I think you will find, as others have here have, that NC will not only let your wounds heal, but take you away from her drama, and confusion long enough to see her for what she is, a mean spirited, selfish, vindictive b(female human)h, who wants to rub it in, to get some sort of satisfaction from your discomfort. You can't beat her up, but you will beat yourself up.

Yes it hurts, and this is but something else that life will throw at you, that will hurt. Learn now how to deal with your feelings in a positive way, by loving yourself enough, to make yourself happy, like you tried to do her.

That's the best revenge, showing her apathy, and ignoring her completely.

Talaniman's wisdom always makes me feel good. He is a great mentor.

Having just done this less than two weeks ago, let me say that it is an amazing help deleting your ex from myspace/facebook/what have you. It really provided me closure, and a lot of relief.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think you will find, as others have here have, that NC will not only let your wounds heal, but take you away from her drama, and confusion long enough to see her for what she is, a mean spirited, selfish, vindictive b(female human)h, who wants to rub it in, to get some sort of satisfaction from your discomfort. You can't beat her up, but you will beat yourself up.

Yes it hurts, and this is but something else that life will throw at you, that will hurt. Learn now how to deal with your feelings in a positive way, by loving yourself enough, to make yourself happy, like you tried to do her.

Thats the best revenge, showing her apathy, and ignoring her completely.

---

I see the wisdom in your advice. I just don't understand why she want to keep hurting me. It's not like I've called her names tried to get revenge or anything. Yes I've snooped but she can't tell that. I've not played any internet games like away messages myspace moods etc. I've just simply tried to disapeer. So what's the point in comment my myspace and flaunting this new guy to me. What does she get out of it.

Quote:

---

I just don't understand why she want to keep hurting me.

---

She needs your attention to feed her ego. Twisted thinking I know, but that's why you don't try to figure her motives out. Females know which buttons to push, and your letting her push yours. Start deleting her from everything.

Guys, your life is better when you don't try to figure a females mind out, you must trust me, it will drive you cuckoo!

She only does that cause she thinks you're going to get jealous just so she can get some sort of affirmation that she is hot stuff. Anyone who does this to anybody is quite the opposite... It's called lower than dirt.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

She needs your attention to feed her ego. Twisted thinking I know, but thats why you don't try to figure her motives out. Females know which buttons to push, and your letting her push yours. Start deleting her from everything.

Guys, your life is better when you don't try to figure a females mind out, you must trust me, it will drive you cuckoo!

---

Well yeah now that I think about it. She's always "been friends with her ex's" and still talks to some of them. I know she's not a very self secure person. And this caused problems. It always seemed like she wanted me to make her feel like she had self esteem. I suppose that is what the new guy is about. To make her feel good about herself. I suppose that's the reason she still talks to her ex's to feed her ego and try to boost her self worth. I know I'm trying to figure this out when I should just say F it. She made her choice and I shouldn't want to be with anybody that thinks I'm not good enough.

And I know that. But the new guy really set me back. Made me feel like I was just nothing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fuzzball_Kara

She only does that cause she thinks you're going to get jealous just so she can get some sort of affirmation that she is hot stuff. Anyone who does this to anybody is quite the opposite... It's called lower than dirt.

---

LOL this made me laugh. Lower than dirt. Nice. She does have self esteem issues. And yeah I can see that. Just trying to string me along so she feels good about her self and what's been done.

Glad that I could make you laugh. :) I know too many girls and guys out there that are like that. Its horrid. They give the rest of humanity a bad name.

She keeps hurting you because you allow it to. I know it's hard but it's like a fire, if you continue to feed into it, it's going to burn, you take away it's source, it dies.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

She keeps hurting you because you allow it to. I know it's hard but it's like a fire, if you continue to feed into it, it's going to burn, you take away it's source, it dies.

---

Well I got so feed up with myself last night. That I just deleted her myspace and aim. I knew I had to do it. I suppose it just took me a few weeks to convince myself. Now I'm just trying to convince myself that. "she choose to walk out on you. She has no right to pick and choose to enter and leave your life at her will. It's up to me to decide who enters my life and when"

I still have a huge urge to "check up" and see what's she's doing. I know it will only lead to more hurt. How do you overcome this urge. That's I think in it all my eventual undoing. Along with over analyzing every little thing. So how do you stop doing these things.

By building your life and gathering activities in it that don't allow you to have time to check up on her. Period. Make your life the priority, not hers.

Yeah that and time. We think alike lonely and broken. I'm also a pretty deep thinker who constantly analyzes until I get answers. If you want to be destroyed by a mystery wrapped in a puzzle then by all means try to solve this. You never will. Frustrating, I know. If I had to guess, I would say one of things that you found attractive about her in the first place was that you could never quite figure her out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by inertia

Yeah that and time. We think alike lonely and broken. I'm also a pretty deep thinker who constantly analyzes until I get answers. If you want to be destroyed by a mystery wrapped in a puzzle then by all means try to solve this. You never will. Frustrating, I know. If I had to guess, I would say one of things that you found attractive about her in the first place was that you could never quite figure her out.

---

Yes I analize everything. And I think I'm the classic person that gives awesome advice but can't take their own. I know everything I should do. But it's like I need a push from some outside source.

I know in the end I will be fine. But I suppose I can't see the forest for the trees right now.

You're just holding on to some false hope.

You're heading in the right direction by deleting her. Just give yourself some time to get over this. You will eventually recover and come out even stronger.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by I wish

You're just holding on to some false hope.

You're heading in the right direction by deleting her. Just give yourself some time to get over this. You will eventually recover and come out even stronger.

---

Yes I would agree that it's false hope. But I always do it. How do you learn not too

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lonelyandbroken

Yes i would agree that it's false hope. But i always do it. How do u learn not too

---

I know how you feel. I've been holding on to false hope for a few months now. I guess we just need a push. For me, my heart was telling me to hold on and my brain was telling me to let go. It's all mental strength. That's why I mentioned the word "stronger." It's cause we are mentally weak. We let our heart dictate our actions. Following our heart is great when all is well and happiness is in the air. But right now, that's not the case. There's pain and suffering, so because of that, we need to let our brain take over our actions.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by I wish

I know how you feel. I've been holding on to false hope for a few months now. I guess we just need a push. For me, my heart was telling me to hold on and my brain was telling me to let go. It's all mental strength. That's why I mentioned the word "stronger." It's cause we are mentally weak. We let our heart dictate our actions. Following our heart is great when all is well and happiness is in the air. But right now, that's not the case. There's pain and suffering, so because of that, we need to let our brain take over our actions.

---

No kidding. When it first happened. I was pretty strong. Did NC deleted stuff. Went on a trip and avoid all computers and stuff. Then I broke. And learned of her kissing another guy. That's when I mentally broke down. And my strength faded and I start looking into everything. And I knew it would prob hurt me. Yet I did it anyway. I'm trying to build up my metal strength again.

I should have deleted her myspace when it happened. I don't know why I didn't. B.c I knew it was going to lead to something bad. And I'm sure her sending me comments is either out of guilt or her just wanting an ego boosts. And her trying to pic and chose when she can be in my life.

Just let it go, she wasn't worth it. Don't give her the benefit of showing her how she affected you.

Learn from this experience and move on. Don't allow yourself to suffer anymore.