I d apreciate everyone's opinions and I am taking them all into considerations. But there were a few jumping to conclusions... I am not controlling, in fact not in any way other than this porn and everything. It was him with the shower situation and ever since that way (in the beginning of the relationship) he understands my point of view. I was just asking if there is something wrong with me... As I said he understands and actually has begunto agree. As far as the other situation, we are almost back to normal already. I am not much of a drinker hence the night and Have agreed that it's not for me. And nothing like this has ever happened before and he has never had reason not to trust me before. I so feel like I'm kind of being judged as a whore or something and I absolutely am not. I do believe from the bottom of my heart in spending your life with one special person. And I also believe that's him. If anything this proves it because we've given it time and sat down and talked and he understands, in fact maybe more than I. As I said I don't drink often and he does... But as I said I still do appreciate all the input and advice and would love to coninue receiving anything anyone has to say. It's because of this chatting that I had the nerve to sit and talk to him and save our relationship to begin with... Thank you all so much!!

I am happy things worked out.:-)

I am sorry if you thought people was calling you a whore but I think you misunderstood or maybe I should go back and read but I know the members that answered this thread isn't disrespectful. Maybe harsh but again not disrespectful.

You got label as controlling because of the porn and masterbating issues(which masterbating is totally nature) along with your reaction towards this issue. But I think your against from the whole shower incident and I would've been disappointed to but I would've discuss it as well. That's all!

I am glad glad you was able to work things out and I hope your relationship continue to grow and I think you should be a little more open and compromising and not blow up to fast.xxxx

So he has permission to masturbate??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by talaniman

So he has permission to masturbate????

---

Nope, still not quite comfortable with that yet. But he's not complaining and I'm trying to work on my own issues as well!

Not complaining to you anyway!!

Not complaining, because he just learns how to hide it.

That is part of how masturbation can work ;) I don't know every time my partner masterbates, but I would be hurt if he felt he had to hide it from me.

I commend you for working on your relationship. I am happy that he is willing to handle your insecurities as many would not. Good luck to you, but please address your issues with masturbation before your children become teenagers, as they WILL masterbate and it won't be appropriate for you to make them feel shameful of it, as you do with your partner.

First, I understand what it's like to get blacked out drunk and say things you clearly don't mean. In my opinion, I believe alcohol stirs up certain emotions and the junk that comes out of our mouths can be just that. I think everyone can say that they've said something or done something that they clearly would not do when they are sober (why do you think the phrase "beer-goggles" got generated). I think your man will come around and trust you again being that you have 4.5 years under your belt. He'd be a fool to rate 4.5 years on one drunken night.

With that being said:
Access to naughty websites is readily available at the click of a mouse nowadays. Although, it may be hard for you to accept it, your man is going to look at porn. How often he will look at it, is the question. He may dive in once a week, month, or quarter, but he's going to dive in (a kleenex box next to the computer is a sure sign). All he has to do is erase the Internet History. So you can do one or two things, either accept it or don’t have a relationship with a man (unless he's really Christian or something). Because he will take a sample every now and then (whether at your home computer or elsewhere). Shaking your finger at him and saying "No you can't look at porn" is like telling a little boy in a room full of legoes that he can't play. You can't shut off human attraction, so he can still fantasize about doing these things without actually watching porn. It could be with you or a pretty bartender he glanced at the other night, who knows. We can't read minds, but I would be very skeptical if my boyfriend said "I've never fantasized about being with another woman sexually, I only think about you."
If your man has ever said this to you, and you believed him, saying you're naïve is clearly an understatement. There's grit and passion with porn videos, just like there is with a football game; he isn't any less attracted to you when he watches them. It's just something quick and naughty and perhaps the things he watches are dirty deeds that you won't do with him. This isn't meant to offend you by any means. If you accept that he may watch porn once in awhile, then you can embrace it. Then you can eventually find adult videos that you really like and can start a his and her collection. It's also a great way to get closer to your man, which from reading your other b logs is clearly what you need. If he sees how much you enjoy it or that your loosening up a bit, it will probably really turn him on. He'll interpret it as a sign of confidence, and make you feel real sexy if you dive into one together. Baby steps though. If hardcore makes you uncomfortable try watching a softcore (like the ones on Cinemax) You won't see any vag, penis, or jiz with softcore just nice tan bodies and breasts; there's also a story with softcore if that would help you fantasize. Hee hee hee, now if you'll excuse me...