Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Is it time to text the ex yet? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=375762)

  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:32 AM
    Torrid13

    Congratulations! You didn't board the "OH GOD I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT" Train! :D

    Way to have willpower! *high five*
    Life is good man. Life is good.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:45 AM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    Congratulations! You didn't board the "OH GOD I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT" Train! :D

    Way to have willpower! *high five*
    Life is good man. Life is good.

    Is life really good man? Honestly I don't see anything good in life. In mine anyway.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:47 AM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Is life really good man? Honestly i dont see anything good in life. In mine anyways.

    Re-evaluate your life then. I see a TON of good in my life, as I create it. Being single should be all about fun. Are you not having fun?
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:49 AM
    I wish

    These types of urges can happen. The trick is to overcome these urges and you will emerge strong. I say stronger because the next time you get such an urge, you will be in a better position to withstand it.

    Good job on not giving in. If you get the urge again, just come straight back here and we'll snap you back to reality.

    The last thing we want is for you to reset all the progress you've made!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:51 AM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Re-evaluate your life then. I see a TON of good in my life, as I create it. Being single should be all about fun. Are you not having fun?

    I honestly don't know.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:52 AM
    Torrid13
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Is life really good man? Honestly i dont see anything good in life. In mine anyways.

    Aw, don't be like that. I'm going on 4 months of NC, too. There's plenty of things that are good in your life, I'm sure!

    You got up this morning, didn't you? You could breathe in fresh air, right? You had the strength to say "no" to your emotions and be the strong person and put the phone down last night. You're on the road to healing: 4 months NC! There's a lot of people out there that can't even go a week without contacting their ex! You should be proud. There are people on this site that care enough about you to try to help you when you're feeling down! You have friends! You have a life!

    What's so bad about that?

    You hurt now, yes, and the pain sucks. The flashbacks, the lonely nights, the questions of why you weren't enough for someone else. I understand. But we've got to stay positive. We have to believe it gets better, and believe that we will find someone that thinks we're the cat's pajamas (which is a good thing, by the way). Keep your head up! Look for the positive! I know you can find it.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:53 AM
    kctiger

    The coolest thing about being single:

    YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! So get busy... start dating any all and women who will go out with you! Seriously... live... it... UP!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:55 AM
    none12345

    Okay Guys! Thanks a lot!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 10:59 AM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Is life really good man? Honestly i dont see anything good in life. In mine anyways.

    I hear you, life gets boring quick.

    Granted your healing, but chances are your bored too because you just don't know what to do with your time. So, it's time for something new then.

    Move on from your ex, move on from bad habits, move on from the same ol' sh*t and start fresh with everything. Use this time as a foundation to change your life completely, not only to adjust to being single again.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 11:55 AM
    jmooney527
    I know it sucks... I've been there. I still get random texts from the ex (it's been 2 years of NC). It's the best feeling in the world to not respond to them now. I don't need that crap in my life. I wish him the best and that is it... After spending thousands of dollars to keep him out of jail (:rolleyes: <--*SUCKER*) and essentially doing anything he wanted... I would rather not talk to him at all than to ask for any money back. In fact, I consider it a PAYOFF for never speaking to me again.

    Look there is no magical cure for this. You can only try your best to overcome your emotional pull to contact them. If you have some close friends let them know you need to keep yourself REALLY occupied with stuff. I mean it... don't sit at home alone, get out there and have some fun, do everything you wanted to do while you were in a relationship. Whatever you do, don't sit home and throw back some beers while you are alone... especially when you are in a fragile state soon.

    You did the right thing by posting to the board pre-text nightmare though!
  • Jul 15, 2009, 02:21 PM
    anewday
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    progress i've made. I've become more healthy emotionally and physically.

    Have more time to work on my music, been working out and working and spending time with family and friends and chasing after my dreams which she never supported which when i was with her, i never had time for any of those.

    You already know what you have going for you.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 02:25 PM
    Chey5782
    Maybe you should step out of your comfort zone and try something new and weird. Like Salsa dance lessons or learn how to make sushi. Oddly enough you will meet some interesting people doing things like this.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 02:28 PM
    Justwantfair
    You said sushi, YUMMMMM!

    I just want to say kudos Noney. Not too many sober people have enough will power to do what is emotionally healthiest for them and you had enough will power and you were drunk. Many kudos.

    Just thinking about it seems to have set you back and you were moving forward.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 02:31 PM
    none12345

    I would love to get out more and meet new people but I have no idea on how abouts to doing that =P any suggestions?
  • Jul 15, 2009, 02:37 PM
    Justwantfair
    Check you paper or local community college for activities.
    Join leagues at your local bowling alley/bar. I made the greatest friends out of my dart league.
    Try the things you enjoy. I deal poker, make great money and have met tons of great new friends.
    You just have to find your passion.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 02:52 PM
    Chey5782
    Pool league!! Well, only if you want to hang with the crazies. I hear the dart leagues are awesome, but I suck at darts so I have no clue. Personally, I would quell the nerd in me and join a local RPG... I know.. dice/paper... what a nerd.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 03:47 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    i would love to get out more and meet new people but i have no idea on how abouts to doing that =P any suggestions?


    If you like animals for example volunteer for your local Pet shelter , you'll meet genuine people who have the same interests , and you'll be doing something that'll make you feel good about yourself.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 03:52 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    i would love to get out more and meet new people but i have no idea on how abouts to doing that =P any suggestions?

    You like music don't you?

    How about put an ad in the local papers to find people to form a band? That could be fun... :)
  • Jul 15, 2009, 04:03 PM
    none12345
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by friend4u178 View Post
    If you like animals for example volunteer for your local Pet shelter , you'll meet genuine people who have the same interests , and you'll be doing something that'll make you feel good about yourself.

    I love animals! I never had that idea before =P

    And I love music, it would be nice to have a band. Black, do you know where and how I can start a band?
  • Jul 15, 2009, 04:19 PM
    Chey5782
    Dude, pop by any music store and ask one of the guys who work there, that or they should have a board up somewhere people post,"I give guitar lessons," and "need a drummer," on those all the time.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:11 AM.