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Originally Posted by HeadsHigh

Yes my intention isnt to get in contact and dwell on what has happened, nor is it to wait around for her. I guess ill just keep doin what im doin and see what happens.

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Yes. Do your thing and find the joy, life is too short to wait around. I agree with Smoked; she still cares, but that is not the question you should be asking yourself. :)

Every other day I receive messages from her telling me that she's sorry.. I've ignored her up until the other night and told her she didn't have anything to be sorry about, that I still loved her and I'm not judging her by what she's getting up to now that we've split up.

I haven't heard back from her..
I cannot help but feel confused.

I want her back in my life for certain and I do feel as though there's a slight chance for us. I want to win back her trust, I'm just not sure if she's prepared to let me.
I have given her space, I broke 2 months of NC by replying to her... I guess the balls in her court now right?

I really feel on edge today.. maybe breaking NC wasn't a smart move?
This situation is really frustrating. I wish she'd just talk to me properly.

So the summer holiday has ended and the true realization of what I've lost has kicked in. Today in particular feels like the worst day since we broke up my chest feels heavy and I'm thinking about her every two seconds. Now that the vacation is over and I'm back at uni I guess its just hit home that she's never coming back. It feels like I'm right back at the beginning. Why does it feel that I'm meant to be with her so badly?

You haven't healed, and your wounds are still fresh. That's so human, and understandable.

What you do about coping with those feelings is what counts, so heal, and deal with those feeling, stay with no contact, even from her, just be busy and unavailable, and get on with your life, and learn from this experience.

If you didn't, you'll just repeat your mistakes until you get it!