Ask Me Help Desk - Moved back in and now...

Quote:

Originally Posted by fjsmith81

She tells you that she is trying to bring some excitement into the relationship, huh?? Generally when someone tries to bring some excitement into the relationship the other person is included. Unless it's your birthday. Is it your birthday?? I didn't think so. She probably wants to bring some excitement into her life by sleeping with someone else behind your back. You can talk calmy and have a civilized conversation all you want, but I am going to tell you from the sound of things your relationship is a done deal. You should have just stuck with your initial actions of moving out, but I would add to it. NOT LOOK BACK!!!

Good Luck

Blunt, straight forward... but very negative... and you say communication will never get him anywhere... like six years isn't worth him fighting for if he feels the need to?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guidostern

Blunt, straight forward...but very negative...and you say communication will never get him anywhere...like six years isn't worth him fighting for if he feels the need to?

Sweetheart he starts his post by saying that he moved out. What? Do you want me to hold his hand and skip with him telling him that everything will be all right? Not going to happen. I am telling the truth, and it doesn't matter how long you have been with a person if the person you are with decides that they want to sleep with someone else or are trying to sleep with someone else then they don't hold the relationship in the highest regards, now do they?

He already knows what he needs to do, because he did first. LEFT HER ALONE. He already thinks she is doing something fishy because he said it. He probably wants to hear someone else validate his suspicions, because he is probably tired of her treating him like he is crazy.

Okay, okay... no fighting... While yes, she is searching for GIRLS online, it's not that big of a deal... She is starting to be honest with me, and as long as she is honest with me, that's fine. I don't care if she messes around with other girls because I'm not against her being herself... she's not seeing other guys... I know this to be true... it's not something that I am just hoping for. Now, no more fighting... I have enough anger issues as it is!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fjsmith81

Sweetheart he starts his post by saying that he moved out. What?? Do you want me to hold his hand and skip with him telling him that everything will be alright? Not gonna happen. I am telling the truth, and it doesn't matter how long you have been with a person if the person you are with decides that they want to sleep with someone else or are trying to sleep with someone else then they don't hold the relationship in the highest regards, now do they??

He already knows what he needs to do, because he did first. LEFT HER ALONE. He already thinks she is doing something fishy because he said it. He probably wants to hear someone else validate his suspicions, because he is probably tired of her treating him like he is crazy.

I know you feel that I should have just stayed gone... but you know something? SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME OR US... even during the worst time of my life she stood right there and supported me. She asked me to come back, so I came back... I'm sorry that I'm just not the type of guy who gives up on something or someone that he believes in with all his heart and soul.

We had a fantastic evening yesterday... we talked for hours, just like when we first met... we're taking it slow and getting to know each other again... we're going to stop living in the past because that's what has been ruining our relationship for the past few months. I finally got her to communicate with me... the weird thing is all I had to do is listen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GW28

I know you feel that I should have just stayed gone...but you know something? SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME OR US...even during the worst time of my life she stood right there and supported me. She asked me to come back, so I came back...I'm sorry that I'm just not the type of guy who gives up on something or someone that he believes in with all his heart and soul.

We had a fantastic evening yesterday...we talked for hours, just like when we first met...we're taking it slow and getting to know each other again...we're gonna stop living in the past because that's what has been ruining our relationship for the past few months. I finally got her to communicate with me...the weird thing is all I had to do is listen.

GW, you started your initial post with such conviction. You stated that you left a situation and that you were begged back into it. You go on to say that after you came back she started searching for a girl on the internet. When you are asking for advice on this site all myself or anyone can do is go by what you tell them. I don't know the reason why you left. You just stated that you left, and in my experience things are just roses when you decide to leave someone. Furthermore, you say that she has created a profile online to find someone else and she has blocked from utilizing the computer as much as you want. You say that she is bisexual, and that is perfectly fine. I know people that have healthy relationships where one or both parties are bisexual, but let me clarify by saying this, both parties are fully aware of what their partner is doing. It is not something that is done behind anyone's back. IF you were truly OK with it then you would not have put up a post questioning her activities.
The problem that I have is with the misconception that people tend to think that when they find out that their significant other has cheated on them that it is OK, because they are indulging in their bisexual lifestyle. I think that it is so not OK. Cheating is cheating. Whether it is with a man or woman.
I am not telling you what to do, because it is your life, but communication is a great start to working out any problem. I really hope things work out the way that they are supposed to.

Good luck