Ask Me Help Desk - New girlfriend is a stunner

Oh, BTW you owe me five bucks:)

I would think personality difference is a turn off for you. No matter how stunning she is, the way she acts in bed (does not like foreplay etc.) is not attractive to you.
Her being beautiful is not synonymous of being sexually appealing to you. It has nothing to do with whether you ready for this or not, in my opinion.

I agree w/shadowburn... its not that your ready I mean a yr has passed since your last relationship although you may still remember her but I think you are willing to move on but unfortunately this girl does not cut it for you sexually... I still think its all about sexual chemistry that you do not have w/this girl... when this happens to me I tend to think of exes when I don't have a chemistry w/the guy I am with which is dangerous...

I think your still comparing what you had, to what you have. Being overly critical, is a sure sign that you haven't moved on, and may be unwilling to do what it takes to establish communications, or a willingness to work with a new partner.

Another thing to consider, is maybe your moving much to fast, and expecting to much.

This would be a good time for some self evaluation, to get to why you feel this way, and are doing what your doing.

Five cyber Bucks in the post for BMI!

Thank you again for all of the advice. Having thought about this a lot recently, I do feel quite nervous about being with her, probably more nervous than I would with other girls. I don't really know why. But I also overthink things which makes me even more nervous. Then I think why aren't I enjoying this, I should be, thus putting pressure on myself. Thing is with the ex (there I go with the comparisons again) it took me a while to feel comfortable but not quite so long, and I was a young teenager then so it was more acceptable. I have only had the three sexual partners so I don't have anything else to compare it to, as it is unfamiliar to me.

Another dimension I am considering is the trust issue. I do not trust this girl yet, in the sense that I feel if she met someone else, she would leave me. I say that because of her past. She is the type of girl who has plenty of 'guy friends' but not many girl friends. Her past is a minefield of distrust and contains a lack of loyalty. But can that effect sex? I mean I don't even know if I am into this girl or not. Ie: our personalities sometimes clash, she annoys me with some of the things she says/ does. But she does make a lot of effort with me and is attractive. And as I person I can be difficult (I know that because people always tell me and it is true) and stubborn. So... here goes again. Give it more time maybe? I do lack trust in people in general.

The final point is that I would feel like a complete fool (and look like one) to finish with a girl like that. I very much doubt she has ever been dumped in her life.

Oh... I am so confused.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HelpSkippy

Thank you both for the advice.

I disagree when you say that i am on the rebound however, as it has been a long time since the break up with my ex, and i feel that i have moved on. I feel comfortable with myself being alone, and i made the choice to have a relationship so it is not to avoid being alone.

The two girls are completely different personality wise, and in terms of their intimate personalities as well. The new girlfriend is much more experienced, forward and just generally different. Not that its a bad thing and im not complaining. So im in a situation where i like her and should feel attracted to her, which i do most of the time. There is no way i can talk to her about this, she is stunning and i can't ask her to behave differently sexually.

He old relationship in the original post? REBOUND

Then why did you mention t

All of your issues seem to be about you, and not her. You may have been ready to date again, but a relationship, a healthy one, requires you to be in a healthy place, and able to communicate, and work with your partner. That you don't have here, do you?

Quote:

The final point is that i would feel like a complete fool (and look like one) to finish with a girl like that. i very much doubt she has ever been dumped in her life.

What a big RED FLAG, this is, and one you need to pay attention to! You must not be comfortable, or secure with yourself or your decisions to be worried about what the rest of the world thinks of your happiness. Given all you have written, that kind of shallow thinking is a perfect example of why this cannot work, as it looks good on paper, but doesn't work well, or have anything on your part to sustain it. Sorry guy, but you could use an honest self evaluation (Attitude adjustment)