over , why not call or text me right away? She says that an hour later...
What does everybody think about that?
Bc I'm just straight up confused!

Yup, I guess you are right, she is one confusing girl.

Somebody needs to sit this girl down and talk to her, tell her to get her head on straight, because not only can she not hold down a relationship like this, but doing anything in life will be difficult for her with this attitude...

Sorry dude...

Yes, I agree...
What I should I do... Just lay low for awhile..

Well how much do you like this girl?

It depends... if you think she isn't worth it, then break it off with her properly, tell her why, and be done with it, then go NC.

If you do like her, then you need to sit her down and have a real proper talk with her, and try not to accept 1 word answers or "I don't know" as a response. Get her talking and you talk too. Communication...

Man this girl would drive me crazy and I would most likely not talk to her as much. To be honest she just sounds weird to me and I would just step back and not put so much thought into her anymore. I would go out and meet new friends and lay off this girl for a while. I mean still be polite and cool but I wouldn't invite her out anymore. If she wanted to hang out or see me then she would have to be the one to say something. You have asked her to hangout plenty of times. Its time for her to ask YOU!

Yeah, I agree. She actually txt me today and asked what I was doing. I said I was in the studio till 6pm. But I could do something after. She wanted to know if I wanted to go to the mall. I asked if she wanted to hang out later on and she said she might go to bed early... haha
I just can't win

Hmmm... that's pretty messed up... Oh well, her loss...

Yeah, that was around 4pm.
She said before that she wanted to start working out with me. So I said, when do you want to start working out with me? She still hasn't responded... I think she's just playing games