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I posted another question the other day and my question was will he be OK? I got good responses and now my question is when will I be OK? When will my heart heal? When will I stop wondering about him? I know I'm the one that broke it off, and I really think it was the right decision, so why am I so upset! Maybe because he was my best friend, seeing him not attempt to call me is good for us but sad and real... I'm just really sad and I just want to know when will it be OK?
Healing time varies from person to person but the moving on process starts with you.
Have you completely let him go? Are you ready to move on?
Since the break up is fresh the wound is still open. The good memories are still in your head but you need to focus on something else when thoughts of him enter your mind.
Go hang with him to help get him off your mind. Don't listen to sad depressing songs. Put everything away that reminds you of him.
For now just take it one day at a time.
Well, there really is no set time limit. I know there are the "guidelines" but frankly we all heal at different paces. You will be OK when you can finally accept that the situation is out of your hands, and that even if what you had is now lost, what you gained and learned from it all is just as valuable, maybe even more.
Check out my signature. It's something that I came up with while I was still deeply wounded by the loss of my first love, with some input from some of the experts here.
You'll be fine. Give it time, but make good use of the time and you'll heal faster and healthier!
~ Tee
It will be okay. I can't give you an exact day and time but the first step is letting him go. You have broke up with him, but you have not yet let him go. Not until you do, can you start the journey forward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rushed19
You will be okay in 4 weeks, 3 days, 22 hours and 16 seconds.
Hun, everyone is different.. everyone takes drama differently. If you are very emotionally upset then it could take a few days perhaps a week or two? There is no set date of time.. but in the mean time make sure you are getting distracted by things you enjoy like music, friends.. family etc..
You will be okay once you can look in the mirror and LOVE what you see.. everyday, every minute!
Until then, be patient, be kind, be yourself and try and be happy. That's what life is about.
It will be okay.
One day, you're going to wake up and realize that you're happy. You'll realize that you're going to be fine, that you're better off, that you have infinite possibilities to what you can be and what you can experience.
One day soon, you'll know that you're going to make it.
We can't give you an answer to your question, but we can all tell you from personal experience that you will make it, you will be a better person from it, and you will survive heartbreak. We all have; we can tell you that it has only made us the people we are today - strong, secure, growing individuals.
One day soon, you'll be able to look back on your relationship and smile.
I had to spread the rep, but this is really great advice.Quote:
Originally Posted by HistorianChick
It's weird because right after the break up you can't forget the person and then at some point you realize, "Hey I haven't thought about them in a long time." You may not even notice it right away.
Time heals all wounds as you know, but it varies on all people, depends if you try and move on date other people, and try not to keep in contact or ask friends how he/she is doing because usually that just re opens a wound again, if you are meant to be it will happen, I've always felt prayin helped me and develping a relationship with god and giving it to him.
I want to be married someday to a man who I love and am happy with and loves me back and we don't leave each other, and we stay happy through even having kids and I know there is always hard times, but I just want to be sexually attracted through our marriage and loving and respectful of each other, is this impossible? Is my dream of SOMEDAY finding a relationship like this unrealistic? I know there are plenty of loving men and women out there, so why do things always end up so crappy for everyone? It seems like...
Anyway, question: Is a marriage like this possible?
While you shouldn't settle for less than what you want in a relationship, you also shouldn't search for a perfect one... because you'll never find one. That doesn't mean you'll never find that special someone, he/she is out there somewhere.
Some advice I was given: Try not to find everything you're looking for in them, but see all the great things they have to offer.
Rushed 19, marriage as far as I know it won't last if you don't have God in it. I've been married since 1996 . 2006 made it ten years and this year is the thirteen year. We've been together for sixteen years. I have not always been in love, and attracted to my husband. The first couple of years I think we were at war with each other. Marriage is a process that is ongoing. You have to make it threw the bad times in order to see the good. I love my husband but, I have not always liked him. And I'm sure the same is true for him. We got married very young and have grown both spiritually, physically, and financially. I'm glad we stuck in there. I wouldn't trade being married for being single. Although if you are single please focus on you, and what GOD has to say about you. Enjoy your single life for now date only men that you would potentially marry. Get rid of the losers that don't know what they want, when they want it, or how they'll get their. Nobody is perfect but you don't have to date no one with numerous problems. ;)
I think it's possible but you have to find the person that wants that back. But beyond having that great relationship with someone else you have to have a better relationship with yourself, as that is the one that will last until your last moment. If you are not satisfied with that relationship, then you can't seek out somebody else for another one.
It is possible. It's not a myth. You do need however:
•trust
•patience
•loyalty
•good communication
•determination
•be quick to listen and slow to speak
.. and maybe a few more things but really good communication and trust is key for any healthy relationship.
Like I said it's not some strange mythical legend. It does happen, people just stop trying after the infatuation fades either that or the person has some sort of problem they need to fix before entering a relationship.
It's not science. If you look at it.. it's actually common sense. If he's broken don't fix him. If your broken fix yourself. After 8 months of being with someone and the infatuation phase has passed you either leave or stay.
Meh. My opinion.
Sarah
Is there? Does it really matter? By trying to figure all that out you are destroying the moments of happiness with fears, and self doubt.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rushed19
You loose the substance buy grasping at it's shadow. Are you happy here and now, not will you be happy, for you are only choosing for the here and now. Things change all the time, and as LedZeppelin's stiarway to heaven says, "Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on." And the old wise chines saying, "This too shall soon pass." For all things shall soon pass.
Stop making requirements for you to obtain happiness and simply pay more attention to the happiness you have like, the sun shine, the feel of rain upon your face, the fierocity of a storm, or the power going out and just grabbing a warm blanket and lighting a candle and reading a good book. Kids, even if you didn't help in making them, my Phylosophy is kids are every one's responsibility. Kids are funny, and fun. You can take them to those Pixar cartoons and not half to look like a geek.:p And you can buy ice cream and say they needed some so you figured you'd get some too... :rolleyes: Yes, Kids are fun.
Should you do meet some one, first be sure to Love, forgive (for any past mistakes or future as well), respect, know, and ultimatly be yourself. "No one in the univers desereves your love and affection as much as you do."-Buddha. Besides, How can you know your "soul mate"/"lover" if you don't know who you are?
Is that idea unrealistic? Maybe, maybe not, but you won't know until it's done. So it's kind of pointless to think or concern yourself with such thinking. It can not be logically, nor saticfacturally answered. Let it go. Instead try focusing on what you like, other than men, so you can find some one who is into what you like, and you know what you like as well so you know what you don't like.
When you are with some one, take it easy and be with them by focusing on what you are doing and enjoying the moments that make life worth living.
Just so you know, I want to be with a women that loves me as much as I love her, so we can have a balanced relationtship, with a decent house, but not big as that's just unnecessarry, kids (as I'd like to adopt or make a house where lots of kids can live safe and have fun, but maintain a working understanding of how they affect others and the environment and learn to take responsibility for themselves.) Like a group home only a bigger yard, with pets, garden (teach how hard it is to get food, and to appreciate such things.), to get out an just adventure to new places like greece, egypt, France, Spain, Germany, Britain, Hawii, and so on. (Note, I've been to Australia, and New Zealand.) I also want to enjoy my own country, and go across Canada. To learn about the stars, and do science experiments, play guitar, and various other instraments, learn about geology/geography, and so much more. Make different kinds of foods on weekends and watch a movie or do something fun... Will I get that?:rolleyes: I doubt it, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't keep working for that. The movie the pursuit of happiness, said something about how it's our right to pursue Happiness, doesn't say we will achieve it, but we can try. As Yoda says, "Do or do not there is no try." But the wise master Yoda is talking about never giving up, or so I've come to understand that phrase to mean. (Yes I know, there is no such thing as Jedi's but as I like to say, "wisedom is every where, we need only listen."-Nestorian.)
So in short it is possible, but seems improbable. Don't give up hope for the future, but bemindful to enjoy what you already have in the present. "The past is history, the future is a mystery but today is a gift, that is why they call it the present."-Master Oogway
Peace be with you.
Yes, a relationship like this is possible, but it may not be with the first person you meet or the first person that you marry.
Life is about learning and most often we learn through the difficulties, challenges and crises that relationships offer us.
So, although we may meet someone we fall in love with, we may not stay with them, but, however that relationship will teach us a lot about ourselves and about relating.
Our modern lives are complex, multifaceted and full of change. To maintain a single relationship that is loving, sexual and constant in the face of this is a great challenge.
The real challenge is to understand yourself and remain true to yourself within this context of complexity. Sometimes it will not be just one person or one relationship that will meet our needs in our lifetime.
Yes it is possible, the key is don't wait for it to come around. Because it will never get here, live your life and enjoy what it has to offer and the man that suits you will come around. Keep in mind though I agree with aj that you will never find the perfect man, however, have patience and you will find somebody perfect for you =)
Yes, it is out there, but you won't know it right away. I believe that it is something that grows within you and your spouse through time together. Personally, I can say that am in love with my spouse, and that my love has grown for her each day. On the opposite, you also can't be afraid to hurt their feelings every once in awhile. Don't hold things in, say what is bother you at the time it happens don't let it fester, because then a small disagreement will turn into an epic argument.
Yes it is possible,my parents met when they were 14 and 15 and just celebrated 40 years married..
My best friend met her husband when they were 12 and 13,they have two children but only married 3 years ago,neither has ever kissed or had sex with anyone else,I love watching them banter and just the connection they have..
For me,my love life is(was) a train wreak.
But at the grand age of 37 I met a man,but the difference this time is me.. I was happy before I met brendan,and he was happy too,so when 2 happy people get together it made such a difference.and to be honest,its magic.
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