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-   -   Do you agree "Best revenage on the ex is to live well" ? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=297917)

  • Jan 16, 2009, 06:38 PM
    teastalk

    How can he still love her yet end the relationship? That just doesn't make any sense. The guy should try to compromise and discuss the problems in the relationship with the girl and vice versa!
  • Jan 16, 2009, 06:40 PM
    nike 1
    Why was it best to end the relationship?
  • Jan 17, 2009, 05:58 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    Do ex b/f ever miss or think about their ex g/f ?
    Yes, all the time, and after a while every now and then.
    Quote:

    How can he still love her yet end the relationship? That just doesn't make any sense.
    Sometimes exes don't feel the same, or they don't love their partners as much, not enough to stay together any way.
    Quote:

    The guy should try to compromise and discuss the problems in the relationship with the girl and vice versa!
    Thats great if he wants to stay, but man or woman, doesn't matter, when feelings change its just time to let go, and move on with life. You'll know better when you are the one who's feelings change, and want out.

    Quote:

    Why was it best to end the relationship?
    When feelings change its best to move on, and let go, or would you rather live a lie??
  • Jan 25, 2009, 06:06 PM
    moveon
    Is it harder to move on in a situation like this ?
    If two people are very much in love, they were together for 6 - 7 years. He had to end the relatsionhip because of some unresolved circumstances which involve family backgroud, etc. Even after the breakup and n/c, still have very strong feeling for each other and still very much in love. I'm finding it very hard to move on knowing that he still love me, we have to be apart not because he cheated on me nor going for another woman, but we are kind of forced to end it. At this moment I still hanging onto to hope. In a situation like this, is it hard for both party to move on ?
  • Jan 25, 2009, 06:30 PM
    Romefalls19

    The only thing I can say, without knowing the reasons, is to give it time
  • Jan 25, 2009, 06:32 PM
    ImTotallyLost

    Well, I think this will be as hard as you guys let it be.

    Can you give more details? Sometimes it is possible that you still love him and he doesn't. How can you be so sure he still loves you?
  • Jan 25, 2009, 07:13 PM
    talaniman

    Your threads were merged to stop the confusion about your story.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:34 PM
    moveon
    Is he playing games with me ?
    My ex broke up with me almost 4 months ago. We had no contact since. I thought I’m kind of over this breakup. Couple weeks ago, I broke n/c by sending him a text message, I didn’t expect that he would reply as he didn’t reply to my last text message in December. To my surprise, he replied. I was really happy that he did, at least I know that he’s not ignoring me. So last week, I was thinking about him again, so I thought that I gave him a call, we talked for about 45 min since our breakup, just catching up, nothing about getting back. The conversation went well, and I ended the phone call and said that will talk next time and he said OK. I can tell by our conversation, he still care for me very much. On this past weekend, I sent him a quick text message just to say hello, he didn’t respond, so I phoned him, he didn’t answer, I left a brief message in his voice mail saying that ‘no sure if you receive my text message, give me a call if you want to, if you don’t want to call me back, I understand”. All day, I heard nothing from him, I was kind of disappointed. Later on in the evening, I called him again, but his phone forwarded to voice mail. Then I checked my email and saw a email from him saying that his phone not working and will call me sometime. I was fine with that, I thought at least he has the courtesy to let me know the reason for not responding.
    Well, it was been 3 days now, he still hasn’t call me. I guess he probably won’t call, and I guess what he said in his email was just an excuse to make me feel better?? I’m pretty upset about that. Maybe I’m thinking too much and too sensitive? I would rather he ignore me than sent me that email and lie to me, cause that email sort of giving me false hope. If he has no intention to call me, why bother to send me that email ? I don’t understand. Is he playing game?
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:39 PM
    JoeCanada76

    Honestly sounds like your really pushy. Had no contact, then a little contact and then some more contact and then you kept calling him, texting him , etc...

    It sounds like this situation is your own doing. Is he playing games with you. I think that you should except the fact that your exes now and that he does not have to answer.

    Just because your having good conversation , etc... does not mean that he wants to be with you again. Does not mean he wants you to get obsessed either. Like texting, calling , etc...
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:48 PM
    neverme

    Exactly Jesushelper!

    This is why NC is so important. You get angry over things that are not worth getting angry over. You are not his girlfriend anymore. He doesn't ever have to contact you. You said on your message that if he didn't want to call back then you'd understand. Well take it as that then, if he doesn't call it's because he doesn't want to so just 'understand' and get over it.

    I recommend that you don't contact him, you're going backwards now. Exes need times to deal with the past, be angry and finally get over it. Only then can you two think of being friends.
  • Feb 11, 2009, 03:52 PM
    CrazyThumper
    Hi Moveon,

    It sounds like you had some time pass and you missed him which is natural. You figured you would reach out and see what type of response you got. Unfortunately/fortunately you felt good about your conversation with him, and it sparked old feelings. It's sort of like when you go NC and then break that NC - some say you start all over. Because of your positive feelings from your conversation you reached out again, in different formats hoping for similar results. I hate to sound mean, but him emailing you to tell you his phone is broke is a bunch of crap. I am sure he has your phone number, and could have called you back from anywhere. I don't feel he was giving you false hope at all- perhaps just being a nice guy, willing to talk to someone he used to love/cared for. You even said it yourself, there was no conversation of getting back together. And he may have realized very quickly after your txt and phone call "O boy.. maybe I should not have talked to her the other day, she is going t get mixed signals"... and wanted to stop the fire before it got fueled again.

    Be easy on yourself and try not to look too deeply into your conversation. If you feel you can talk to him once in awhile without gaining a false sense of hope, then go for it. If you are going to lose sleep over it though- I would suggest going back to NC.
    Thump
  • Feb 11, 2009, 04:31 PM
    Romefalls19

    Wow you like a pit bull with a bone, he talked to you one time and you basically assaulted his phone with calls and texts. He didn't reply to your text, so you call him a few times, knock it off! Just stay NC as you are only hurting yourself. There are no games being played on his end, you just read way too much into a phone call.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 07:33 AM
    talaniman

    I feel bad when I see someone who runs head first into a brick wall, and can't understand why they have a headache.

    You really do need to accept reality, and stop trying to force something that can only hurt you.

    Go back to NO CONTACT as soon as possible.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 07:37 AM
    artlady

    Its not about sharing that information,its for your own head.I am fine,I got through this,you did not destroy me.I am happy without you.If you are still wrapped up in revenge,than you are not living well,you are somewhere in the past.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 07:41 AM
    kctiger

    Personally, I think... actually, I don't think about my EX at ALL.

    That is "revenge" enough to me...
  • Feb 12, 2009, 09:09 AM
    JTS31708
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by moveon View Post
    I keep reading on this site about the NC thing...like u need to give your ex b/f time to miss you, and to give yourself time to heal.... I agree with that, but I;m curious, I actually don't really think that they miss you at all.... from the guys' perspective, do you ever think about your exes? Do guys move on faster ??

    I DEFINITELY think about my ex a lot but I know now just to give her time to see what she is missing and what she gave up on. And I think IMO most guys who fall in love take longer to move on.
  • Feb 12, 2009, 09:36 AM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by moveon View Post
    I always hear that "The best revenge ever on the Ex that dumped you is simply, LIVING WELL". Do you agree ? Any comments on this ?
    How can I let my ex know that I'm doing well without him if we're thousand miles apart ? Will he feel curious about me if I leave him in the dark and be silent so he cannot find out anything about me ?

    I always heard revenge is a dish best served coldly.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by moveon View Post
    ‘no sure if you receive my text message, give me a call if you want to, if you don’t want to call me back, I understand”.

    Oooo... that hurts to read. I love getting texts like that and then never responding. He's got all the cards now, don't give him that power.

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