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-   -   Odd situation... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=28583)

  • Jul 6, 2006, 10:32 AM
    Wildcat21
    Dude - REMEMBER MY NEW WORD!!

    BALANCE!!

    Give her time to miss you. You DEFINITELY sound like you're coming on too strong - too fast.

    Give her some space or this won't last long.

    Women need time to themselves - they need time to reflect. They need time to miss you. You're there al lthe time and YOU WILL LOWER HER INTEREST LEVEL.

    Women like a challenge - especially early on.

    Go do something else.

    Quit calling her all the time.

    Remember - this what YOU think. Women won't always tel lyou wha tthey think.
  • Jul 6, 2006, 10:38 AM
    jeffatl
    EASY bud. Ive only hung out with her the past 2 days really, and I do NOT call her all the time... not even close. Im trying to take this SLOW, she actually calls ME. I have work for the next 3 days, and she starts her new job tomorrow as well. Im making sure I take this at a SLOW pace, but have faith... Im using the things you guys taught me and just having fun, NO EXPECTATIONS!! Im not being clingy, calling her all the time, none of that. I actually have called her once, on the 4th to get directions to her place. Have faith in me Cat, Im going about this in a TOTALLY different way this time!
  • Jul 6, 2006, 11:29 AM
    Wildcat21
    Ok... just give it balance.

    I want to see you succeed man. I want you to do well. Sometimes we guys get caught up in it a forget.
  • Jul 6, 2006, 11:32 AM
    jeffatl
    Thanks! Ive learned a TON here from all of you, and I WILL use it!
  • Jul 8, 2006, 12:36 AM
    momincali
    Happy to hear you had your own little fireworks going off well after the 4th!:D
  • Jul 8, 2006, 10:55 AM
    jeffatl
    HAHAHAHAHA!! Thanks M3! Soooo funny!! We have been having a great time together so far. We both want to take things nice and slow, getting to know each other and what not. Neither of us like the whole "dating" thing, so we are just "more than friends" I guess. Im no longer dating the other gals, seems kind of pointless. Wildcat I figured I would tell you something that would make you PROUD. She wanted me to come hang out with her and her friends last night, but I told her "just have fun with your friends tonight, I will see you soon". She seemed a little bummed out, but sent me messages when she got home. =). It is kind of odd that one of her best friends doenst want me to hang out with her because she thinks "Im going to get hurt" but Im not really concerned with that right now. Her friend is a DRAMA QUEEN, and everyhting was pretty much explained. Right now, Im just having fun getting to know her, but if things keep going this well... who knows. I will keep you guys posted!
  • Jul 8, 2006, 01:04 PM
    Wildcat21
    Good for you Jeff!. you'll make her miss you - very important in the beginning - believe me. LESS IS MORE!! I always say that - less of you is more.

    Another situation - HER FRIENDS - make peace with her friends - go out of your way to be good around her friends - you don't have to like them - BUT, you don't want them to hate you because she WILL, most of the time, pick her friends over you. Make peace with this one friend - beleiv me. That friend could bring your relationship down - I've seen it so many times - the one frined who always bad mouths you that she beginings to believe it.
  • Jul 9, 2006, 01:42 AM
    jeffatl
    HA! I thought you would be proud! Im really trying to tak ea totally different approach to this one. I like her a lot, and I know she like me a lot, but there is no need to rush. Right now, Im just "mr. fun" I keep it light, poke fun at her a bit, and keep her guessing. Im good friends with her best friend, I guess that's why she doenst want me to get hurt. This is turning out VERY well so far, seriously... guys, take note of what these people say on dating... break ups... relatuonships, and whatever you ask. Make sure you USE this information because IT WORKS!! No matter how much you THINK you know... if you are on here asking for advice... you have MUCH more to go! Im by no means an expert, but Ive learned a TON over the past few months. Wow, you guys ROCK!
  • Jul 9, 2006, 10:37 AM
    Wildcat21
    That's great. Keep her guessing - I KNOW it sounds like games... but it isn't. You give her wha tshe wants craves. Women may say that wrong - but they all want mystery, self conficence I na guy, a guy who HAS other things he can do... etc.

    You with her everyday early on and she doesn't have time to think about you.
  • Jul 9, 2006, 11:04 AM
    valinors_sorrow
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jeffatl
    Im no longer dating the other gals, seems kind of pointless.

    While you are doing many many things well, I am curious why there is no dating of other girls? Its not like you are in a relationship or have implied exclusivity here. Just so you know, this can be a slippery slope where people "transition" kind of sort of automatically into a relationship at their end without the other person really being involved in that decision - which not good - so look in that mirror and make sure you aren't doing that, okay Jeff?
  • Jul 9, 2006, 11:00 PM
    jeffatl
    Ah! Good point, but Im sure Im not. Things with this girl just feel different to me... I guess its too hard to really explain. I don't really want to date the other girls because I want to see where this one goes with NO distractions elsewhere. I understand the whole "keeping my options open" thing, but its too hard for me to split time between girls and getting to know them... I guess Im just not made out for it. I had dinner at her place and met her dad tonight. Things went great, but seem like they are movign a bit fast... even for me. I guess the good thing is we won't be spending much time together next week because of her and I working. I like this new SLOW approach thing! It gives us time to KNOW each other well before getting into anything. Im happy as can be right now! This is the first girl Ive ever really gone after, and so far so good. Now, Im just trying to use everything Ive learned so I don't do anything STUPID. No rush... no need to! Just having fun!
  • Jul 10, 2006, 07:52 AM
    Wildcat21
    Good... keep it light and fun for a while - she'll love you for it. Love you for it. Less is more for now.
  • Jul 10, 2006, 05:06 PM
    Chery
    I'm confident that you know what to do, after all of our advice, and all the advice you've given others on this site... So... keep us posted when you have the time.

    Love, Mom2

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_17.gif
  • Jul 10, 2006, 07:35 PM
    jeffatl
    OK!! PROOF THIS STUFF WORKS GUYS!! I talked to her tongith, and she told me she really like me a lot, but Im "hard to read, and it makes her want to chase me in circles". I was amazed, but played it cool and just laughed!! WOW... Trust me guys, if I can do this... you can too! Just be fun, poke at them a bit, and don't me so available. I encourage her to hang out with her friends/family, and in turn she wants ME! It feels so freaking cool to have it down to an almost science now. It took time dating girls and what not to get it right, and to make it just come naturally... but it is now!! I owe you ALL a beer!!
  • Jul 20, 2006, 11:26 PM
    momincali
    Well I do, and I will take mine extra chilled!

    No Rush, what a concept? Glad to hear you're doing great!
  • Jul 20, 2006, 11:37 PM
    jeffatl
    M3!! Ive missed you!! :p

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