Fake accident? You sound a bit like you have histrionic tendencies. You have to realize who you are before you know how to fix your problems. It doesn't sound like you're actively analyzing what your character is like so you can prevent this sort of thing from happening. The number one thing you got to do is to start focusing on yourself man. You got to build the best you that you can be. Before you start thinking of attracting anyone you got to make sure you are at the top of your game. You're hurt and a bit confused right now, it isn't the best time for you to go after her. You both need time and space. Work on yourself man, get in shape, make sure you are maximizing your life's potential, with work or school. Build a stronger man that is independent. If you go back now, even if you did get back together, chances are the same problems you had that led the eventual break up will still be there. She might not even be the best person for you. Give yourself time for change and progress. It will come.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by High Max

There has to be SOMETHING, saying the right things, doing the right things at the right time.. even maybe little mind teasers that get her thinking of me again. You must agree that there could be some way, some how?

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The ironic part about this post, is a lot of women have a more difficult time getting over their breakup and sometimes wish and dream their ex-bf would get in touch with them and everything will work out perfectly like in the movies and they will live happily ever after. Of course that's natural to want, I want that with my ex. BUT reality is, she needs and wants her space right now, and you should respect that. She also has probably moved on somewhat. I don't know how the breakup went down, but if she's over it she's over it and then there is really nothing you can do to win back a girl. If you try, and she's over you - you will only scare her away more. So of course there is a way, you can do what you want send her flowers saying you'd like to talk you miss her etc. But the reality is, if she's over you, it won't matter. I think before you think of doing anything, you should get your head out of the gutter and think about what she wants? What she told you she wants? Respect her wishes. And in the meantime, start to have some more confidence in yourself! There are tons of women in the world. It takes time to find the next perfect match. Live your life in the meantime.

P.s. I think if anything the flowers with a card saying "i'm sorry, i miss you, i'd like to talk" is simple and to the point. Don't do anything more dramatic then that.

We all eventually let go of this burning hope that they will come back, that there's SOMETHING we/can do or say. You're taking a little longer...

But know the longer you accept you need to let go, the longer you will hurt.

You're only 21. That is still very, very young.

When my first serious high school girlfriend broke up with me I thought I would NEVER find anyone A) as beautiful and B) as awesome as her. Well, I've had several that have been just that and sadly a few weeks ago I lost the best one so for after almost a decade together.

You need to get yourself together and keep those crazy thoughts to yourself. The stunt you pulled crossed the line of batsh!t crazy and you need to get yourself in check now. We've all done stunts to get our ex's back... and now you've done yours. Moving forward you need to keep those schemes in your head and not act on them. Because as time passes you will go on and look back and feel like a total jack@ss and even embarrassed when you talk about it. Trust me on this one. It makes you look weak in the eyes of others- especially to all the awesome women out there.

Smart and beautiful women will gravitate towards strength in a man. You need confidence to pull this off and clearly you have none at this point- that's normal though... it will be awhile until it's back. But when it is back- you'll be stronger and more experienced than ever... a major bonus in a person.

Like I said, I know what it feels like to lose someone important- I feel like crap and have everyday since my girlfriend and I broke up... but I know I need to get myself back before I can progress with my life in any sort of constructive manner. You need to do the same.

At this time who was right or wrong or who ed up is irrelevant in respect to your past relationship. Take what you've learnt and become a better person. Your future girlfriend will be thankful for it.

Bask in your sh!tty feeling. It won't last forever.

I know that this is going to sound generic.
I know that this is going to sound typical.
I know that this is going to sound like what everyone else is say.

BUT, what I am saying is right (at least I believe so).

MOVE ON! You're 21, and have a whole life ahead of you. You have to accept the fact that she is gone, and move on. Have you tried NC? That means NO talking to her. NO looking at her Facebook. And TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT HER! Distract yourself until you forget about her.

Bottom line is you're right. You can't live like this forever. But suicide isn't the way out. When you can just change. You have this girl set up as if she is the greatest person in the world. As much as you believe that, it just isn't true. She is just another girl. Suicide at 21? You are REEEEALLLLY YOUNG! And you have a long time to go. My parents didn't meet until their late 20's! Give it more time, and try distracting yourself, and try not thinking about her. And maybe even keep dating other girls. But god please don't kill yourself. If you feel you really need to, see a counselor.

Lets at least agree to take suicide out of the picture... Please.

I have been doing NC, for a month at least. I may be pretty emotional and irrational right now, but one thing I do know and understand, is attraction. I know if I were to be calling her and begging her everyday that it would push her further. That is why I have been scheming and trying to think of any possible way to get back into her head to make her consider the possibility to get back with me.

Deep down I know a snow ball has a better chance in hell than me getting her back, but for some reason I'm compelled to keep trying. I can't really explain it guys, I only feel accomplished and good at the end of the day if I am trying to work towards winning her back. This hope is the only thing that I feel is keeping me going.

The last thing you said in the question, was what you need to call her about or text her tell her your sorry and maybe shell accept when you ask her to go out to lunch to talk and to see what's up... idk if it will work bbut I'm here to help let me know what happens and eathier answer back or e-mail me at [email protected] you'll be supprised what this girl can do with a bit of information I'm a miracle worker with 50 people a day OK joking 50 people a week a barley got time to even breathe in my schedule unless someone needs it and that sounds like you need it

But no suicide! Or else ill find you and get 60 dates and trust me you won't like that with your mind filled with her if it doesn't work tell me and all of us will try to help :)
______________________________________
LIL SHORTY

Quote:

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Originally Posted by High Max

I can't really explain it guys, I only feel accomplished and good at the end of the day if I am trying to work towards winning her back. This hope is the only thing that I feel is keeping me going.

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I think everyone here has felt the same way, at some level.

I had to come to reality by convincing myself that I had to move on. NOBODY could teach me that. I had to realize it myself.

Maybe it is the same with you.
IT TAKES TIME. GIVE IT TIME.

I don't know what else to say.



BUT,
About the suicide thing.
You have to know it isn't the only way out. Things will get better, believe me. You have family, and friends who love you. Killing yourself will hurt everyone around you. And it isn't very great for you either. It is taking your life away. Decades you will never get to live. Who knows, maybe your soulmate is out there (one other than this girl) and you killing yourself will just make that possibly great relationship non-existant.

Try this, a NC forum.

And stop considering suicide as an option.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Learnfrommyways

The last thing you said in the question, was wat u need to call her about or text her tell her ur sorry and maybe shell accept when u ask her to go out to lunch to talk and to see whats up....idk if it will work bbut im here to help let me know what happens and eathier answer back or e-mail me at [email protected] youll be supprised what this girl can do with a bit of information im a miracle worker with 50 ppl a day ok joking 50 ppl a week a barley got time to even breathe in my schedule unless someone needs it and that sounds like u need it

but no suicide! or else ill find u and get 60 dates and trust me u wont like that with ur mind filled with her if it dosnt work tell me and all of us will try to help :)
______________________________________
LIL SHORTY

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You're a "miracle worker?"
Pardon me for questioning your crudentials, but can you give any evidence of the 50 people you help weekly? The last thing the OP needs is more false hope, which I think you may be providing him with.

No offence is meant by this post, I am just concerned,
Thanks

It doesn't really look like you pay attention to what anyone says.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hellonasty

It doesn't really look like you pay attention to what anyone says.

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True,
But being in love is a funny thing.
I believe "Love Drunk" is the term.

When I broke with my ex, nobody could tell me anything. My ex was the greatest person in the world, and nobody else could do for me what she did. Obviously, I see the light now, but I had to come to my own conclusions. I think this is what the OP needs to do as well.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by High Max

I have been doing NC, for a month atleast. I may be pretty emotional and irrational right now, but one thing I do know and understand, is attraction. I know if I were to be calling her and begging her everyday that it would push her further. That is why I have been scheming and trying to think of any possible way to get back into her head to make her consider the possibility to get back with me.

Deep down I know a snow ball has a better chance in hell than me getting her back, but for some reason im compelled to keep trying. I can't really explain it guys, I only feel accomplished and good at the end of the day if I am trying to work towards winning her back. This hope is the only thing that I feel is keeping me going.

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You aren't going to win her back if you keep trying. If it didn't work the first time it's never going to work. The only way it may possibly work is if you give her space and don't contact her for months! Maybe if it's meant to be you two will re-unite, but not by planning on it, by the universe bringing you back together. But you can't hang onto that feeling. You got to move on. You sound very inmature for 21. Go to bars - meet women, have fun, hang with your friends! Turn to your parents and family for support. It sounds like you need a better support system for starters. When you go through a break up, keeping busy and occupied is the best thing you can do. Why waste your days plotting away at another ridiculous plan? Instead spend your days, thinking of what you need to work on to get yourself another great girl.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jrsg

Your a "miracle worker?"
Pardon me for questioning your crudentials, but can you give any evidence of the 50 people you help weekly? The last thing the OP needs is more false hope, which I think you may be providing him with.

No offence is meant by this post, I am just concerned,
Thanks

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... ooookkk what proof do I give you I can't give their problems they trust me to help them and keep their problems to myself and them and I can't give their e-mail because that's private annd they don't have an account here and don't give me this lawyer talk because umm... your messing with one not to get the upper hand but umm your comment was really unrespectful and that was bacck talk (sorry keeeey board mewessed upp not my laaaaaptop on the hiouse commmmputer)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Learnfrommyways

The last thing you said in the question, was wat u need to call her about or text her tell her ur sorry and maybe shell accept when u ask her to go out to lunch to talk and to see whats up....idk if it will work bbut im here to help let me know what happens and eathier answer back or e-mail me at [email protected] youll be supprised what this girl can do with a bit of information im a miracle worker with 50 ppl a day ok joking 50 ppl a week a barley got time to even breathe in my schedule unless someone needs it and that sounds like u need it

but no suicide! or else ill find u and get 60 dates and trust me u wont like that with ur mind filled with her if it dosnt work tell me and all of us will try to help :)
______________________________________
LIL SHORTY

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If he really is a miracle worker, then I will have to at least see what he has to say. Maybe he knows a golden piece of advice, maybe he can help me change things..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by High Max

If he really is a miracle worker, then I will have to atleast see what he has to say. Maybe he knows a golden piece of advice, maybe he can help me change things..

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Dude... If you want more pain and suffer then by all means go after this route. But you won't listen because you are waiting and hoping for some ray of hope for the relationship. Man you are in a very tough spot you need to see some professional health, this kind of obsession to the point of attempting suicide is not healthy. Man please I ask you not to give yourself false hope like this. If she wants to come back she will you will do nothing but push her away more. You are digging a deeper hole if you keep doing that. There is no magical way into someone's head to change their feelings.

But no matter what anyone tells you, you won't listen. I wish the best for you and hope you can come to a rationalization soon. You are stopping your life, you may have had someone better walk into your path but you were back in the past unable to meet them.

I've been considering seeing a psychologist, I have taken some of the advice here to heart if it makes you feel any better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by High Max

I've been considering seeing a psychologist, I have taken some of the advice here to heart if it makes you feel any better.

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Please if you take any advice see one. Don't feel worthless or weak for doing so. I'm not saying that guy is a liar or anything not here to argue that. But know nothing in the world can change how some feels except themselves. Please do not give yourself any more false hope as I'm afraid that your heart really can't take any more of that. Please just seek some help and in time, (lifes cruel joke is that time is the only thing that mends a broken heart). Man I feel your pain I truly do. Take the advice given here as many people have been in your situation, know your not alone as at some point we have all been there and the advice given is to help you stop hurting and heal.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by High Max

I've been considering seeing a psychologist, I have taken some of the advice here to heart if it makes you feel any better.

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Good to hear.

I haven't talked to her in over a month and that was when we pretty much broke up. I'm going to try to talk to her one more time and see if I can get anywhere.. Wish me luck.