Ask Me Help Desk - My girfriend stays with her ex regularly, is she cheating?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BetrayalBtCamp

Really it doesn't matter whether she is having an emotional affair, a physical affair (or combo) or no affair with her ex at all. What matters is whether or not that is an acceptable thing for your gf to be doing. It's no different if she were a binge drinker & was good for several months then went on a week or two bender repeatedly.

She will either acknowledge it's a problem & stop or not. If not, you get to decide if you want to live with that or not.

Granted, your sexual tastes are apparently being satisfied with her so you hate to have the search process start all over again for someone that you match with so well, but if she wants to keep her ex in her life & you want the sex, making an agreement to be a no strings FWB deal sounds like a better one than the frustration & issues you are dealing with now. And from the pattern she has now, she'll be on your couch every couple of months for a couple of weeks anyway if you miss her company & wanted to let her just hang out the way he's doing, seems like.

I think what it boils to is can deal with her going and staying with so often, and the answer is simply no. As, for a FWB relationship I'm not that kind of guy I'm all in or all out kind of person and would rather loose her than keep her, given the current situation.

Looks like I'm probably going to be saying goodbye pretty soon, thank you all for your help ill let you know my decision once I've made it.

I am little late here but,

You can find someone who won't test your trust...

Well I phoned her and told her that, in the future whenever she goes to see him. I must be given the option of going with her and she isn't to stay with him. Which she seems to have agreed with reluctantly. I don't exacly feel proud asking such a thing but hey love is war, and paranoia keeps we warm.

I also asked her about how often she stays and as it turns out she doesn't visit as often as I had originally anticipated we both have been at uni for some time, and the first visit I heard of was back in June ish (social call), and the latest was for work experience this last week. I calculated based on the times, she only visits twice a year if that... my bad.

We will be together at least till she gets back next weekend, after which time you will know if we stayed together like glue, or drifted apart after the wreckage that was our relationship. This will be last post until something new happens, and that depends on her so it maybe tomorrow, it maybe next week ill be back then.