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Take everything light. Make fun of her tease her. You'll disfuse this tension.
I think you takr TOO MUCH of what she says personally and let it bother you.
See some Steve McQueen movies. You got learn to be cool under fire. Learn to be CONFIDENT. Give her trouble.
I agree with everyone else, blue. She seems to be feeding you a lot of BS and I honestly don't think you deserve that. No one does. She's doing it because she knows she can and that you won't stick up for yourself or in a better word.. not take her crap. You got to know that mind games (thats what they are) are just another form of emotional abuse.. Even if it seems insignifigant anyone who tries to use someone to get there own way by fooling with their emotions is toying with emotional abuse.. I know because it was done to me. I recognize the signs. She's trying to purposely make you feel bad although you clearly have done nothing wrong. Its not right and I wish you luck with this.
Yep... she does it because you allow her to. She'll eventually leave you because she wants a guy who stands up for himself and doesn't take her crap. Next guy who comes along she will be gone.
YOU'RE TOO NICE TO HER. TOO NICE. Now being nice is OK most of the time. (I HATE THAT WORD NICE!! )
This minute going forward you are a new man... quit taking her crap. You got to change now.
I've seen this a million times and you keep losing to her tests.
Bottom line: YOU'RE WHIPPED TO HER AND SHE KNOWS IT. Time to change dude.
IF something bothers you - YOU LET HER KNOW ABOUT IT. If she gives you that bad feeling - let her know.
I always tell her wait a minute I don't like what you're saying and stop reading my mind. And she usually get upset and leaves the room when I stick up for myself. She says because I want to fight with her and she says I always blame her like its her fault. No way did I say that... every time I speak my mind she calls it a fight. Why does she do that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Sounds like she's flipping the blame to you and she IS very insecure and more than a little paranoid. Its about control and that's the bottom line!
I really think that you need to get up the courage and leave this girl- if you are having all these problems with her as you have been posting this is not a healthy relationship- get out before it gets too serious and you really get hurt.
Has she ever had a psychiatric evaluation? I mean, the mood swings or whatever they are that she has, sound more intense and off the wall to me than simple hormones. Even if a woman feels poorly because of a shift in hormones, in most cases she can still behave civilly and with maturity. I should know, as I've suffered from fairly severe PMS in the past.
Sweetie, she's calling it a fight or getting mad at you because she doesn't want you to stick up for yourself. Any other person male or female would respect you when you say "hey wait a second what do you mean by that"? And most 'normal" people in a loving relationship would sit there and talk about it and not get upset over something so petty like whos taking the garbage where....In a complete nut shell she's a control freak. She wants to have the control in these kinds of things. When she treats you like crap with the mind games and you don't say anything she feels good about herself and what she;s doing to you. Like kinda how when in school if you ever got picked on by someone and your parents always say well they just do it to make themselves feel better about themselves..its kinda like that. So when you keep quiet she feels like she has the control..when you do stick up for yourself she gets mad because you actually defended yourself. So when she calls it a "fight" she's trying to blame it on you.. and that's just not right. That's why she does it, blueQuote:
Originally Posted by blueiman
She shouldn't be picking fights ever. Yes there are things you will get in disagreemnts about but she really seems to push your buttons - unhealthy.
I agree with every answer you have. You must also remember that some people who do not feel good about themselves tend to take their "aggrivation" out on others and you are the bullseye.
She may be very insecure and to make her feel better about herself she takes her BS out on you. This way she feels more in control and therefore feels better about herself cause she know she can make you fell like crap!
YOU'RE BOTH DRIVING EACH OTHER ROUND THE TWIST! She finds you boring, irritating and you constantly try to please her and placate her, which in turn annoys her, you then feel slighted and upset and the cycle continues!
You are both clinging to some weird notion of a relationship where you can behave in a way that you would never normally in front of the "outside world". What do YOU want? When she flies off the handle, your instincts seem different to your actions. Your actions depend on HER, when they should depend on your own welfare. You both need to seriously relax, take time out, finish whatever - but you are poisoning each other. I sense some serious resentment on both sides. For whatever reason, you cannot move past this through communication = either sort that out or walk. Otherwise you are going out with archetypes of each other, doomed to be constantly disappointed at the "reality" of the person in front of you.
Finally face the behaviour- be aware of how you react, how your girlfriend reacts. This in itself will tell you if either of you really want each other.
That's pretty sad? You said sure, and she got angry? That's not right. Maybe she had a bad day or something. But just tell her that you said sure, so she shouldn't be angry with you.
This thread is over 2 years old, I don't think he is even on here anymore
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