I see both sides to this slapshot, you did provide a lot of points and I agree with them. Personally I feel as if the relationship was started with someone being friends with their ex, then sure I can understand them still being friends. But now, if it was a bad relationship(physical or emotional abuse) and then all of sudden they start talking and being secretive, that's a red flag to me.

Update here:

Well things got better... Right before they got worse. Went to her. Apologized for going through her things. Made love. Proposed marriage.

In bed we were talking of fantasies. She grabbed her cell phone and texted a younger man that she had indeed been intimate with. The younger man, who is in a committed relationship, texted back all kinds of sexual comments.

The next day Susan was again in the shower and this fellow started texting. I intercepted and let him know that it wasn't Susan that he was speaking with. He said that he couldn't believe that I knew of him and wasn't upset. What he didn't know was that I was indeed heart broken over the situation. He suggested a threesome. I told him that I loved Susan too much to do that.

I held it together just long enough to find out all of the dirty details, the parties involved. Including the man's address and his Wife's email address. Then I lost my stuff. I rattled Susan and Nick's cages so hard that they couldn't see straight. I emailed the guys wife too.

I don't really care if it's wrong to snoop or not. If the feelings there. Do it. I caught her in sooo many lies it wasn't even funny. What would life be like if I had married this lady based on her word and supposedly truthfulness.

I went through phone records, court papers, email accounts, Myspace, Facebook and EVEN found a match.com ad. She even has a separate email address for her dating sites. I was disgusted when I found out that she calls herself cougar@#$ in her ad profile. We all know what a cougar is right?

Sad thing is she is 43. A 26 year old man will get her nothing but lonely. Cougars live lonely and die lonely in nature.


Too boot she has Alcohol related convictions.

In my opinion. If the feeling is there and things don't add up the way they are supposed to be... SNOOP with a vengeance. I mean how else can you find out all of the important things that they dang sure won't tell you. If they are clean then hey awesome no harm done, but if they aren't... job well done. Just saved yourself lots of misery.

If the trust is gone... walk away. In snooping you only let yourself down, trust your instincts and walk away.


Glad you didn't end up unhappy (er)

Best of Luck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Stay out of relationships until you deal with your issues, as how can every relationship you have had, ended in cheating?

Something is wrong here, and you really need to figure it out, before you poison another one.

Yes the problem I think, is you. Sorry and not to be harsh, but do all your relationships start this fast, and furious, and end because you catch them at something??

3 in a row is not a coincidence.

---

Now Im thinking that the problem with me is not my insecurity but my choice of women and the way, like you said, I go too fast and furious into relationships.

Baywatch theme tune


Instinct is stronger than reason
It's just human nature to me
Don't you worry it's gonna be alright!

Wow, these lady is a first class b*tch. She puts the "ho" in homewrecker

Gdubyadubya disagrees: too many people feel that its "their insecutities" take time to find out. The stakes are too high not to know for sure.

What? Why are you disagreeing with me?

Because. Well in this circumstance the consequences of wrongness outweighed any other consideration.

If I had married this lady based on her word I would have a lifetime of misery ahead of me.

If I had followed my instincts and walked away without knowing for sure then there was the potential for my "insecurities" to have come in the way of true love.

Now that my insecurities were justified I can move on with great confidence. I now KNOW that I was correct in thinking. I don't have to second guess forever.

Ive read in this forum too many people in battle with themselves over insecurities. Don't let a crazy lover fool you into believing that the problem is with you. Look for yourself and make an exact informed decision.

Its knowing vs not knowing.

I agreed with you in previous posts. When I was self doubting and self blaming. Now all that is gone. Its not me. Im not the crazy insecure boyfriend. All is known and Im justified.

Closure... true absolute closer is so much worth the snooping. It so much beats a life long issue with misery, divorce, child support, lawyer fees, psycholigist visits and so on and so forth.

Do what you want, I think that suspicion won't help any relationship your in 'I'm a life long snooper from here on out'.. well I think you have a lot of misery to look forward to but that's my opinion and for your information a reddie is given for factually incorrect statements, not a difference of opinion. If you read the rules you'd see that.

Ah no worries my friend. Thanks for all of your considerations. Remember all is fair in love and war.

In relationships there are way too many variables to say that one thing is always right or wrong.

Anyway thanks again.

I'm sorry but I think she is cheating on you because your right if she has something to hide then you should be sucpicious... and my boyfriend did the same thing and it turned out that he was cheating on me..