Ask Me Help Desk - My girl can't commit and breaks things off

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

If you both need help then get it as individuals, as that is the best way to deal with your own demons, and she has some for sure, that you can't help with.

Thats a fact, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you have issues she can't help you with.

You mention co-dependency, thats a good word, and great reason to leave her alone and let her get her own act together, while you do the same.

You think this wont get worse?? From what you have written, its already bad, and getting worse.

Getting back together, no matter the history, is not healthy for either of you.

I really want to part ways, its just so hard for me to gain the strength to do this.
Its bad and getting worse as you say, something inside me has always not allowed me to accept things for how they are and I fight to try again. I want to change this I just need the strength to do this. I'm scared to be by myself. I have no one, and this girl has been a friend/family/romance to me over the past few years. I want to let her go. How do I find the strength to?

Quote:

Originally Posted by pauly7

i have no one, and this girl has been a friend/family/romance to me over the past few years. i want to let her go. how do i find the strength to?

You have yourself!! That should be good enough. You don't need her to lean on as a crutch. It seems to me that you aren't content with yourself right now. Until you are, a relationship can never be fully functional.

Paul do not mistake.. harsh advice for cruel motives.

You need to learn to be strong on your own.
You don't need anyone else in this life to make you. Better or stronger

All you need is yourself.

That is what we are all trying to say to you.

Come on big boy.. do yourself a favor and get moven with your own life make friends and stop waisting your time on people that are no good for you

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Paul do not mistake.. harsh advice for cruel motives.

You need to learn to be strong on your own.
you dont need anyone eles in this life to make you. better or stronger

all you need is your self.

that is what we are all trying to say to you.

Come on big boy.. do your self a favor and get moven with your own life make friends and stop waisting your time on people that are no good for you

I have made a decision to have a talk this weekend, I will do my best to be strong, and explain this is what I want and I will do better off on my own. I do really care what happens to her from her but I will do my best to stand my ground. I don't know what ill do if she calls me in the future or realizes I'm serious this time about moving on. I think as of now this is what she wants, but she's wanted this in the past and has come back time and time again.

Thank you for all you advice~

Quote:

I really want to part ways, its just so hard for me to gain the strength to do this.

Not to be harsh, but the way I see it, you either do the right thing for yourself, and her, or drown in your own shat, both of you.

I know its hard, no doubt the hardest thing you have ever done, but the stakes are very high also, your life.

So decide between REWARD, or CONSEQUENCES. your choice.

You can give up on her... but you can NEVER give up on yourself. It will be hard, but life is too rewarding for those that can overcome this kind of challeng.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Not to be harsh, but the way I see it, you either do the right thing for yourself, and her, or drown in your own shat, both of you.

I know its hard, no doubt the hardest thing you have ever done, but the stakes are very high also, your life.

So decide between REWARD, or CONSEQUENCES. your choice.

Ive noticed that some guys have a hard time with women that do this back and forth game. But most guys tell them to go screw right off the rip when they play this game.

Why is this so hard for me when others would probabilly not even think twice about it?

Also that comment that says don't be someone's option when you make them a priority really seems to be my situtation. Ive been told this at times but then its taken back.

Rest assured, with the facts you have written, nothing I wrote will be taken back.

Now get off your a$$, and do something good for yourself.