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-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   I am so confused about my relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=359842)

  • Jun 1, 2009, 03:16 PM
    liz28

    Stop talking to her because this is adding to the torture your already doing to yourself.

    Move on and let her go. You owe her nothing and neither does you. She have her own life to live and so do you. If she wants to run around with a married man than let her because she is going reap what she sow. Karma will catch up to her.

    You still have life in you and I know break-ups aren't easy but believe me you will survive and behind every dark cloud is a rainbow waiting to appear. You can do it but you have to want to.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 03:17 PM
    totallylost07

    I want to believe in karma... but I think it's the right thing to do.. (might be the anger)... but you don't think his wife deserves the right to know that that kind of man she has at home?
  • Jun 1, 2009, 03:22 PM
    Lonelyandbroken
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    i want to believe in karma... but I think its the right thing to do.. (might be the anger)... but you don't think his wife deserves the right to know that that kind of man she has at home?
    It's not your place to hurt the guys wife though. And maybe she already know's what kind of husband she has. Your best bet is to just move on with your own life.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 03:25 PM
    totallylost07

    I think its my right her hurt the guy that hurt me...
  • Jun 1, 2009, 03:32 PM
    liz28

    You don't know what is going on in their household and I think you should wash your hands and move on.

    Yes, if my husband cheated on me I would want to be inform but I guarantees she knows something is up and pays it no mind and deals with it for whatever reasons. Or she might be in denial.

    If she doesn't knows then she needs to wise up and wake up because everyone knows their partner is up to no good. It is called instincts.

    However, you shouldn't dwell on it and should move on.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 03:50 PM
    Lonelyandbroken
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    i think its my right her hurt the guy that hurt me...
    I know you feel that way. But you know. She made her choice to be with that guy. She's the one that cheated on you. Maybe that guy didn't know about you. Either way this will just keep going around in a big messy circle. Where does the hurting one another stop. Karma will smack you in the face for hurting them again and again.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 04:57 PM
    totallylost07
    I know that guy and he knows me... he is 45-50 years old that is at least 20 years older than her... I'm sick just thinking about this
  • Jun 1, 2009, 05:27 PM
    totallylost07

    I want to be the bigger person and let it go.. but I think she is such a ty person and been feeding me all of this bs...
  • Jun 1, 2009, 05:49 PM
    talaniman

    While your anger, and frustration is understandable, don't let them make you act a fool, and regret it later.

    No excuse for being immature, but you do need to get her out of your life until you have much better control over your self and the emotional dust has settled.

    NO MORE EXCUSES, just disappear from her life.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:09 PM
    totallylost07

    So everyone really thinks that his family doesn't deserve to know that he is a cheater? I don't think that is fair to his family.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:21 PM
    Lonelyandbroken
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    so everyone really thinks that his family doesn't deserve to know that he is a cheater? i don't think that is fair to his family.
    It's not that. It's we are trying to give you advice for yourself. Not for anyone else. It doesn't matter if it's fair or not. I'm not the judge. We are just trying to tell you how to move on. Playing this game will not help you move on but prolong the suffering of a lot of people.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:24 PM
    talaniman

    Lashing out in anger and frustration makes you as wrong as her, and him, NO GOOD COMES OF THAT!
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:31 PM
    totallylost07

    So I should just let him get away with this?
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:36 PM
    Lonelyandbroken
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    so i should just let him get away with this?
    It's not your place to punish him. Right now you need to worry about yourself. Trust me dude. I know how it is to want revenge. But no good will come of this. Go out of this relationship as a man. Not as a punk. Stop waisting time trying to get revenge. And go NC and start your healing.


    I know your hurting and you see this as a way to make them all hurt just like you. But is that how you want to be remembered. Do the right thing and walk...
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:43 PM
    liz28
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    so i should just let him get away with this?
    Your not letting him get away with anything but you need to let it go instead of holding on this anger and frustration that is building up inside of you. Otherwise your going let it eat you up and it you won't be able heal nor move on.

    So let it go and don't get yourself caught up in the drama.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:54 PM
    totallylost07

    Its hard to let go... some where in my mind, it seems like if I don't tell his wife... then its another thing on my conscience
  • Jun 1, 2009, 07:57 PM
    Lonelyandbroken
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    its hard to let go... some where in my mind, it seems like if i don't tell his wife... then its another thing on my conscience
    Well why don't you try this then. Wait two months and see if you still care about hurting them so much. Right now your in a huge storm of emotion. You need to get away from it to think clearly. Revisit it in two. And if you still feel that you need to tell his wife. For her sake alone. Not to hurt the guy or your ex. Then maybe you can. But you really need to just take some time and get away from the drama.
  • Jun 1, 2009, 08:22 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    so i should just let him get away with this?

    You should get yourself under control and disappear from her life.
  • Jun 2, 2009, 05:51 AM
    Ren6
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by totallylost07 View Post
    its hard to let go... some where in my mind, it seems like if i don't tell his wife... then its another thing on my conscience
    No, that's not what's going on. You want to tell his wife in order to bust the man you are angry with. You'll only end up hurting his wife and kids, but apparently that won't weigh on your conscience, will it? Leave it alone.
  • Jun 2, 2009, 09:27 AM
    totallylost07

    I know you guys are right... but I just want to burn it all down then walk away... because Idk if I can be that bigger person. They are so heartless, it feels like they stole my soul from me. Without a soul, wth should I care what they think... maybe after I burn everything down I can move on. Because there is nothing else I can do.

    Right now, I have so many options. If I burn it all down I won't have anymore options, but to move on. I know if I let everyone know what a shady person she is, then she will never come back to me. That might be what I need.

    Sigh... just like my sn: totally lost

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