I will also say, cause I am on my way there (not there yet), that when you learn to actually love yourself as you are, then life is sooo much better and more enjoyable. Going through a bad/difficult break up or heart break forces you to learn how to do this. Rushing back into another relationship doesn't help that process at all.

Think of time as the only real currency in your life. Do you really want to sit around waiting for someone that doesn't want you? Your time (your life) is worth way too much for that. Use your time. Get busy, get involved.

NC sucks in the beginning, but as you cope with the relationship being over and not contacting your ex, you build a certain inertia. It is easier to maintain NC. If he calls/texts, do not answer right away. Read the text, listen to the voicemail. Then sleep on it. Chances are, you will feel that his message does not warrant you to break NC, and you will feel empowered by being able to resist contacting your ex.

What s great site this is , reminds me of AA when I went to my first meeting 20 years ago I was hurting and found I was not alone , got help ,helped others ,never think about drinking met wonderful,caring people who helped me move on . So I came here in September and found the same caring people all in the same boat at one time or another and found help. Time and no contact as suggested by others has definitely helped me realize I can move on without the women that dumped me, I still have my moments but it gets better every day and I feel good about myself again as you will in TIME.Read the sticky WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU GET DUMPED it helped me a lot. Good luck to you

Yeah.. I know its all so hard and you feel like the world as you know it is ending.. and the concept of facing another day let alone a week or a month etc of never speaking is impossible. Its so hard not to pick up the phone and call or text when I'm feeling so low. As much as I know its wrong I can't seem to not do it... arghhh

The thing is I don't want another relationship right now I want to be over this one and love myself again.

Thanks so much for everyone's advice, its helping me get through.

You are right for not wanting another relationship right now. To get out of a long and emotional relationship, and immediately go into another one... that is just asking for problems. Just take your time and learn to enjoy yourself as an individual.