Originally Posted by
Stringer
I agree with Starbuck, time is the lifeline. Our hearts and minds are marvelous things, they mend, but it takes time.
The steps that you take now to get where you want to be aren't always easy. But as time passes and you look back your emotions will have cleared away and you will be wiser and you will have learned a few things about yourself. You will find that you are also stronger than you thought you were.
Really loving someone is not an easy task. You have to open up, drop your defenses and trust. After someone has betrayed that trust and love you are shattered.
I was married for 18 years to a woman that I adored and we had two children. Believe it or not, over the last two years of that marriage she cheated many times, she left, I took her back, she left, I took her back....too many times.
She was gorgeous and she always needed confirmation that she was, I thought I gave it to her....she found it outside our marriage. Call me a fool, I had my reasons, I came from a broken family AND I did not want my children to have to experience what I went through.
The day that I told her that she could not come home anymore she went hysterical. "It is me, I am 'sick' emotionally, you are a good husband and a good father...what is wrong with me?" It was one of the most difficult days of my life but the dye was cast, no turning back. In three days, she was set up with the same guy, 600 miles away in Dallas, Texas.......
I will leave you with something that I was told by a good friend at that time: When someone decides to leave you (or cheats) they have prepared themselves emotionally for it, justified it in their own minds, and probably even set a time table. You take it between the eyes, and then you have to deal with it. You do, you work yourself through it (and you will also). And you get "better" and you move forward with your life. But there is some justice my friend, almost always the person who made the decision to cheat or leave WILL at some point have much more to deal with over the years; guilt. And a very important question; "did I make the right decision?"...and that will bug them continually. Every time that she/he has an argument with the current guy she will be thinking about this for a long time to come.
You see, you won't be asking yourself that question. You were not the cheater and you have already cleansed yourself of all those emotions.
I wish you good luck, I know that you will be fine. Sorry this was longer than I intended it to be.
Stringer