Her asking about you doesn't mean that she wants you back but can simply means that she ask about you because she just wants to know how your doing.

Sometimes when you do someone wrong no matter what you say can make that person overcome what you did and it's almost like reopening a wound and I pretty sure you messed her up and damage her trust for the next guy.

The only you can do at this point is learn from it and don't repeat the same misery for the next person in your life. It's not uncommon to feel the way you especiallly since you was in the wrong. Guilt is eating you up inside but you have to deal with it because you made the bed and have to deal with it. The curtains are closed. So move past it and don't, I mean don't, repeat the same mistake in future and value a good woman when you have one because believe it or not but we are a dime a dozen and regardless at what you throw at us we stay strong.

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Originally Posted by saynotosake

I really can’t get her off my mind. I want to speak/see/touch her so badly. I had no right to walk out on her the way I did after what I had done and I have no right trying to get back into her life now as I've left it for so long. I honestly don’t know if it’s her or just her forgiveness I’m needing. This isn’t getting better with time :(

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See this is what happens when you cheat. I'm glad to hear that you are understanding how badly you hurt her, but any apology has to be from the heart, and with absolutely no expectations at all... period! You burned that bridge. You can, and hopefully you have learned from what you did to her. You don't play with the hearts of people. We carry these things onto the next relationship, and you carved your mark on the slate of her relationship history. Please don't apologise if it is just for you, and to make you not feel like such a jerk. If you can do it just for her, and you've put some honest thought into it?. then that's great. Please learn from this, and know that a cheater is not good material for an honest and respectful relationship.

Just out of curiosity, is she able to get a hold of you if she wanted to? It seems like you want to apologize with the hopes of getting back together with her. I think any actual contact with you should be her choice. The card seems like a good idea. You may not be able to express everything you want to say, but you should be able to get a heartfelt apology in. Then leave it up to her. If she wants further contact with you she has the choice. If not, let her go on with her life.
It is possible to rebuild a relationship after cheating has happened. But since she was the one that was cheated on, it has to be her decision if there is a chance for any kind of reconciliation

I guess she could get my details from someone back home, if she really wanted to. I don't want her back.. I can't see how we'd ever get over this and far too much time has passed. I just want to know that she is happy. Sending her a card just seems a bit cheeky? Not sure why.

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Originally Posted by saynotosake

I guess she could get my details from someone back home, if she really wanted to. I dont want her back.. I can't see how we'd ever get over this and far too much time has passed. I just want to know that she is happy. Sending her a card just seems a bit cheeky? not sure why.

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You need to leave her alone. You've done enough emotional damage as it is. If you come in contact with her now, it would just re-open the wounds.

Grow from the situation, but at the same time, step away from it.

Good luck, I hope you've learned your lesson.

You have already done enough damage, why make it worse. Just let her deal with it her way, you can do that can't you? Do you really think she will be happy hearing from you, since its too little to late to make a difference?

This apology is for your own ego, because if it was for her, you'd leave her alone to heal.

Why does it feel as though I'm fully in love with this woman still?

I almost called her tonight but I could only bring myself to dial half the number. I came online and have just erased a long email I was about to send her.

I was in a bar the other week and she strolled in with her new man. When she saw me she left crying. I felt her watching me but could not bring myself to look at her (I just stole a quick glimpse) I felt sick and have done ever since, I can't eat properly.

I can't commit to another woman because I see her as my wife. I have been more faithful to this girl since we have been apart than I was when I was with her. Am I crazy? I love her, it won't go away.

It's going to take some time to get over her. I know it hurts a lot and you feel lost and alone but trust me when I say it will get better! I'm going through he same kind of thing and it will get easier. Be strong, and good luck!

I feel for you & her. People do make mistakes I've made my share and won't past judgment but she obviously isn't over you & her seeing you and being overwhelmed by you shows you she still has a lot of feelings and isn't over this as well.

I remember when my ex told me he cheated on me I left him and time went by & all I wanted to hear was how he regretted it and how he missed me. I felt so low and so used. I tried to move on and I did down the line but for me personally just knowing that he didn't care to call to see how I was or tell me he regretted everything, it hurt me more then anything.

Even if she did manage to take you back she will always have that in her mind... contacting her now would open Pandora's box.. BUUT it might also heal her in some ways.. tough one.

Still miss her.

Why you reject her request? Listen to your heart, it is OK to try again sometimes! Time can heal people, and change people. You say you don't want her back, but don't you think you do?

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Originally Posted by dynocompe

why you reject her request? Listen to your heart, it is ok to try again sometimes! Time can heal people, and change people. You say you dont want her back, but dont you think you do?

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I rejected it because I'm selfish, she is emotionally dangerous for me because to me she is the one and always will be.

Good call, as when your really ready, that will be soon enough. That's progress, even if you can't see it, that you know yourself well enough to do the right thing for yourself.

BRAVO!!

I know I made the right choice but feel as though ill be carrying this guilt around with me forever.

Arggghhh

You'll get over yourself.

Talaniman Rule - Only a fool sits on his own pity pot.

Talaniman Rule - Avoid sitting on the pity pot, or you will surely drown in your own shat!