Ask Me Help Desk - Its time to move on , but I'm at lost.

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We live together (until lease is over in Oct

She is still there physically, but in no other way, and I understand it sucks right now.

Can't you move in with a friend, until the lease is up? I would have. 8 months of living with someone you loved, is pure torture.

Your not pathetic, or stupid, because if I were in your shoes, I too, would be miserable beyond belief.

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I am having a really hard time letting go , I keep constantly txting her , constantly trying to find out if she is really dating who I suspect she is dating , I keep writing her letters I keep trying to get my best friend back . We have been broken up for 9 months after 3 years together .

I know what I'm doing its not healthy , I know it will not get us back together but I'm scared to let go because I felt so safe with her I knew nothing could ever happened to me and if it did she would be there to make it better how do I let go of that feeling? She has moved on she is on her second relationship and here I am stuck loving someone who has tol dme to my face that they no longer care about me.

We live together ( until october) and then we both go our ways not by choice it was her choice she is moving to another city and just the thought of having to say goodbye having to separate what for so long was "ours" fill my eyes with tears , when I text all she says is to please stop that her life is no longer my business and I know I knows I need to stop I know she isn't my business anymore I know I got to move on that there is someone out there for me , but I don't know where to start I can go one whole day without txting her but then there is just something that just can't stop trying to get something I will never get its over.

She makes me feel so worthless , she treats everyone else sooo much better she gives everyone attention and me she talks to me out of pitty , how do I make her understand that I see my mistakes that got her fed up with me and that all I need is a chance to show her I may be who she wants but she isn't giving any chances she has moved on .

So please I understand I will not find the solution here I have 2 jobs I got to school I try to stay busy but I can't let go I'm scared to know what is like without her this isn't my first love but for some reason she got to me how can I stop myself how can I just at least pretend to move on I've bored my friends talking about this I don't know what else to do it has destroyed my life , I'm tired of crying and feeling miserable and broken.

Please don't flagmy post I am truly asking for advice , any books to read? Anything? I just need to stop I can't continue my life like this.

I am sorry that you are experiencing such heartache. It will get better in time. You are on the right track by letting it be what it is... you will have tough days and good days. Let them come and go. Keeping busy is also good. One day at a time.

Until you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will do nothing. I know your stuck, but pack your stuff and leave . Go to a friends house and be done as this has gotten way out of hand and you need out of that situation.

I think you are making yourself not forget her. If you keep on telling yourself that you can't let her go then you never will. Just start trusting yourself and know that there are other people out there for you. You may not find them right away but they are out there. If you keep on with your ex you will never be able to open your eyes and see all the other possibilities out there. We can all see that you and your EX is a done deal. There isn't going to be a seconde chance right now or anytime soon from what it seems like. You can control your own feelings. I read that on this site and it helped me a lot because its really true. You don't have to be sad.

Nobody can hurt you unless you allow yourself to be hurt.we can choose to move on or to remain stuck.where would you rather be? What would you rather be doing?moving out sounds like a good first step.

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As my previous posting we dated for 3 years we have been living together after the breakup for 9 months .

Here is the situation I need help with through out our relationship she bought me several gifts that included a laptop and a dog (one for my birthday one for valentines day) also while in the relationship she got some stuff from bestbuy under her name and the agreement was for me to pay , also while in the relationship she added me to her cellphone plan.

Well around thanksgiving last year I lost my job and got behind on a lot of my own bills including credit cards and such I didn't find a job until May of this year and I have fallen behind on the best buy bill. I told her I have every intention to pay her back for paying my cell phone and to pay of best buy I don't have any intentions to screw her over but last week she got so upset with me I suppose she is beyond mad now .

This past weekend she ended up in the hospital and she doesn't want me there or even to know where she was , I move out of the house this week and the friend that is with her at the hospital has told me that their plan (my exs and her moms) is to Take me to court and hurt me as much as they can she also wants my dog back and the laptop I really don't know what to do I don't have the money ( around 1200.00) to give her I can pay her in payments but not all at once I'm completely scared of their legal threats towards me.

Can someone please give me some advice? And the worst part of all this is through it all I still love her I just wish things didn't end like this

Well for the legal parts, I don't believe you can find information here, you may want to go to another forum. As for the relationship part, cut all contacts with her. They seem to want to hurt you as much as they can and scare you but, just the legal fees could cost a lot for them so I doubt they are going trough this way.
My advice, cut all contact and start healing, you don't need this mess in your life, you need to rebuild your life.

It is unlikely that she will be able to get back the gifts since they were just that, gifts. If you made no agreement to pay for these items at any time before you broke up then I doubt she has much legal ground to take them. As far as the agreement you did make to pay on the bestbuy items, that I'm not sure of. As paxe suggested you should really be looking more into the legal forums for more solid advice in the matter.

This is one of the reasons is is never a good idea to buy a pet for someone as a gift. The animal is usually the one that ends up suffering the most for it in the end.

I hope it all works out and you two can come to some sort of civil agreement, for you and the poor dog.

If you gave your word to pay for certain things do so, but as far as gifts go, those are yours to keep, and she has to prove there was an agreement (oral, or written ) to even get any money for it.

I believe in keeping your word, but that doesn't mean be a doormat. I would end this by doing the right thing, and fighting the rest.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If you gave your word to pay for certain things do so, but as far as gifts go, those are yours to keep, and she has to prove there was an agreement (oral, or written ) to even get any money for it.

I believe in keeping your word, but that doesn't mean be a doormat.

THANK YOU!! Exactly what I told her!! I'm tired of being her doormat , I am in no way bailing out of our agreement I am most willingly to pay her but I just don't have the big sum to pay her and she is convinces I am out to screwed her over!

I just want this to end and just have her out of my life for good I love her and I miss her but I'm in love with the person who she used to be not who she was become. Such waster of 3 yrs of my life

Good luck with the finance settlements.I don't think any relationship is a waste of time-some just don't work out but they re still a learning experience-tough as they were.love blinds us to who a person is sometimes and it s hard to come to terms with the fact that they never were that person we thought they were.. try to move on and look after you . It ll take time but you get over this.

Thank you I know in my moments of anger I say it was a waste of time but at somepoint she was who I wanted and I was who she wanted I've come to terms that its over but I just can't believe is ending this way.

I just hope that she regrets it someday