Ask Me Help Desk - The Dreaded Break

Give her the key back and ignore her phone calls, and really now that you guys are not together does it matter if she was a virgin or is having sex now

No it doesn't matter, but it doesn't make it hurt less. I was with her for 5 years, that's a quarter of my life so far. And it just hurts to know that even back then she was lying to me. And it hurts knowing she already is with someone else. But no it doesn't matter anymore.

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Originally Posted by Caecus

ARGH. Why does sh*t like this have to happen? I mean seriously. Why does this kind of thing happen? Im finally starting to feel sick and more sad and stuff like i was last time we broke up. I hoped it wouldnt happen, but it did. Im sorry if it sounds like im ranting or venting, but honestly, i can't talk to anyone here about this really. I can't talk to my mom, cause she already hates Nicole (My ex) and i really dont want her to hate her. I guess i am still holding onto straws about the whole her getting back together thing with me. I really can't help it, But im sure the guys that are here know what i mean, and the girls probably do to. She told me i could keep my copy of the key to her place, and idk why. Its driving me crazy. Im trying my best to get through this, but im going crazy. Luckily my aunt and grandpa that live in Roseburg (Bout an 4 hour drive away from where i am now) and im going to go and spend a few weeks with them in a couple days. I can't wait to get outta here. At least up there i know for a fact i wont run into either Nicole or her new boyfriend anywhere, and if she calls i can just ignore it without her coming over.

On a side note... I just found out from Nicoles step sister that she probably wasnt a virgin when we first made love. I was, and she said she was. It was when we both were 17. But i had heard some things when we were in high school together that i didnt think were true, as she had just started dating me, and the things i heard were from her ex. But the more that i think about it, and the fact that i have heard about it from other people... I really dont think she was. And from the fact that every time we broke up she was having dating and having sex with someone within a few days of us breaking up. She has been dating this guy for 3 days now (As far as i know, but hell im sure she has been with him for longer) and her step sister said that they are having sex already. Blargh. Why does this sh*t happen.

And the only way i can find to fall asleep is to just stay up to an ungodly hour watching movies trying to not think about her, and then pass out from exhaustion. And im starting to run out of movies. Im trying to pick movies that have nothing to do with romance or anything like that so i dont have to think about it, but unfortunatly, almost every movie my mom owns is romance. Im going bloody crazy.

Lol, ok guys, thanks for this venting. I really needed it, lol.

How to sleep? Simple, get really tired to exhaustion everyday in other ways lol. Do push ups right before bed so you get a work out start to look fit and you get tired. That's what I do. Make your days as productive as you can so by the end of the day you will be dead tired and be able to fall asleep.

Why do sh*t happen? Because it does I've learned it the hard way I thought I was living in perfection but nothing is perfect. I think it happens to bring us back to reality and its life trust me I know how hard it is to break up I'm still healing but the best way is to NC. Go for your dreams! Be happy! And your ex will regret one day.

Will the pain ever go away? Eventually you ll start to feel numb from too much pain and you can't feel anymore lol. There will always be up and down. There will be days when you feel you are ready to take on the world and whatever obstacles it throws at you and there will be days when something reminds you of your ex and you get sad.

Good luck dude hope things start to look up - none12345

Yeah. Today was an up day, I was on top of the world, nothing could bring me down, period. I could even think about her just fine without freaking out or anything. And then I saw her in town with her new boyfriend. I think she is stalking me, lol. I seriously keep seeing her in places that I shouldn't see her, that she doesn't go to, but knows I do.
And then it just went down hill. Well, its an ungodly hour already, so I'm going to try to sleep now. Talk to you later.

First of all, I just wanted to say, no one actually has to read this or respond, I just need to talk about it. Talking helps and no one at my house wants to talk about her.

Well, I had a break down today. I was cleaning up my storage room at my moms, we are having a Realtor come over tomorrow. I was cleaning my storage stuff up, moving boxes and stuff, and started going through a few. I found an old shoebox that I kept all of the notes me and Nicole used to write back and forth to each other in high school. And I just snapped. I just couldn't take it anymore, and just couldn't stop crying. For almost 3 hours I couldn't stop. I miss her too much. All I want is to go to her and tell her how much I miss her, how much I love her. I just want things to be how they were. I probably sound like a whiny baby, but I just don't care. I lie awake at night, which is when I do all my thinking, and I just can't stop thinking about her. I just want to be with her. That's all I have wanted for the last 3 years, ever since our relationship became a serious one and I gave her a promise ring. I just can't stand that it is over. Everything I have tried to do since high school is to make our lives happier and better, especially further on down the road. I was planning on asking her to marry me after I got out of basic training for the air force. Everything I have planned, its just gone. And now I don't know what to do. I can't even think straight anymore. I took an online practice ASVAB test(For the Air Force), and I got 12 out of 50 questions right. The last time I took it, I missed one question. I can't get her out of my mind, and I just can't stop thinking of how to get her back. I love her. I love her more than anything in this world. I would rather live as a pauper with her, than be a king without her. I just can't stand this.

Thanks for the rant.

Hey dude, don't worry ill always be here to talk. Dude trust me I've felt exactly the same way you did recently. There are some things I want to share with you. I lost my first love but I've come pretty far.

How do you get better? You keep no contacting them. It takes hells long of a time but it does get better very slowly. There is nothing you can do to get her back, I did everything in the book and so did everyone else. I want to save you the pain. If you want to find out for yourself, go over there, beg her to come back, show her how desperate you are and see if she comes back or not. Seriously the best thing you can do is don't contact her and move on with your life. If she really loved you, she will come back but don't expect her to just in case she doesn't.

Her stuff? Toss them all out, just seeing them brings back memories and pain. Delete her off myspace/facebook, her phone number off your cell, her contact off msn or aim or w.e.
Its okay to cry man. I cried so much too and I'm a guy too just like you!! Never cried so much in my life, but they don't really care how much we get hurt. They've made up their mind and they are not coming back. So dude do yourself a favour, get rid of all the pain by getting rid of her in your life. I know this sounds harsh and mean but it's the only way trust me.

Look what she is doing to you bro!! You're not going anywhere in your life. You failed a test and I DID TOO!! I FAILED 2 EXAMS IN UNIVERSITY FIRST YEAR JUST A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO! I can't stress this anymore than I already but don't let her ruin your life, she is not everything. You need to get your life back on track. Focus on becoming a better person, your studies, your goals in life. Do everything you want to in life and don't let her stand in your way. Be happy!

One day, that special someone will walk into your life! The one that will love you, stand by you, never leave you, treat you well, funny, beautiful, the girl you thought you would never meet and you will look back and be glad things happened the way it did. I've did so much for my ex too so much its not even funny I went 200 miles to and 200 miles back to see her and trying to make things work out 3 TIMES!! Didn't work... AND LOTS MORE DUDE... truth is we deserve better and we will get it.

I ll be here if you need to talk or have questions or need advice or support just write back =P