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Originally Posted by starlite1

Hi Lonely,

That is EXACTLY what he is saying to me! what happened though? Why did you guys break up? I have to read your OP again.

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I don't know if that had anything to do with our break up. But maybe I can explain how it made me feel.

She'd get jealous and things and question stuff. It just made me feel like she didn't trust me. Or no matter what I couldn't make her happy. I loved her so I was going to stick it through. But I don't know it's hard to see someone you care about hurting. I knew that the only person that could make her happy. Was herself. It just hurt knowing I couldn't help. And it frustrated me. Everything I tried to do seemed to not help.

This sounds like us. I really have to keep myself in check. I don't want to lose this man. I love him too much.

Star, I was, still am, in the same seat as you. I fight my insecurities every day. My therapist told me it would be a struggle everyday. What makes it worse is that I've been blessed with such a great and beautiful woman, I sometimes feel as though she does deserve better.

I feel the same way about my man. Sometimes I feel as though he deserves better. Isn't it horrible that we are feeling this way?

Yea it is, I fight an everyday struggle with her being in contact with her ex's parents as they are the grand parents, but after all they put her through and the lies they sold her about moving out here, I just don't see the need for them to be friends. Civil, yes. Friends, no(her own brother sees my point of view on that) then she actually said she was thinking of inviting his dad and step mom to our wedding!

You're kidding! I wouldn't like that either. Grandkids or not, I don't think they need to be at your wedding. It's not about the grandkids, its about you two!

Exactly, I hope she was just kidding about that but no way. They have done so much to her I can't be happy when we have to see the grand parents. I just bite my tongue and get distant. They were texting for a good 20 minutes yesterday and I was getting angry. His mom is very manipulative and would always say that he loves her(my fiance) and that after rehab he wants to be a family again.

No Way! Doesn't his mother know that she is getting married to you??

Yep she knows, she just doesn't care. She's very manipulative and naïve to her son's doing.

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Originally Posted by starlite1

This sounds like us. I really have to keep myself in check. I don't want to lose this man. I love him too much.

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Yeah you just got to be mindfull of what you do. Like I said I can only tell you how I felt. But at some points it was like a burden almost. I was supportive but it was like taking care of two people inside. I felt lost and at times bitter. Like I said it was hard to watch someone hurt you can't help.

In a way I guess she was needy. But you know I was with her. I choose her she was it. And I hope she understood that. You have to trust the person your with and be thankful they picked you.

Ok, I skimmed but didn't read it all, but here is MY opinion... I DON'T flirt and if my fiancé did, which he doesn't, he would be gone... I consider flirting cheating... it creates insecurities and frankly, why does one need to flirt? Tell me what the diff is between flirting and having a conversation... it's the attitude and the content... think about it... flirting is dangerous and hurtful... I am IWHO and I approve of this message... it is ONLY MY opinion...

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Originally Posted by Lonelyandbroken

Yeah you just gotta be mindfull of what you do. Like I said i can only tell you how i felt. But at some points it was like a burden almost. I was supportive but it was like taking care of two ppl inside. I felt lost and at times bitter. Like i said it was hard to watch someone hurt you can't help.

In a way i guess she was needy. But ya know i was with her. I choose her she was it. And I hope she understood that. You have to trust the person your with and be thankful they picked you.

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You are so right, Lonely. I thank God every day for him and that he picked me.

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Originally Posted by starlite1

You are so right, Lonely. I thank God every day for him and that he picked me.

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I think in these situations you got to look inside yourself. To see if it is your own insecurities. For example in the past I had a pretty good jealous streak. Nothing to major. But it was there. With the past girl I actually didn't have one. I trusted her completely. And I got over the little jealous streak by knowing that it was inside me nothing she was doing. And it felt good. It felt good to trust someone completely.

So look inside yourself and try to figure out what it is that makes you feel that way. Try to work on it and maybe explain it to your boyfriend in a good way and perhaps he might be able to help you.