Hey Grayfox,

First of all I don't think there's any reason to follow up with dates when you get back. She has said she just wants to be friends, and you know that this is the best of ideas really. So people don't go on dates with friends ergo no dates! :)

Also I think that the way that you start your realationship will bode to how your relationship will go. If it starts with drama it will most likely end with drama.

Another thing, I think that your putting your intense feelings from the relationship that your not long out of, on this new relationship. Naturally, we all do this, you are so used to treating the woman that you are cuddling, kissing, sleeping with etc in a certain way. I use the rule that if I start having these feelings for someone in the half the total time of my last relationship then I need to slow down and look at what's going on.

This is all just me opinion. It might not be applicable to you. Hope it helps :p

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I think that your putting your intense feelings from the relationship that your not long out of, on this new relationship... you are so used to treating the woman that you are cuddling, kissing, sleeping with etc in a certain way.

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I thought these were some good points to be aware of.

I also think that letting the emotional dust settle for a bit (a break is coming) then you'll get a better indication if its friends, or dates.

Whatever happens, don't push, attract.

Yea I especially agree about not pushing, but attracting. I mean, I feel like I will have a better grip on this whole thing after I have some time to go through break. For some reason right now I have some ridiculous obsession with females. I really do probably need to just chill out, slow down, and just be friends with this girl. She's honestly not really even my type anyway. I think, just because all of the incidents that happened fell in my lap the way they did I felt I wanted to make it right. However, I feel like id be sacrificing some things as well in turn. I will be wary, and try to control myself. I guess I just really don't like the new way she's acting around me, she's so distanced and cold. Its so weird to go from constantly smiling and flirting to having her see me and not see the same sparkle in her eyes that was there before. Do you think I contributed to her new attitude by bringing it up in the first place?

Would you have called this casual before you?

The relationship was pretty casual, yes. However, she was VERY flirtatious. I mean, I was once laying on her bed watching a move with another guy in the room and she was sitting in the opposite corner of the bed, and suddenly ended up laying next to me... like... to me it was more than obvious. These kinds of things continued for a while.

Maybe she was just attracted to and wanted something casual, you were on the rebound could've worked for both of you but now she doesn't want to be leading you on?

That's a possibility actually. I don't like to think that's how it is, but something tells me that it is quite possible she was initially just attracted to me and the idea of meeting someone new who was equally participating, and when the aura of someone new faded, it was like all that was left were our actions and the drama it caused. Bah, maybe I'm reading into this whole thing way too much. Perhaps I should just let everything take its course and not try to figure it out.

Maybe but that's easier said than done.

I'd say that it was less the drama, or any fault of yours, but more the fact that you became a friend. There's no way of losing yourself in a 'fling' if you know the person.

Then again, that may be it now and she may come back and have thought it over and decide that she wants to see you, but I'd leave the ball in her court.

If she's interested in something then women have this cunning way of making themselves available... I think she MAY get how this works!

Im starting to feel better about this whole thing I think. The other day she was still acting very distanced, basically polar opposite of the way she was no longer than 2 weeks ago. However, today she was very nice, smiled, gave me a few compliments. It was better, I studied in her room for a bit. However, there has been no real flirting or "static" between us. I think what bothers me the most is, I've noticed that girls seem to become very internal and distanced (some girls) after hook ups when the two stay friends. It seems like this exact thing happened to me last year with another girl on the floor I lived on (yea I know, I'm ridiculous, but it was only one time, we only kissed, and it was the first time I'd ever done that). Well, her and I had a very awkward relationship after that to say the least where it felt like there were some kind of hard feelings towards one-another for absolutely no reason. Its kind of the same here I guess. I can't place it. Any ideas?

I think that's what happens when people who have attraction tensions, get reserved, and more cautious. Don't be to forward, nor overly concerned or attentive. This is really a time for your own plan of activities, more so than chasing these particular females in a romantic way.

Or maybe she's on a different site trying to figure out what your thinking? :)

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Originally Posted by neverme

Or maybe she's on a different site trying to figure out what your thinking?? :)

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Lmaof, at this comment, and to be honest, I would be telling her to back off, and go slow, if she where interested in a guy in Grayfoxes situation. What a great point to bring up! :D

Thanks Talan :D

Haha, yea. I like knowing that I haven't really done anything to screw this relationship up. I plan on keeping it that way. Only one more day and I'm home free. We will both be very busy too, so, the month will come and go, and we shall see what kind of relationship we have when we return. I honestly am kind of hoping I don't have the desire to talk to her in that way when I get back. At the same time I'm worried about my ex girlfriend trying to get back in contact with me over break. She texted me yesterday wondering why I won't say hi to her in the hallways, calling me rude, hypocritical, etc. *sigh* I honestly am starting to dislike females.