Okay, but I would love to know the outcome.
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Okay, but I would love to know the outcome.
Don't worry I will let you guys know, but yea ill probably end up getting hurt but half of you think I deserve that anyway so you will have something to look forward to! But if we do work out.. . Then maybe moving on doesn't always have t be the answer.
Ok to keep you updated, My Best friend and his girlfriend came into town this weekend for his birthday. Recently she has not been texting back with more than a few word answers an hour or so later. So I called her to see how her day was going and told her that my friend,his girlfriend and I would be going to a bar later that night and she is welcome to come if she liked. She said sure that sounds fun. So we went out had a great time she got to know my buddy's GF I pretty much hung out with him and sometimes we all just hung out and talked. Some things I noticed: She told me a story of how the night before she was at a bar with her friends and a guy they came with (who had a GF as well that came but ended up leaving because he was hitting on another girl, apparently common and accepted in their relationship) she told this guy that with her ex (me) she always new that even if she danced with other guys and I talked with other girls, that we would be going home together. <-- I feel that displays some kind of trust still. Also on the way home she insisted we stop at the bar I work at and say hi. Then we went to CVS to get cards for my mothers birthday the next day. We ended up laying on the floro at CVS for like 40 minutes trying to find cards, she asked my opinion on what card she should get and she helped me as well. On the way home she put her arm on my shoulder and kind of leaned agiast me the whole way. Also commented with things like I will probably fall asleep with my head in your lap like I always do. We then spent the next day (sunday) together and went to aquarium had a good time she did seem not as affectionate or responsive but will still hug me back or come close to me. After we got backt to my house I asked her if she wanted to come in she said she was probably just going to go home. I didn't feel it went to well that day, but she called me as soon as she got home to just vent to me about something that just happened to her about her family. Then an hour later she called again just to see what I was doing and if I wanted to come over next Saturday and make some kind of fruit basket thing for our mothers for Mothers Day, we ended up talking for about 40 mintues about just casual things. I have made sure not to bring up anything about the relationship. Now for me I still think that no Contact is not the right decision, I feel like this is making more progress and that just accepting that fact that it is over doesn't always have to be the only option no mater how dull and gloomy it looks.. . This is the update as I promised. I still don't know if this is leaning more towards what she said about just wanted to be friends and wanting to date other people or if she might not be ready to move on, but I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing.
You sir, sound like you are heading into the friends zone. Enjoy this bumpy, confusing ride that she is taking you on. And you have no one to blame but yourself.
Yea it is confusing for sure, what makes you think that though? I mean 2 weeks ago she told me she was thinking that she might want to get back together then I had that conversation with her that messed everything up but she seems to be acting that way again like she was in that week. Just wondering what makes you think I'm heading into friends zone?
It's the good old, push and pull method. I fell victim to it when I was in HS. As soon as you think you gain ground, then a "fight" happens and she suddenly changes her mind. This allows her to do what she wants, while having you as a back up option.
I am definatley hesitant and analyze a lot of what she does but most of the time she contacts me we speak everyday and talk all the time. I am just going off hope, the hope that maybe she really does miss me and maybe her feelings towards me will change as the fear fades. And all the nights she was alone will be replaced with the feelings she is getting from me being around all the time. I don't know where this is going and you might be right and I very well could get hurt, but as they say love is blind.. .
You ARE in the friendzone. Sorry, but your like her girlfriend, and just think, why would she get back with someone who is there as much as before, maybe more, but she has no commitment with.
Another thing to consider while your meeting her needs as a friend, what are the chances you neglect other social areas of your life, and CAN move on to some one else??
You are way to available for whatever she wants, and that means your not doing things for yourself, but keeping false hope alive in your mind. Just food for thought.
I don't call her she calls me, and since we just broke up 4 weeks ago now and 2 weeks ago she was considering getting back together, how can I be just in the friends zone? I really don't think feelings go away that fast. And its not like we never talked or anything before just in the past 6 months or so I haven't been hanging out with her or talking to her as much as I used to. I only saw her about 2 times a week but we did speak everyday just like we do now.
I don't call her she calls me,
Thats what is known as a short leash. If you are always available when she wants you thats just like a friend/girlfriend.
And since we just broke up 4 weeks ago now and 2 weeks ago she was considering getting back together,
So after a month of talking with you in limbo, you haven't seen her actions match her words have you??
How can I be just in the friends zone?
Its been a month, you talk, but aren't together. Thats a fact you cannot dispute. Talk is not actions.
I really don't think feelings go away that fast.
No they don't, but they do change that fast. Another fact of life.
And its not like we never talked or anything before just in the past 6 months or so I haven't been hanging out with her or talking to her as much as I used to.
Thats because she has you in the friends zone, and thats where you'll be until something better comes along.
I only saw her about 2 times a week but we did speak everyday just like we do now.
Except now, she is not committed to you, and is a free agent open for options, and opportunities. Because she hasn't so far, (to your knowledge) doesn't mean she won't.
Tour to available and to wrapped up in this female and now she is dictating the terms and your going along with it. Sorry guy, your only following her lead, and not following your own interests.
Well for that week she was considering getting back together before I brought up the relationship and became weak, she was displaying signs. She let me spend the night and cuddle with her, we laid in her bed and watched movies all day. She didn't want me to leave anytime I came over. And for her to let me do those things after saying I will never be allowed to do them again is something I would say.. .Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Well in that case do as she says until she changes her mind, and takes you back. You are hers to control anyway, and you seem to like it that way.Quote:
Well for that week she was considering getting back together before i brought up the relationship and became weak, she was displaying signs. she let me spend the night and cuddle with her, we laid in her bed and watched movies all day. She didn't want me to leave anytime I came over. And for her to let me do those things after saying I will never be allowed to do them again is something i would say . . .
Good luck with that.
Let me ask you something, why would you want to be with someone who controls what you can and cannot talk about. I would never tolerate that. Some things I say might anger my fiancé, but it doesn't stop me from expressing how I feel. She has full control over your life.
I bet if she said she was going to call you, you would stay at home and wait like a puppy for their master looking at that phone.
I have been in control the entire relationship, Since we broke up I have been trying to respect her wishes she asked me to not bring up the relationship issue, I will respect that for now because she isn't ready to talk about it. When she is we will talk about it. We never fight or argue, I have messed up here, the ball is in her court and yea she knows that I'm sure. But I'm not going to do something to make her angry or upset right now because I have hurt her enough. At the moment I am OK with this and so is she. I know that will need to be evaluated again in the future but for now it is fine. She is confused and scared why would I press an issue that upsets her and she is not ready to speak to me about?
Hey buddy I tink the gal has finally woke up form her deep sleep . Every time you treated her bad would have hurt her a million . So let me just tell you sumtin I tink she'll do better off with out this relationship so, let her go... true loves is about making your partner happy in all ways. Give her the freedom off your love.
I always think that if it was there you can bring it back. Just treat her right from now on whether your together or not. If your frinds she can always fall for you again, but she won't like you keep asking. If you find it hard being friends at first say so, then she will know your not avoiding her. The trouble is, after your relationship, any guy who treats her bettar than you did will seem like the perfect man
Putting way too much emphasis on getting her back. Look, to all the guys with balls that obviously haven't dropped yet, live your life for you, and don't go chasing some female around, especially one that isn't right for you. Why can I say this? Because I have been there. Don't be her friend either, that is about the stupidest thing you can do by trying to get over someone. Think about that... rather than moving on, just be stuck in a worthless friends' zone for eternity, all the while watching her date random dudes while you are sitting there like a puppy. No life I would want to live, that's for sure.Quote:
Originally Posted by joshdom
Carry on youngins... :cool:
Good grief! I wouldn't give you another chance... you've even cheated on her TWICE... do you REALLY even CARE about this girl, or is it that you have lost her, so now you want her back?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cmhasty
It worked out for me :) we are not back togetehr yet but everything is great its basically like being back togetehr without the title, but with the way things are going it will be their shortly. She is happier I'm happier so things are good. Just thoguht I would let you guys know. Thanks for your input and advice
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