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-   -   Dating a cracking girl, just want some advise. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=344207)

  • Apr 21, 2009, 11:51 AM
    HistorianChick

    Honestly, it seems like the fact that you both said, "Not on the first date" is giving you the impression that date number two will be a booty call.

    That's very abrupt for me to say that, yes, but that's the way it came off when I read your question and the ensuing replies.

    You can find a VERY intimate restaurant with candles, wine, and a table for two - if you put a little work into it. Because, I can guarantee, if you go to your place for "wine on the couch, snuggling" with every intention to "talk all night" that's NOT going to happen.

    Know that you're physically attracted to her, respect that, and if you don't want to view this date as a means to an end (i.e. a booty call), simply make other arrangements.

    Best of luck!
  • Apr 21, 2009, 03:01 PM
    musicianguybrum
    I think you may be 100% right, 2morro I'm meeting her at her area, might take her to her local pub for a drink or two, going to make it a "cool" date, somewhere where we can just chill, relax and chat, the last date I took her to an up market restaurant on the canal side in birmingham (UK), would like to go somewhere normal with her, this way there won't be as much pressure for us both to try too hard.

    Also do I take flowers? I know she likes bueno chocolate...
  • Apr 21, 2009, 03:12 PM
    JudyKayTee

    I would skip the flowers (I hate spending the evening looking after flowers) but I would definitely get the chocolates.

    You sound like a very romantic guy who thinks things over. In fact, you are sounding better and better!
  • Apr 21, 2009, 03:14 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HistorianChick View Post
    Know that you're physically attracted to her, respect that, and if you don't want to view this date as a means to an end (i.e., a booty call), simply make other arrangements.

    Best of luck!


    I hope you realize I'm not trying to hijack this thread but this made me smile - on our second date my husband made what he later called his Infamous Move on Judy. I said, "If I go to bed with you, how do I know you'll respect me afterwards?"

    And he - with big blue-eyed studied innocence - actually said, "I'll respect the sh*t out of you afterwards."

    And so I'm remembering and smiling.
  • Apr 21, 2009, 03:22 PM
    musicianguybrum

    Im always the romantic, I just have to make sure I don't get too attached too fast, as that has been my downfall in my past, I have called her a lot recently, and think she hinted it a bit, so I'm going to try and cool it down a bit I think, its only early in the whatever this is, no rush, then again, I don't want to take it too slow... think ill go for the chocolates too, she will find it more romantic, as we had the chocolate converstaion earlier... by the way, what the hell is a Bueno?
  • Apr 21, 2009, 03:24 PM
    redhed35

    At the end of my life I hope I will say,yeah,I took a chance on love.. and even if I lost,man,it was good!

    Its hard to ignore magic when it's there..
  • Apr 21, 2009, 03:38 PM
    musicianguybrum
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by redhed35 View Post
    at the end of my life i hope i will say,yeah,i took a chance on love..and even if i lost,man,it was good!

    its hard to ignore magic when its there..

    Best quote of the day for me that!
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:25 PM
    musicianguybrum
    2nd date :P
    Threads merged

    Hey there all,


    Very strange for me to feel like this, goosebumps when I see her, joy when I get a text, and my heart just stops when I see her smile...

    Today I went to see her for our 2nd date, and she treated us to ice skating (which was fun, although I did fear for my life... but luckily she was as bad as I was lol)...

    On the first date, we kissed a hell of a lot, and therefore today, she imposed a kissing ban, so we could get to know each other better. At the time I hated this, all I wanted to do was kiss her... But, had a great time chatting to her, still hugged and held hands etc...

    Im just worried about the way I'm feeling about her, I have never ever felt this way about someone before, and I hate the feeling that I can't stop thinking about her. Im not one who likes to open those trust barriers etc...

    Anyone got any answers, what am I feeling, and how can I keep myself in control of my emotions... (and loose that urge to want to kiss her lol... its torture)...

    Its so easy to give advice, but when it comes to yourself, its impossible to stay level headed...

    Thanks... p.s. I'm a guy, 22, and from the uk... lol :)
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:40 PM
    artlady

    The only thing I can really advice is respect her wishes and tell her how you feel ,without scaring her off. Too much of anything can be a bad thing.

    She seems to be interested also but she seems better able to control herself.

    Give yourself a mental pep talk before you see her and advice yourself to play it cool.

    You sound like your are lovestruck :)
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:43 PM
    lighterrr

    Have you ever been in love before? What you are describing to me sounds like the whole infatuation phase/high most human being experience when they meet someone new that the like. Its completely natural. All those chemicals in the brain working overtime. Enjoy the feelings that you are having now.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:47 PM
    musicianguybrum
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by lighterrr View Post
    have you ever been in love before?

    Never, I've felt lust for someone, but never love... I do like this feeling I'm having, but I'm constantly feeling something weird in my stomach now, and can't get her out of my head...

    All I want to do now is cuddle up with her like we did earlier in my car, having her in my arms... (only problem is... she seems to like my man boobs... and likes to squeeze them... hmmmmm... lol)
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:50 PM
    lighterrr

    Maybe its love that you have finally found, would that be such a bad thing?seems like she is enjoying you just as much and just wants to take her time. Just relax and try to move forward at her pace.

    Good luck to you
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:52 PM
    Fuzzball_Kara

    Well, you can always try to "take care of yourself" before the dates. Haha. Jk. Just focuse on having a good time. Respect her wishes. Girls love it when you do.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:53 PM
    jjwoodhull
    It's so great when you first meet someone that you really like. She is right - you guys should take the physical part slowly. Get to know each other and enjoy each phase of the relationship without rushing through it.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 04:53 PM
    musicianguybrum

    I know exactely what you mean... here is are my problems:

    - Im the least patient person in the world for everything, and I have told her this, and explained that she needs to tell me to shut up if I try and rush things...

    - Im afraid of being in love, as I don't want to get hurt - you hear about it every day...

    - I have trust issues, 3/5 of past relationships ended due to cheating scumbag bicthes

    - Im sexually inexperianced - I don't want to dissapoint.

    I want to be in love with someone, but I don't want to fall!
  • Apr 22, 2009, 05:06 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by musicianguybrum View Post
    i know exactely what you mean... here is are my problems:

    - Im the least patient person in the world for everything, and i have told her this, and explained that she needs to tell me to shut up if i try and rush things...

    - Im afraid of being in love, as i dont want to get hurt - you hear about it every day....

    - I have trust issues, 3/5 of past relationships ended due to cheating scumbag bicthes

    - Im sexually inexperianced - i dont want to dissapoint.

    I want to be in love with someone, but i dont want to fall!

    If you fear love and are not putting your heart out there ,you are safe right?

    Wrong.If you fall you fall and all the planning in the world isn't going to stop it.

    Your fear can imprison you and not allow you to experience life to the fullest.

    There is an old expression and I believe it to be true.

    It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

    There are no guarantee's in this life and love is the biggest leap of faith there is.

    Inexperience in bed is easily fixed .Practice makes perfect.

    You could be Don Juan but every girl is different and you have to get to know her,that is what makes a good lover.Knowing the person you are with.Mind and body :)
  • Apr 22, 2009, 05:12 PM
    musicianguybrum

    How come it is so much easier to give advice, than to take your own? I don't understand us humans!! I'm already missing D... how pathetic is that... lol
  • Apr 22, 2009, 06:13 PM
    oldenoughtoknow

    How old is she? She around the same age?
  • Apr 22, 2009, 06:27 PM
    StNerevar

    Yeah, it definitely sounds like you're falling in love. Don't worry I did it too, it happens.. lol. But everyone is right, you need to take it slow. If you rush things, it'll all blow up in your face before you even truly get to experience this potential love. Let it all unfold as you go, no need to hurry.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 06:34 PM
    lighterrr
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by StNerevar View Post
    Yeah, it definately sounds like you're falling in love. Don't worry I did it too, it happens..lol. But everyone is right, you need to take it slow. If you rush things, it'll all blow up in your face before you even truly get to experience this potential love. Let it all unfold as you go, no need to hurry.

    :D just enjoy the feelings you are having and stop looking for excuses to be miserable, love is one of the most precious and rewarding gifts we can give and receive as human beings. Be happy you have found it.:)

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