Ask Me Help Desk - Why is my ex treating me like this?

Quote:

Originally Posted by I wish

You should not feel that way at all. It's NOT your fault. You can't force love onto someone.

Cheer up. You seem like a really nice girl and you don't deserve to be with a guy who talks like that. You deserve better!

First of all I wanted to say thank you all for taking the time to answer my problem, I really appreciate all your help and advice.

I know its wrong but it feels like "he has won" even though its not a game, he probably thinks it is knowing him. Im 5 foot 10 and weigh 8 stone at the mo, I'm not eating or sleeping while this guy puts it about with this woman. I try hard not to think of them on there little "trip" without wanting to rip his head off if I'm honest. I feel so used and hurt, like they are both laughing at my behind my back, I just want to die so the pain is over for good

It is very clear that this person likes (or enjoys) you, but does not -- at this point -- LOVE you.

Simply put: If you love someone, yopu do not merely WANT them -- you are also afraid to lose them out of your life.

YOU have to decide whether you can accept the terms of the relationship he has designed, in which he has access to your company, but is uncommitted to you in any meaningfull fashion. Obviously, you want more. You have to decide if getting-what-you-are-getting is ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LIVE WITH. Be honest with him, tell hime you want more commttment. IN HIS ACTIONS AND ATTITUDE. Perhaps he cannot give you that.

This has happened to me. I love a woman very deeply. She says she loves me, and tells me I am very important to her. However, she does not BEHAVE as if I am VERY important to her.

This is KEY. Mere words are not enough -- ACTIONS must reflect the sentiments expressed in the words, or the sentiments expressed in the words are not truly THERE, in any meaningfull sense.

Speaking for mysel, I have told her that I love her, and always will, but that I need more from her (actions) than I am getting, and have (after many months of a fun and meaningfull, but NOT emotionally satisfying) time removed myself from her life. I have walked away, and she knows where to reach me if she wants to make a change in the terms of our relationship.

The key is deciding whether what you are getting is so far short of what you NEED, that you are willing to risk losing what you have.

Good Luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WHYME99

we are both in our late 20's I forgot to mention, I do love the guy but feel used alot of the time, I think he tells me what I want to hear. My friends have tried playing match maker with no avail, they say to him that he needs to talk to me as im thinking of moving abroad and hey presto I hear nothing from him ???

He said that im his soul mate and that he loves me so much but his actions dont match upto his words,

He has conflicting feelings. More than likely he's telling you the truth when he says he loves you and all that stuff, but he probably thinks it ain't right in one way or another. If he really didn't want you, he wouldn't say anything.

Forget what he says, and disappear from his life.

His actions say if you concede to his wishes he may give you time, but for now, he has better things to do. His words are meant to confuse you and keep you miserable, worrying about him and what he is doing.

Trust me, when I say cutting all contact with him, and not listening to another of his BS player comments, will not only let you get over the false hope, guilt that really is not yours, but the misery, and confusion your in.

Then you can see the better options, and opportunities, that are out there for you to be really happy with yourself, and leave loser boy where he belongs, in your past.

Don't let him train you to accept his disrespect, and bad behavior.

You should definitely read this:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...123862-29.html

It cannot be said any better.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Who cares if he's conflicted? Run for your life.

Well, let's see why she'd care

Quote:

Originally Posted by WHYME99

I just dont know what to do, I love the guy to bits

Any problem's possible to solve when you know what the problem is.

Athanku.