Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prencilia31

Yes, he is attached, and he too should have thought about that. It takes two people to do anything. And being legally married and bound by vows is extremely different from 'common law' marriage or courting. Otherwise, the same rules that apply to married couples would apply to single ones. Again, do you realize that we are just talking about ONE Person. He and She are not married, so this case doesn't apply. I guess I posted on the wrong site for advice, because people don't seem to do their math before making comments.

---

So you do not think anything of sleeping with another woman's man just because they do not happen to be married?
I would tell my boyfriend NEVER EVER to come to my door again whether we were married or not.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Defend, defend, defend. Pointless, pointless, pointless. Not everyone here who answered you called you names. Some of us talked to you rationally. You didn't absorb what we said either.

So, nice or harsh, you aren't listening. You're right. You posted to the wrong site. If you're looking for the site where people tell you acting like you're innocent when you're not is OK....yeah, that's not us. We'll tell you the truth...some will call you names at the same time.

But regardless, you're not listening. So, thanks, we'll keep having fun. Thanks for the suggestion.

Oh, and if you ever DO wake up and decide character is what you DO and not what you can defend, we'll still be here to help.

---

You go JB! Couldn't had been said ANY better!!

I'm not getting defensive, honey. Too bad I don't define my life by what society thinks. I think most people who have any kind of sense would look up words in a dictionary before they try to define them. Now please, do not reply again. I have found a site that gives honest advice, and its from people who are secure enough to be honest but not judgemental. Maybe this is a site for people who are unhappy with themselves and need to vent, so they use other's people's problems to get their 'rocks off'... have fun, I'm done.

I'm not getting defensive, honey. Too bad I don't define my life by what society thinks. I think most people who have any kind of sense would look up words in a dictionary before they try to define them. Now please, do not reply again. I have found a site that gives honest advice, and its from people who are secure enough to be honest but not judgemental. Maybe this is a site for people who are unhappy with themselves and need to vent, so they use other's people's problems to get their 'rocks off'... have fun, I'm done.
And for those who didn't call me names, I wasn't talking to you. So why are you taking offense? I don't want to appear innocent. I did not sleep with someone's husband. The man I slept with was single. Period. Point. Blank. However you wish to put it, So again, I have found advice that was honest, and reasonable, so please, miss me with the ' you can't take it' crap. I just didn't expect to be called names and made to feel like I broke in someone's house and stole their man. Anyway, I have homework to do, so I have to go. Please don't respond to this post with negativity.
"When people judge you, they don't define YOU, they define THEMSELVES!!!!"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prencilia31

I'm not getting defensive, honey. Too bad I don't define my life by what society thinks. I think most people who have any kind of sense would look up words in a dictionary before they try to define them. Now please, do not reply again. I have found a site that gives honest advice, and its from people who are secure enough to be honest but not judgemental. Maybe this is a site for people who are unhappy with themselves and need to vent, so they use other's people's problems to get their 'rocks off'... have fun, I'm done.

---

Or maybe you found a website that gives you the advice you want to hear. What did you expect to hear? To keep going after a man in a relationship? Or perhaps you were completely right in this situation and to continue fighting for this guy?

As for your other comment, yes there are people on this site that come on here to vent because they are unhappy. You used this forum for the same reason, you came on here because you wanted advice because you were frustrated by the situation at hand. We don't get our "rocks" off by coming on here and bashing other people. We take our experience and give honest opinions, some people can take them others cannot. You obviously fall into the latter category and that's fine. Have a nice day

Okay, well if you give advice based on 'your' experience, then consider how you feel if you were called a 'whore' or 'slut' or whatever. If you've been there, done that don't judge others. NO the site I found is where a 'guy' told me to just chill, and cut off contact with this person... which is what I did. But he didn't try to make me feel like it was all my fault or that I was some lonely hussy looking for a quick thrill. Trust me, when you've been compared to 'Mary J. Blige" getting a man is no problem. I wanted the truth, which I got from the other site, but I got it without being called names. Again, I came here for advice, not to be called names. AND YOU HAVE A NICE DAY

You do not want advice based on our experience but can you tell me how if you lived with and loved a guy for years and never married how would you feel if you found out that he was with another woman? Would you not feel cheated on and lied to? Or would you say it is okay even though I have lived with him for years and poored my love into him it doesn't matter he is not cheating on me because we are not married.

Like I said if my boyfriend was seeing another girl he better never come back through my door even to pack his clothes.
I don't care if we were only together 1 month or 10 years.

Hmm... well if you had a boyfriend, and found out that he was cheating on you with another woman, and that they'd had sex, what would you want to call her?


Think for just a moment, put yourself in the other woman, you know, his girlfriend? Put yourself in her shoes for just a second and you'll soon realize you'd be saying a lot harsher things. Then name-calling may be harsh, but it wasn't uncalled for, it wasn't inaccurate, and it's not extreme compared to what should be said about women who get with men who are in relationships.


Married or not, his commitment was to HER, and both you and him were 100% WRONG. I'm not letting him Off the hook for this one either. He can't keep it in his pants, so he's obviously not worth any woman's time because he's just A 2-TIMING SCUMBAG JERK.\



Maybe you SHOULD get together with him, then you can experience, sooner (rather than later in my opinion) what his girlfriend went through. Think of what you felt for him, now multiply that by about 1000 because he was supposed to be committed to her and that's about as bad as she feels.

I don't think no matter what anyone say, she'll only see it as being attack.

I would just like to say to the poster, you stated the reason for calling him is because you needed advice, but you have feelings for him. Don't you have other friends to talk to? It seems that is an excuse. Also, you stated his girlfriend was an ungly duckling, but your beautiful, I guess looks does not matter with him. By you, you don't care if he's involved with someone but yet you know how it feels to be cheated on and don't care about playing seconds, that speaks volumes about your character and morals. You want people to tell you your being used when you already know that and don't care. Again, wow. You knew what you was getting yourself into from the start and should have not gave in tempation. I hope his girlfriend grows a backbone and leave him because a dog will always find his way home and she better watch out for flees.

Lets get real, we have struck a chord, and they always get defensive when we are right, and they don't want to hear it. There is no better site for advice, so end of thread!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prencilia31

I understand that he is unavailable, and all that...I still don't think that gives anyone any right to call me a whore. I can take conductive criticism, but namecalling is another thing. Again, the word "whore" defines someone who sleeps with someone for money,,,in other words, it is a slang term for prostitute!!!!!! I did not sleep with him for money. And if he is really that committed, then I wouldnt have his number, etc. so please stop making it look as if I am TAKING something from someone. It's okay to say that Im being used, etc, or whatever, I can take that because I probably am. But to be called a WHORE for liking someone that liked me back, or whatever, is an overstatement. I never have or never will sleep with a guy for money or material things, that's what WHORES do. That's whats wrong in this world, and thats the reason some people don't take advice too well, because there are some out there that do not know how to give advice without attaching a label to someone. You are acting as if I TOOK this man away, or worse, tried to RAPE him. Yes, he is attached, and he too should have thought about that. It takes two people to do anything. And being legally married and bound by vows is extremely different from 'common law' marriage or courting. Otherwise, the same rules that apply to married couples would apply to single ones. Again, do you realize that we are just talking about ONE Person. He and She are not married, so this case doesn't apply. I guess I posted on the wrong site for advice, because people don't seem to do their math before making comments.

---

I understand that you're upset about being call names and stuff, and I'm not going to do that... I am however going to express MY OWN OPINION that I think it was a bad judgement call to get involved with someone who told you from the very beginning that he was in a relationship.

To answer your original question, yes, I think you should just let it go. He has made it clear to you by not returning your calls or messages that he's over it.

No matter what you want to call it you are 'the other' woman and he goes back to her.
If you like being sloppy seconds...

Regardless of what these people are saying, they are all right. You are in the wrong, he is in the wrong. You two weren't having a relationship. You were having an affair. He's selfish. Would you feel differently if you were her? Would you call the other woman a "whore"? Probably. Regardless of what you were called, just know that this was wrong. And you need to move on. Find someone that wants to be with you, and only you.