You want an adult answer? You don't deserve either of them. How could you sit there knowing what you did and still speak to your original girlfriend with no remorse. If you truly loved her you would have told her when it happened, you would have told her how you felt. Instead you have been lying to her and keeping it a secert until now its time to piss or get off the pot. You can wait for one of them to find out or you can fess up and hope one of them will still be with you. But to be honest I think you ruined chances of either working out for you.

Ok ok ok. Here's my advice..

Take a time off from both of them then evaluate yourself "Who do you really want". Be honest when you come up with an answer: to both of them!

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Originally Posted by ylaira

Ok ok ok. Here's my advice..

Take a time off from both of them then evaluate yourself "Who do you really want". Be honest when you come up with an answer: to both of them!

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He doesn't deserve either of them at this point, in my opinion.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 411Help

He doesn't deserve either of them at this point, in my opinion.

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Had to spread the Rep 411Help but I agree!!

The new girlfriend knew about the old one from the first date. I broke up with the new girl friend and haven't talked to her in a while, but I still think of her often. I hope that will pass. I haven't told the old girlfriend and trust me I know... childish, she deserves better, little boy all that, but I can't do it... like altenweg said, she had to when she thought she was pregnant, when her hand was forced. Right now my hand is forced to stay quiet.

It's not forced to stay quiet, that's a choice.

If you take anything I have to say to heart, take this. The truth always comes out, always, especially a big secret like this. It's better if it comes out from you, not someone else or accidentally.

If you care about this girl, which you obviously do, then she deserves the truth. She may surprise you, she might forgive you and move on, she might not, but she deserves the choice.

Can you live with this lie? Can you look her in the face every day and lie? How would you feel if the tables were turned? Would you want to know the truth, no matter how much it hurts?

Do the right thing, the manly thing.

Good luck.

I need to agree with everybody opinion...
I'm living your girlfriend side of the story... I was in a LDR for a year and a half, and two months ago we finally got together again, move in together and we got engaged! He proposed to me and I love him dearly and truly and of course I wanted to spend my life with that man.

But, lie has short legs... it comes slowly but surely... so last week I discovered that he cheated on me right after we got separated. He have been together just for 3 months before our separation, and in that time we agree to be honest to each other and not have other relationships. But then, he was already in contact with a woman with whom he had had some sex before and that lives in the place he moves too.

As soon as he arrived there, he cheated on me, and I just discovered now. He says that it ended up soon, etc, etc, etc... but my trust is broken. I still love him, and we may be able to stay together if someday he can rebuild the trust I once had, but engagement, house, etc, all that is over. The worst for me was the lying, since we always talk open about it, I even gave him the opportunity to tell me of any affairs without risk our relationship. But he denied it, and it happened.

So I bet it is better for you to be honest. She may be able to deal with it, stay with you, and you guys can move on for a better relationship. She may break up with you, and then you both can take care of your lives. You need to be honest. Better for her to know it now (and you) than after you have a common life, bank account and kids... just imagine. If you love her, you need to give her this choice.

PS> We both are 30... not a child opinion at all.

Hi I can't offer you advice because I am a woman in the same situation.
I know that I made a bad choice and ill pay for that
And a lot of people will juge me
But I know that I don't think I would change it, I have had the time of my life!!
I have not figured out my situation yet but I want
You to know that you are not alone and everyone
Messes up, it helps us grow.
It might sound lame and a bunch of people will not agree
But honestly if you have not been in the situation you Don't
Know how it feels.
Good luck I hope everything works out for you!!
I understand how you feel right now!

Adult speaking here... they always say when you cheat if you tell it's to clear your own conscious of your guilt and you'll just hurt her by telling her but after 4 yrs and the fact that you're soon going to live with her what should you do? You're not ready to live with a woman when you get lonely and cheat.
You don't need to tell her; why hurt her? Just tell her you aren't ready to live together; that you're having 2nd thoughts and would like to wait awhile longer... In that time, end it w/the mistress and stick with your heart not your loins and loneliness.
You already know your faults, no judgements here... just fix your problem and grow from it... and don't repeat it.
Reverse the role; how'd you feel if she was also doing that?
TRUST is a very big issue... if you've got it now keep it and right your wrong not by telling her but by fixing it and in doing so you'll also fix yourself and surprise yourself. Anyone can go out at any point and find a mistress; that's not the key of life... love is.