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-   -   Need urgent review and a good suggestion ! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=302385)

  • Jan 14, 2009, 09:31 PM
    juhi2011

    Thanks guys, on all of the suggestions given above, one common thing I found is that "talk to her parents". And I suggested the same to her. She had talked to her parents and talks are still going on... but result is ineffective as parents are arguing on the fact that they don't see any problem in the boy. He is well mannered and well behaved with rest of the family members and are actually not willing to break the association. There was a lot of commotion in the house after the talk and as I said earlier now the parents are heart broken... what next do you people suggest. If you want any details about the boy or anything as such I can provide you with..
  • Jan 14, 2009, 09:50 PM
    ImTotallyLost

    Look... I am from an indian family and while my parents aren't into all this arranged marriage thing I have relatives and I have seen a lot happening in the family...

    Mostly, the philosophy is to build love along with the relationship - that's why the parents will not buy into the "but I don't love him" argument. But, unless the parents are really narrow-minded, they will understand if she says that the boy treats her in a bad way. If this is before marriage, then just imagine how it'll be after the marriage.

    If she's really having a hard time with her parents, she could use arguments like "look, cancelling a marriage now seems bad, but think of how worse it'll be to get a divorce, because i know this isn't going to work".

    And a huge red-flag is if he has violent/passive-agressive tendencies. In which case she shouldn't even think of moving forward. I have really bad stories in the family where a lot of psychological terror and people using their kids as means to annoy their partner...

    Anyway, if she needs some ammo, she should tell her parents to put everything in perspective. Calling the wedding off now is much less heart breaking than getting a divorce down the road, specially because she most likely will be having kids by then.

    And tell her to forget this friend of hers right now. It won't help her at all right now. She needs to focus on stopping the wedding.
  • Jan 19, 2009, 10:38 PM
    juhi2011

    By gods grace and your valuable suggestions, the engagement of my friend is broken and her parents have agreed on the matter as they want to see their daughter happy.. Thanks to all from my side for spending your valuable time on the post and taking it seriously...
  • Nov 8, 2009, 07:59 PM
    lea11173
    Tell your friend to talk to her parents about her concerns. I am sure your happiness is more important than your fiancee's family or money. In all cultures parents want their children to be happy.

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