You're welcome. Things have a way of working themselves out. I wish you the best!

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Originally Posted by ZoeMarie

you're welcome. things have a way of working themselves out. I wish you the best!

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True... some things do have a way of working themselves out... but sometimes, things need a little push in the right direction... thanks again... peace :)

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

Haha... thanks... nice image... Hope I don't go deaf.. but its for a good cause anyway... so go for it.. lol

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Several years ago, I sent my photo to one of my online clients. She put it into her pocket and held on to it while she called a real-life counselor to make an appointment and then took my photo with her to each appointment. I musta really scared her...

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but she must want it too

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I think she does. It's up to you to pull that "want" out of her and to sit on her shoulder and cheer (softly) in HER ear.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Several years ago, I sent my photo to one of my online clients. She put it into her pocket and held on to it while she called a real-life counselor to make an appointment and then took my photo with her to each appointment. I musta really scared her...........


I think she does. It's up to you to pull that "want" out of her and to sit on her shoulder and cheer (softly) in HER ear.

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Haha.. that's funny... you must have made a huge impact on your online client's life... :)

I will help cheer her on as much as possible... but I think I'm a little too big to fit on her shoulder...

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

but I think I'm a little too big to fit on her shoulder...

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Use your imagination, man!!

Figure out ways to have fun with her and with this counseling thing. Tell her you are going to be on her shoulder and whispering cheers and happy thoughts in her ear. (I could sit on her other shoulder so she's not off balance.) Whisper some happy thoughts right then. Go to the library and to the reference department to ask about area counseling and/or psychiatrists. (At the library where I work, we have a big binder full of the county's social services information and helpful organizations.) Buy ice cream cones. For every lick, name something good that can happen to her and/or to you because of counseling and getting your lives back on track.

*lick* I will smile more.

*lick* I will be more relaxed.

*lick* I will sleep better.

etc.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Use your imagination, man!!!!!!

Figure out ways to have fun with her and with this counseling thing. Tell her you are going to be on her shoulder and whispering cheers and happy thoughts in her ear. (I could sit on her other shoulder so she's not off balance.) Whisper some happy thoughts right then. Go to the library and to the reference department to ask about area counseling and/or psychiatrists. (At the library where I work, we have a big binder full of the county's social services information and helpful organizations.) Buy ice cream cones. For every lick, name something good that can happen to her and/or to you because of counseling and getting your lives back on track.

*lick* I will smile more.

*lick* I will be more relaxed.

*lick* I will sleep better.

etc.

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Haha... I say again... you really are a WONDER! Lol! Remind me to invite you to the wedding if it happens... lol... good points there, and I will definitely use them... but she doesn't like Ice Cream... lol... but all good, I'll find something else she likes... lol... It's a good way to increase her self-esteem too if you think about it, and she has a very very low self-esteem to start with, so it all helps... thanks again.. man... I should fly her over to Chicago... lol... ;)

Go to a toy shop and buy a little superhero or stuffed animal that will fit on her shoulder. Tell her it is really you. Give it your name. Put it on her shoulder. Bounce it up and down on her shoulder and have it cheer and whisper things to her. When she feels down or hopeless and you're not with her, she will have her "mini-you" cheerleader thing to prop up on her shoulder and help her feel better.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Go to a toy shop and buy a little superhero or stuffed animal that will fit on her shoulder. Tell her it is really you. Give it your name. Put it on her shoulder. Bounce it up and down on her shoulder and have it cheer and whisper things to her. When she feels down or hopeless and you're not with her, she will have her "mini-you" cheerleader thing to prop up on her shoulder and help her feel better.

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Haha... that's a cute idea... she is 27... but that's cool... will give it a go... I'll get her a pink kitten, because she likes kittens, or I could get her a stuffed rex rabbit... because she thinks when I have a haircut, my hair is so short it feels like velvet.. which is the same feeling as the fur on a rex rabbit... lol... I'm thinking too much into it, but it's a great idea.. :)

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

all good, I'll find something else she likes

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How about each bite she and you take out of a cheeseburger or french fries (be sure they are McCain fries--are sold to many fast-food places--my younger son just started working for them). Or if you two are together for Thanksgiving, celebrate the holiday with thankful bites of turkey or dressing or pie and name off what you are thankful for.

Be positive!!

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How about each bite she and you take out of a cheeseburger or french fries (be sure they are McCain fries--are sold to many fast-food places--my younger son just started working for them). Or if you two are together for Thanksgiving, celebrate the holiday with thankful bites of turkey or dressing or pie and name off what you are thankful for.

Be positive!!!!!!!!!!

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Nice nice.. will do... lol... since she is a vegetarian and I'm a meat man... that's be kind of hard, but we both like fries from McDonalds... so that's possible. Lol... thanks for the suggestions... you are full of good ideas aren't u? Lol ;)

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

I'm thinking too much into it, but its a great idea.. :)

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No, you are FINALLY thinking positively and not just being a victim of her moods or reacting to her. You are beginning to set the pace for her to march to. YYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No, you are FINALLY thinking positively and not just being a victim of her moods or reacting to her. You are beginning to set the pace for her to march to. YYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!

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Haha... I see what you mean... Nice cheerleading by the way... always helpful... lol... thanks a lot... because honestly I was feeling quite down about things, and the situation seemed very hopeless, which is the reason for me wanting to call the whole thing off and then find out what to do... but you have given me hope... thanks so much :D

I say get off the ride man, if you can say to yourself sometimes I DO want to get off and sometimes I don't, that's enough to get off because I feel you should 100% always want to be with this person regardless of the situation.

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Originally Posted by LifeChangesMan

i say get off the ride man, if you can say to yourself sometimes i DO want to get off and sometimes i don't, that's enough to get off because i feel you should 100% always want to be with this person regardless of the situation.

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See, thing is I want to get off the emotional roller coaster... but not off her... she is a great girl and we get along so well together... we know for sure we are meant to be... but things ain't always the way you plan... but I love her enough to ride this roller coaster out... and eventually, it'll be smooth sailing... I ain't giving up...

Then I guess you got your answer without needing anyone on this site, funny huh?

Haha... tru tru.. talking about it helped.. but that WonderGirl... wow... she really is a Wonder... he gave me the confidence and the strength to realize what I want... :)

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Originally Posted by BlackVY

I was feeling quite down about things

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Do at least one silly thing a day with her or for her. Sing to her over the phone. Hide a short love or even just appreciation note somewhere not too obvious and where she will find it fairly soon, like... well... you can figure that part out. Call her and disguise your voice. Pretend you are from China or pretend you are Gandhi or pretend you are from Latvia and ask her if she's interested in "buying" something dumb, like an electric potato peeler or whatever.

Of course, you can't be "up" all the time, but be cleverly goofier than you probably are now. Also, though, be a good listener and let her talk and even vent, but don't try to solve her problems. And maybe those things are what she should bring up to the counselor, if she hasn't already.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Do at least one silly thing a day with her or for her. Sing to her over the phone. Hide a short love or even just appreciation note somewhere not too obvious and where she will find it fairly soon, like...well...you can figure that part out. Call her and disguise your voice. Pretend you are from China or pretend you are Gandhi or pretend you are from Latvia and ask her if she's interested in "buying" something dumb, like an electric potato peeler or whatever.

Of course, you can't be "up" all the time, but be cleverly goofier than you probably are now. Also, though, be a good listener and let her talk and even vent, but don't try to solve her problems. And maybe those things are what she should bring up to the counselor, if she hasn't already.

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Sounds good... I do try to have fun with her as much as possible, but when she is in a depressed mood, it makes things kind of hard... but I'll try not to give up. I do quite a few things for her, surprises and romatic stuff every now and then... and she does appreciate them... so we'll see how it goes...

I will have to do what you said... which is hard for me... to listen without trying to solve the problem... because that's what I always do... try to think logically and sort things out... so I have to try not to do that... and she can bring that stuff up with the counselor if she wants when she sees one...

Seems like maybe the relationship was getting old or stale and needed the sweetness factor to come into play, and the romantic edge... sounds you'll be fine you love her, she loves you, yada yada yada everyone's happy, weddings bells, cake, honeymoon, house, kids, family, this is how it usually goes right? Oh yeah, and they lived happily ever after! Best wishes to you my friend.

Go to a toy store or a craft shop and buy two smallish paint-by-number sets with paints and brush included. Set aside a time when the two of you do your painting together at the kitchen table or even on one of those big tables at Arby's or McDonald's when you go there to eat (you might even attract a crowd). Or work together on kids' sticker books, like a sticker book on endangered animals or birds or dogs. Or buy PlayDoh and sit at the kitchen table (properly protected) and make shapes and animals and people. Be goofy and like a kid again and have fun!