Quote:

---

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

I'd say let her go until she can prove to you she deserves your trust again.

---

It's the 'until' in this sentence that made me think you were telling her to play games. If she decides to leave her girlfriend then she needs to do that for good. Not 'until' anything.

But I don't want to leave.. or do I feel like that because I'm just comfortable in this relationship. What do I say to her with out it causing a big fight to make sure that she isn't talking to her ex anymore

In my opinion I would just simply ask her if she was still seeing her ex girlfriend

If she starts to push it aside and say that it's in the past just tell her no

Tell her you want to know the truth.

Tell her it's to make you a little more comfortable

Is it bad to be pesty in a relationship because I am kind of sort of pesty and I don't no how to chill out sometimes

What pesty mean? Don't llet your girlfriend make you feel like you're the crazy one here,you have every right to ask her a question and get an honest answer

It is and it isn't good to be pesty but if your pesty because your worried then its okay just not OVERLY pesty. And If you feel yourself getting to worked up then just back off and take a couple deep breaths and then try to talk again.

You already asked about this same thing in another thread. The answers will be the same. You don't trust her, with good reason. She doesn't listen to your concerns. Unless she's willing to see a counselor and work this issue out with you, you should bail. Seriously. I know it seems like she's the love of your life, but trust me, she's not.

All right, so I have to thank you all... I didn't break up with her but I sat her down and had a serious talk.. about "the cheat" she started to cry and said"babe i told you i was stupid and i ed up i can't tell you why i did it cause idk but i regret it. I guess i was at the point where i would do anything to get my best friend back, then i realized your more important to me than anybody else." she also told me that she doesn't talk to her anymore and that I don't have to worry. She doesn't need someone like that in her life. So yeah I'm really happy and I had to just stop by and let you guys know that!

Glad it all worked out for you. :D

So, today my girlfriend got a text message from her ex girlfriend that she cheated on me with, she says she hasn't talked or seen her and to just ignore the text. But then why would she of text her. Though she was just asking where something was.. it still made me mad and upset and confused. What do I do to calm down, and should I believe her? That she isn't talking to her.

Hey,

As I have said before I was in pretty much the same situation as yourself.

This is going to keep happening. And you know why?

Because the trust is gone in your relationship. Your girlfriend can cry and say she's sorry, but until she actively starts to work with you to rebuild the trust it's going to deliver the same blow.

Hurt, confused, sad.

So should you believe her, only you can answer that one.

Can you?

I wouldn't but that is just me I completely agree with neverme.

The trust was shattered and she needs to work to help build that trust back up and if she doesn't want to then, in my opinion, she isn't worth it.

She read this the other day and got real mad at me saying I made her look like a scum bag and told me to delete it. But for the past few days she acted like nothing happened.

Well you can't delete posts.

Tell her you told the truth as you saw it, how she was perceived in the eyes of the other people is what she didn't like.

Truth hurts.

Cowards cheat.

If you really love her you can give her one more chance but stay on guard talk to her and find out what made her mad at you you look like a nice girl she would be dumb to lose you and if she does in again mabe you should not be gay you might just have better luck there's a guy out there who will treat you right get a country boy.

Staying on guard, might seem like I'm a little jealous of this other girl, and I'm far from jealous of that "other grimmy cheating *****" But I do try and find out just so I no.. So I could spare my own feelings on what's about to come. Thing is it just gets me so mad and I hate being mad.

Threads merged

My girlfriend and I have not had sex in a year and three months. We have been together for two years six months. I ask her why, and she tells me because she's not in the mood, or that she doesn't enjoy sex. Last person she had sex with was her ex girlfriend, when she cheated on me that once.
A. Does that have anything to do with it?
B. Why do you think she won't have sex with me?
C. How do I handle this? (it hurts)
D. Do I just give up on the fact I'll never get it?

You need to have a definitive talk with your GF.

Relationships are about reciprocity and your needs in the relationship are being ignored or denied.

Does she want to be in a relationship or just be friends? Why doesn't she enjoy sex? Talk to her - don't be angry or accusative, just say that you'd like to know so that you can make a decision about what to do.

I suspect she would prefer to be friends, and I also suspect that she may prefer girls, from what you've said. But only she can confirm this for you.

Well. I am a girl. So that would work out.
I have had a talk with her and she tells me she's not a sexual person and if I don't like it leave. And about the friend thing, she tells me all the time that she loves me and wants to be with me. Its just weird.

Maybe she is cheating again? Maybe it was not one time. She is even daring you to leave if you do not like it.

I would normally say counseling, but I do not know. Are you up for it.

It sounds like this is an on going problem. Sex between partners who loves each other, now I understand that sex is not the most important part of the relationship but in your case it sounds like there is no reason for this. Plus you said she has cheated on you before.

Are you happy in this relationship? She tells you she loves you but you can leave if you want. Sounds messed up.

I am glad you came here to ask the question.

Is there any other underlying issues that could possibly causing this. How were you two sexual at the beginning? Was she always like this?

Will try to answer better, whenever your able to give more info.

Joe