Ask Me Help Desk - How long does it take...

Well, it sounds like your marriage was over a long time ago.

I dated a women who waited 10 years to get out of a bad marriage - WHY go on like that? She wwas miserable for 10 years - I think she cheated as well - when the real problem is she did not love her husband at all. It took 10 years of her life - now she is really happy. Joint custody - which will probably happen to you. My sisters exhusband cheated and he still got joint custody.

I know it's hard - BUT THIS IS THE issue - you need to either go to counselin gwith yor husband or end it. This is wh yyo ucheated.

Time to GROW up and take control of your life!

Your life needs fixing big time. Come clean. Fix. That huge weight on your shoulders will be lifted and you will grow.

You can't stay in a very unhappy marriage. You can't. Yeah you will hurt a few people. But I nthe end - things will be better. You also need to think about your well being and heal.

Right - it's no way to live.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wrappedup

Coming clean scares the hell out of me. I do have a husband who cares for me deeply. Who is still very attracted to me. Who is a wonderful man. I"m just not attracted to him, maybe not in love with him anymore. These feelings existed way before I started this affair. I also have a son who I'm afraid I will lose in the process if I were to come clean.

If could go back I would never have done this.

Unfortunately, you can't go back and undo what you did. It was horrific to say the least.

You speak fondly of your husband so I assume he is a wonderful man. If you end this affair and truly regret what you did, if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will not cheat again and that you want more than anything to renew your relationship with your husband, than don't tell him. Begin treating your husband like the great guy he is. Show him love and affection at every opportunity, even if you don't "feel" it. Do it faithfully and I know you will start to see an improvement in your life and your feelings for him will start to change. You made a commitment to him. Those vows you took didn't say love and honor only when you feel like it. Commitment is what will keep you together. Romance him. Make him his favorite meal and enjoy it with him. Have a weekly date night. Find the fun in your marriage again. I really hope that for the sake of giving your son an intact loving home, you choose this option.

But, if you know that you are not willing to give this other guy up, or that after him there may be someone else who will come along and catch your eye, then you must tell your husband. At that point, it becomes a pattern that you refuse to break and he shouldn't be dishonored with your behavior. He deserves the opportunity to find someone who will honor the vow to love and cherish.

Get Busy And Stay Positive And Do Something That Lifts Yourself Steem, Go Out Have Fun You Will Find Someone Who Will Replace Your Old Boyfriend

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gangster1

Get Busy And Stay Positive And Do Something That Lifts Your Self Steem, Go Out Have Fun You Will Find Someone Who Will Replace Your Old Boyfriend

She is married and breaking up with her sideline lover. Reread the thread. It does get confusing though:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by wrappedup

Yes Wildcat21. It's me - the mistress. He never did promise to leave his wife. I never expected him to leave her either. Nor did I have any intentions of leaving my husband. I just wanted something special on the side because I fell for him.

Anyhow, I'm in the process of ending it and was just wondering how long it would take for the pain to go away. I don't want this to end but it had to come to an end because it was destroying everyone involved.

<p>Months, years? At least you got out.