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I still think about my ex too. With time it passes. Thinking about her doesn't mean I stop living MY life. It just means every now and then I miss her and get sad... for a minute or two at the most! Working on myself has made me a much better person and has also helped me through this crappy situation.
Yea... true... I also tend to analyze the situation too: I should have did this, or that. Or maybe I was wrong. Or if I hadn't did that we would still be together... even though it was her. I still tend to blame myself. I beat myself up so bad when I shouldn't. One moment I am fine... then there's that hurt creepy up on me... I just don't get it...
Sweet_Guy, I am trying to be patient with you, but it is wearing thin. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you did your best and it just wasn't meant to be! I was in a five year relationship and broke up... that is hard! You are an awesome guy and you will find what you are looking for if you LET it happen! Enjoy life baby, it is too short to wallow.
Believe me I will enjoy life... it is too shortQuote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Ima stop wallowing and just accept that I did my best and what I knew to do. My intentions wasn't bad or negative at all.
Thanks for being so patient... I know I'm a bit much...
You are a bit much, but if I am helping you then I am happy. I just know what it's like to get down on yourself (as I do still), and want people to avoid that at all costs. It is anti - productive to life.
Thanks to everyone. I don't how I would gotten through this confusion and frustration if I didn't have someone to vent to and gather WISDOM and direction from...
I'm a bit much really.. lolQuote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
What did you mean by it being anti - productive to life?
Getting down on yourself does not help life at all. That's what I mean. It is the hard times that define us as people, and we have to make something of ourselves in even the most impossible of situations.
Yea this has been a very troubling experience for me personally but I know its just shaping me more as a person...Quote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Trials and tribulations is what makes us... or turns you into the person you are suppose to be...
I'll give my description of the "One".
The "One" is:
-someone who is there with you through thick a thin
-someone who loves you for you, not what you do
-someone who sticks up for you
-someone who is not embarrassed to be with you
-someone who supports you at all times through everything
-someone who no matter what will not stray from you
-someone who openly communicates and works with you
-someone you can trust with out an inkling of doubt
-someone who you can rely on
-someone who shares life with you not dominates life
-someone who helps to guide you through the fog of life
-and finally someone who will not hurt you and leave you behind
That's just my thoughts of the "One"
Thanks I will keep that in mind and refer to that often... Today has been horrible... All I've been doing is thinking about her... she made me feel like no girl has made me feel ever... I miss that...Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
She strayed away from me big time... Didn't communicate to me at all... wasn't honest about her feelings at all...Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
She wasn't willing to work with me... surely didn't communicate with me about nothing... just strayed away, so I would get the hint...Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
I had doubts about her feelings about me for the longest before I broke up with her... I couldn't take her at her word like I use to be able to at the beginning.Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
She definitely didn't love me for me, and for who I am... I very good to her... she didn't see it.Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
She don't think she hurt me at all... doesn't admits or apologizes for anything... she doesn't understand my hurt at all...Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
Man its crazy...
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
This is from my personal opinion - my worldview.
Sweetguy, I really want to caution you about lists like this. They seem to make a lot of sense, I understand that. But I have to reiterate... its lists like this that form the basis of very unhealthy mental processes. You go through your relationships with a list like this and you put so much focus on her, you forget that your own behavior is the most important.
Don't misunderstand. Everything in that list is a desirable truth. It's just not primary. What is primary is that YOU be able to be and do all of those things... and more. Yes, you pay attention to how you're treated, but keep your own habits the focus of your most critical observations.
Someone commented above that if you could follow my description of what being "The One", you could make a go with almost anyone. I believe that to be almost certainly true. Not universally true, but certainly the right foundation.
Why do I believe this? I believe that people are inspired, frequently, by uncharacteristically positive behavior. If you take that list above and make it YOUR responsibility, and acted in all of those ways, many many times it could inspire an otherwise iffy mate to behave better.
It still might not work out, but at least your heart and conscience would be clear. And living like your goal is to BE "The One" means you should be attracting healthier mate candidates anyway.
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Anyway, I just want to warn you to keep lists like that in perspective.
When you date someone, you probably already like them, maybe a LOT. But you date them to discover the reason(s) you shouldn't be together, find them, and move on. More often than not you WILL find those reasons.
During that process, you keep living like you're "The One", and when you suddenly find yourself working with a girl you CAN'T find those reasons you shouldn't be together... it will be amazing. She'll be awesome, you're already awesome... lookout stars.
So when I date someone I should be looking for those reasons in that list..
Listen to JB man that's all you need to work on :)
If you keep looking at her to bet the best you will lose sight of what you should becomen.
Woh woh woh... where have you all been? The one? Its all about living your life the way you want to live your life and someone comes along and likes you for some reason... you grow... you talk. You learn about one another... there is no "one". Geez people... its not a mystery...
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