Ask Me Help Desk - Frustration has taken over.

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Originally Posted by lawstudent27

think and this may be totally off base, but the hardest reason to get over her was lack of closure when we broke it off the first time, the day after my birthday. I was left asking questions

This is not way off base.. it makes sense. How do you get over something if your still left hanging? Its like you don't know what exactly to get over and where to go from there. BUT that's when you focus on the course of the relationship and not just how it ended. What lead to the break up? Focus there and u'll be good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lawstudent27

I continually thought I could help her get better or do better or want to achieve more things. I have now realized you can't make people change in all honesty you can't even remotely help them, they have to want and do it for themselves.

Awesome that you realize that! I think that was one of the most important things you could have taken from this relationship and the fact that you have gained some emotional control back. And HEY, there's you closure eh?

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Originally Posted by lawstudent27

Things will never change no matter how positive you believe and although you can have faith in a relationship, it doesn't work if that is geared to a one way attempt at making things work. I don't want to believe she was in it for the money (as you all know that does nothing for my ego but destroy it) but actions do speak louder than words.

Again, great realization. I'm glad you have taken some good advice from our posts. NO RELATIONSHIP IS ONE SIDED! And its not fair to you to be the one working your butt of while she sits back and waits for things to be fixed!

Do not date if you don't feel you are ready. You are right it wouldn't be fair to other girls if you are still having a hardtime with it.. it might help you but if you're not going to do it the right way it might turn out bad...

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Originally Posted by lawstudent27

what doesn't break you will only make you stronger.

DEFINITELY! Learn from this and learn to love who you are and what you know you have to offer a woman who deserves you! And yes it was a shot to the ego... but it happens and all you can do is grow from this!!

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Originally Posted by lawstudent27

Its funny though I have been rereading the statements and even stuff I have said and wow does it stem as pathetic in nature which is honestly something I have never been. My ego has never let me be,

I mean this in a good way but I'm glad you see how pathetic some of the stuff you've written is. I've seen people ask questions here and get great, consistent advice and then ignore it. Then they come back here more upset and hurt and are somehow surprised. Your at least learning, listening and hopefully soon to be applying what everybody is saying. If you go back and read your statements as though I wrote them and you were offering me advice, I'd bet the answers we've given you would be similar to the ones you'd give us.

Doncha love it when an OP comes back and appreciates the time and effort? Good luck LS27. Hope you come back and pass on the knowledge.

One of the greatest pains humans, especially males, can inflict on themselves, is to love a person who did not earn it.

I am sorry, but where I am from love has to be earned.

Nothing this woman has done for you in life indicates any kind of currency to paid to that end.

Samson was smitten by Delilah... to what result ?

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Originally Posted by Gillion

One of the greatest pains humans, especially males, can inflict on themselves, is to love a person who did not earn it.

I am sorry, but where I am from love has to be earned.

Nothing this woman has done for you in life indicates any kind of currency to paid to that end.

Samson was smitten by Delilah.... to what result ?

Agreed! Nice example... ;)

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Samson was smitten by Delilah... to what result ?

I told him to leave her alone and move on, but he thought he was sooooo in love. If only he had listened... :cool: :eek::rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I told him to leave her alone and move on, but he thought he was sooooo in love. If only he had listened...................................:cool: :eek::rolleyes:

Haha your expertise goes all the way back to Biblical times eh? YOU KNOW UR STUFF!! ;)

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Doncha love it when an OP comes back and appreciates the time and effort? Good luck LS27. Hope you come back and pass on the knowledge.

I tried to spread it but it wouldn't let me. I hate that sometimes. Anyway I love it when they come back and truly listen and learn. It makes it all worth while.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gillion

One of the greatest pains humans, especially males, can inflict on themselves, is to love a person who did not earn it.

I am sorry, but where I am from love has to be earned.

Nothing this woman has done for you in life indicates any kind of currency to paid to that end.

Samson was smitten by Delilah.... to what result ?

Again I tried to spread it but I was shot down.

This is a great post. Your right especially males, we do inflict this on ourselves hoping it will get better in the end. It never, and I mean never does.

Wow, that is so ironic that you guys would mention the samson thing. I went to lunch with my friend ryan today who we both go to church together, and he mentioned the same thing that it is the best of things to read right now. She has been text messaging me all night saying I love you and I am sorry, yet I know what you guys said earlier in response, she is just realizing I am over it and trying desperately to make the final attempts to keep me around. She has been trying to call and I have not been answering or responding, I did relatively break once and text back but only after she texted me like five times and it was not to say anything nice. I said to her that I want I did not ask I told her I want her to leave me alone, and I am not anyone's doormat I told her I am not someone you can walk over and think everything will be OK. I am stronger than that. I left it at that and she kept texting me yet I would not respond. It may not of been the best idea to even text that but I felt it would make her realize I am done playing her game. After reading everything today I realized I do not need someone dragging me down with their emotional unpredicatbility and why am I risking my bright future with law and everything I have going for me with someone who wants nothing more than what she has. I can't help her I tried, if she wants to smoke weed, work in the job she has, and not go to school that is not things I can help with I can't push someone who does not want to be pushed and challenged and I realized that before but hearing all of you guys say it and really dig it in helped me see just what I needed to. I just need to be persistent and strong and that is what will help me continue along this uphill road that will get easier with time. I will go away this weekend either to New York, Boston or Orlando and I will let this go with me and I will go and have a blast because nothing or anything can really hold me down if I won't let it. Thank you guys again!

Good for you! Let us know how your trip goes!!

Very, very good! Logical.

There are great womean out there!! Great ones!! This is not one of them. She is a massive user!!

It doesn't sound like the two of you are truly compatible. From your post she certainly doesn't sound like any prize. Frankly I'd forget about her and move on. As a future lawyer do you really think she's the type of person that would make you a good wife? It doesn't sound like it to me. As a lawyer you're going to be in the public eye and will need to gain the trust of your fellow citizens. One thing that they will consider, among others, is your family. If your wife is not an upstanding, trustworthy woman, it will reflect negatively on you and your level of competence as you build your legal career. That may sound unfair but it's reality. A successful lawyer has to have a wife who's practically a Barbie-doll. Not necessarily with the looks of a model but definitely a Donna Reed type.