Ask Me Help Desk - What is love?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

That works great if your a doctor, and he wants you to fix him. You may just have to HELP him, by taking him to a doctor.

Using your analogy, when his leg is fixed, he doesn't need a doctor any more.

Yeah, that's right. Doctor is no more required once problem is solved. I guess I should not be the doctor. HAaa... haaa... lol..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Triund

Just wondering when you love someone should you not try to fix broken leg of the person so that he can walk painlessly?

You can't fix someone, they have to fix themselves. Even if you are able to fix them wouldn't you think that you've taken away a chance for them to learn an important life lesson- after all you've done all the work for them. If a person wants to change, whether it'd be an addiction, a personal trait, etc-- they should be the ones that fight through it, and in this time they are in now way shape or form able to have a healthy and functioning relationship. If they cannot manage handling their own lives what makes you think that they can manage another person?

There is nurturing and then there is walking down a dead end street.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Triund

I have heard people saying that they have/had great sexual relationship but they are/were not in love with their partner.

Sometimes adults make decisions to become physical with someone and avoid the relationship part. This is can also be called "casual sex". Once both parties have established a rule of "sex only" it is possible to keep the relationship part out, either that or they both understand that a relationship with each other wouldn't "work out". This is often very tricky, it usually leaves somebody hurt, this is why this type of "relationship" should be left for adults.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Triund

They are/were living with their partners and relationship is/was great but the love is/was missing. Then where is love? Why is/did love not kick in?

The beginning of a relationship starts with many feelings, it's euphoric. You see past their many faults, sometimes you don't even see them, and you even find some of their bad habits cute [i.e. biting their nails, blowing their nose on their shirt, their loud laugh, their snoring etc].

Once this stage has passed, it is often when couples start to scratch their heads and say "hey how come I don't feel in love with you?". Some split and some stay. When the infatuation stage has passed this is when a couple is really tested as a couple and you get into the "real" love part. There is no more mushy mushy I love the way you breathe at night-- you start to see the person as a person, flaws and all.

If you successfully accept the person for who they are, make a few compromises here and there you now can say you love the person.

Love isn't easy.. but infatuation is.

Quote:

Alyeska: Love is when you are obsessed with one person, think about them all the time and can do anything for them. You worry about them.There is no true explanation for love because it causes different feelings in many people.

I'd have to disagree with you. Love is by far an obsession. An obsession tends to lead to many negatives, it can even ruin your life. As I also covered, love is not feelings. If love were feelings I'm sure the divorce rate would be at 96% and not 51%. I don't mean to sound rude but Alyeska seems to think like a young teen. It's understandable that her thoughts about love would be like this since she has not lived through enough life lessons to teach her a few more things.

Just my opinion...

Sarah

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

The beginning of a relationship starts out with many feelings, it's euphoric. You see past their many faults, sometimes you don't even see them, and you even find some of their bad habits cute [i.e. biting their nails, blowing their nose on their shirt, their loud laugh, their snoring etc].

Once this stage has passed, it is often when couples start to scratch their heads and say "hey how come I don't feel in love with you?". Some split and some stay. When the infatuation stage has passed this is when a couple is really tested as a couple and you get into the "real" love part. There is no more mushy mushy I love the way you breathe at night-- you start to see the person as a person, flaws and all.

If you successfully accept the person for who they are, make a few compromises here and there you now can say you love the person.

Love isn't easy.. but infatuation is.

Very well said. "In Love" being the infatuation/honeymoon stage and "True love" being the build a life stage.

Love is always being there.
Love is always greeting you with happiness.
Love is always wanting to play, but just sitting with you if you upset.
Love is knowing they'd defend at a moments notice.
Love is never saying a negative thing about you.
Love is seeing the good in everything you do.

This is why I love my girl like no other, and if you met her I'd bet you'd feel the same way about my dog.