Is this considered cheating or not?
Here’s what I know, because this is what he told me. In May, my BF began having an emotional affair with a co-worker who is married with 2 kids. In July out of the blue, at least for me, we broke up for three weeks. He moved out and immediately began seeing her. He said 5-6 times and they would meet for 20 minutes at a park and talk, hug and kiss nothing more (we are in our late 30’s here).
He moved back in and said he wanted to work things out and we talked through our issues, but he never said anything about a major one. Another girl! We were back together for only three weeks when I was home and he was out having a beer. I was on the computer and on one screen his face book was up, as I sat there a REAL TIME chat came up (he was on his mobile face book at the bar). He said to her “I miss you so much it hurts” and she then responded “My heart is literally aching, I can’t stop thinking of you”.
I almost threw up. I had no idea. I confronted him and he said he just is not in love with me like he wants to be and he left. I feel like an utter loser. We are in the difficult move out process and I am so emotional and angry. He on the other hand is calm and trying to be “honest” and saying I am awesome, but he just isn’t in love with me and he is sorry he did this. I don’t know how to pick up the pieces, especially because I feel like an emotional wreck and a fool. And I am in shock that after 3 years, he could be the type of man to do this. His reasoning is that it was a bad thing BUT he couldn’t help his feelings for her and if he had feelings for her, he couldn’t be in love with me.
He is really doing a good job of painting himself as the good guy who did a slightly bad thing to everyone and I feel what he did was a total affair. He pursued, they were physical, he continued to pursue. That is an affair. He says because they were not physical allegedly when we were together, that it was not an affair. Who is right? And How to move on with all of this pain.. because now I just feel like a loser.
Ex cheats- I am miserable- He is happy
My BF of 3 years and I broke up in mid July for 3 weeks. We lived together and he moved out and stayed with a friend. During that time my mother died and he came with me for 6 days to handle everything, we spoke about our issues (I thought) and reconciled. Fast forward 3 weeks later and I am at home and Facebook is up, I think it is my account and a chat comes up form him saying "I miss the hell out of you right now". I thought it was for me. Then the response from a married with kids coworker comes up (she knows me) saying "My heart is literally aching. Can't stop thinking about you."
I wait until the next day.. hearing all of his morning I love yous- then call him and tell him. I was beside myself and told him he had to move out immediately. He said he loves me but is not in love with me and they did nothing physical when we were together and only kissed and hugged during the 3 weeks we were broken up. That their flirting lead to something more and they started hanging out in June secretly. I cried and yelled during the breakup and now feel like a fool. I wish I had handled it with dignity and grace.
It has been 3 weeks and I have been in NO Contact for 2. He has texted me a few times regarding stupid house stuff and sent me a letter last Wednesday that he will always remember the good times, he doesn't understand why I want nothing to do with him and he is sorry for the unfortunate events. I did not respond. I am in deep pain and per his facebook- he has found a new amazing place to live and he is "waiting, hoping, ready, wondering" whatever that means. I have been lied to and he appears so incredibly happy. Has anyone been through this?
And in his letter he asked for a lamp he left back. I did not respond, am I wrong for not getting it back to him? He owes me $$, but never brought that up.