Quote:

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Originally Posted by Triysle

You give her a simple smile and a nod because you are a better person. It's not about giving someone what they do or do not deserve. A stranger on the street can get a smile and a nod; it doesn't make her special, you're just acknowledging that she exists and that you aren't petty enough to hold a grudge.

In essence, it's a declaration of your maturity. Who cares if she deserves it or not? You should take the high road and be friendly. I had an ex lie to me, cheat on me, and even steal from me. If I ever happen to see her again, you know what I'll do?

Exactly what I told you to do, that's what ;)

~ Tee

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Thanks Tee. You're right. A smile and nod it will be!:D

She dumped me. I recently looked at all our pics together, and I read our old emails. I even asked my cousin to give me an update on her life. I felt a sting the size of an ant bite. Should I stay NC or should I be friends? One thing though is that my cousin said she has nothing nice to say about me :rolleyes:... lol so experts, advice would be awesome!

That's entirely up to you.

I can tell that you're still interested in her, even if it is a small bit, it can still do damage. You wouldn't be here asking if you weren't a little worried, right? Besides, if she has nothing nice to say about you, why bother? You would be crawling into something that's definitely not comforting.

Staying NC sounds good to me.

Why exactly do you care to be friends with your ex? What do you have to gain? If she has nothing nice to say about you, then I fail to see what kind of a friend you think you would get by doing this.

She is an ex, nothing more, nothing less. Leave that stuff in the past.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wontgohomewou

I recently looked at all our pics together, and I read our old emails.

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If you keep doing those things, you will continue holding on to the past, instead of moving forward.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wontgohomewou

I even asked my cousin to give me an update on her life.

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The second part completely goes against no contact, because what's the difference between this and calling her up yourself to get an update?

To be more direct, you need to pretend that she doesn't exist to have the full effects of no contact.

Otherwise, you are just dragging out the recovery process.

Think about it this way. What if one of your good friends had nothing nice to say about you? What's the point in having friends like that, let alone a friend that's an ex when you're working on getting over her? Don't ask for updates, don't look at old pictures. That is not the way to get over someone.

The way you posted your question (or the fact that you posted about this at all) signals to me, and many others here, that you're not ready to be "friends".

You need more time away from her to get back to being you again. Quit looking at the pictures and getting updates on her life. Any information you find out now will hurt!

She dumped you... why should you care anyway??

BTW, trying to be friends with the ex soon after breaking up will NOT work. The feelings are still too fresh to form a true friendship. Only after much time apart can the friends thing possibly work.

Good luck and stay with NC for now. You are not over her yet.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-363075.html,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-366743.html,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...on-367236.html,

All your threads are about the same thing and your feedback and advice is always the same, stick with NC, and don't give in to false hope. At this time your posts aren't merged, but when they are, how about sticking with one thread, and stop making new questions. I understand needing support, but it would help a lot to keep the questions in one place, it really would.

Just say NO!

Hey everyone! Thanks for the support. I decided to stick with NC like an hour after I made the thread. Who am I kidding, I still am interested in her, lol. But I can also admit that I'm not sad anymore :)

And tal be nicer to me PLEASE!