Actually, I think it feels more like getting kicked in the junk every time... but brick wall works too!

Oddly, it takes us awhile before we stop standing there ha ha

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my XGF thinks otherwise and insists I get a better job, insists I work my off.. for what? So she can stop hanging with the sugardaddy at dinners?

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Well now you know your just one of many hoping to be the one she chooses. You wasted enough time but finally see for yourself that she doesn't want what you want and will never be satisfied with you just making it off whatever your income is.

Your not the first one to live off false hope, and won't be the last, but its good your finally seeing the light.

I am/was on NC with my X. I understand that I just shouldn't care who or what she dates, I mean, we aren't dating! But life doesn't work that way. Our friends are connected and so because of that we are mutually connected, even through the grapevine. Basically I found out that after we broke up (dated from 20 - 28). She is 28, I am 28, she is now dating a guy who is 38+ years old. He is ugly, bald, old, but he is a lawyer and has $.

I should have just ignored it, but I am an idiot, I called her and basically had it out with her. She would not answer, and put me off saying she didn't want to talk to me none of my business, etc. I couldn't accept that as an answer and so we started text messaging, and finally she broke down and told me that yes, they were dating, and that he respects her, treats her like a queen, and that she can ultimately see herself marrying him.

This makes me feel like crap. I know that I am better off without her, but this is just a serious low blow after 8 years of relationship. On top of this, she told me she loved me not 2 months ago. This guy has been in the picture for the entire 8 years, she use to work for him, he gives her money, loaned her money for the car, just recently flew to New York with her, and takes her to expensive dinners. When we dated she told me they were friends and I "sorta" believe her, but now that were not an item she rebounded to him and thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread.

Why do I feel so bad! I should be jumping for joy that my feelings about us not working are validated when she makes ridiculous decisions like this, but I just don't feel that way.. I feel horrible, like someone kicked me in the stomach. I don't know if I'd feel any better if he was her age, good looking, and had some of my qualities, I can just see right through him and her and I know she is with him cause he is a lawyer and she is so above his level looks wise that he will do anything for her.

I can't stop thinking about it...

I have been there. Some of it is about the fact that your ego is bruised because she moved so quickly. I know mine was. The truth of the matter is that this new guy is a rebound boyfriend and the chances of it working out are slim. It probably wouldn't work out again with you two either but the only thing you can do is give it some time a and distance. The age difference could be an issue it would depend on where they are, if its 40 and 28 that can be aproblem if its 50 and 38 not so much. I would tell you to try and let it go.

Sucks, but you knew it was inevitable. Another case of the person "you have nothing to worry about, we're just friends" being the person you have to worry about the most!

Don't worry about your ex and who she is dating. She has the right to date whoever she wants just like you have the right to date whoever you wants.

I understand you and her have friends in common but you need to set boundaries them. She shouldn't be discuss because it obivious you have some more healing to do.

Calling her to tell her off was a big no no but you live and you learn. Don't repeat that mistake again by calling her because you don't approve who she is dating. If she wants to date an older guy to use then let her.

Ex is in the past don't waste another moment on her. Find your happiness because you only have one life to live.

What your ex does is her business.

You need to worry about yourself now and not fret over her.