Ask Me Help Desk - Why she won't take her things?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuzindave96

My girlfriend and I of three yrs have recently broke up In the past Month. She left almost all her things with me when she moved out. Laptop,Ipod all her clothes...etc. Why does she not want It? She says she does but when she calls she talks about our relationship. I have asked her many times to come get It. And when she does she takes 2 things at a time. Keep In mind she Is the one that ended this relationship. Its like she keeps It here for a reason....maybe Its me?

This was so obvious to me the minute I read it. She is only getting a "few" things at a time, because she wants to see what will happen. She isn't quite ready to let go of you yet, although she is the one that did the breaking up. She may feel like she made a mistake, and waiting for you to make the first move, which isn't fair. She could also, possibly, be keeping you on the back burner, in case something better doesn't come along shortly.

She only wants to talk to you about your relationship when she calls. You are obviously engaging her in that, and you are allowing her to take a couple things at a time. Both of you are hanging on, for one reason or another.

It's time to start communicating, and ask her what she really wants! If she can't make up her mind, tell her you will do it for her, and have all of her belongings packed and waiting for her to get within the next couple of days. Otherwise they will be on the outside of the house, and whatever isn't taken will be dealt with the way you see fit.

Tell her it's time to S**t or get off the pot, and you won't let her leave her stuff around as a reminder any longer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hjpan

What about my relationship?
I was in a LDR for a year and four months.... my girlfriend (now ex) said she'll send my stuff back but she won't mail it to me...

damn it

I know this is not your thread dear, but have you thought of sending someone to go and get your stuff if you cannot go and get it yourself?

I'd make an itemized list of my things and 'officially' ask for them, even if I had to involve the authorities.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Chery

I know this is not your thread dear, but have you thought of sending someone to go and get your stuff if you cannot go and get it yourself?

I'd make an itemized list of my things and 'officially' ask for them, even if I had to involve the authorities.

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I know nobody in her state and my ex knows nobody in my state

Quote:

Originally Posted by hjpan

I want my ex stuff out too...

I know you are still bitter about all this, but please.. use your own thread to vent next time dear. There is plenty of room on this forum for you too, so you don't need to piggy-back.

If she has your stuff, and you still have her stuff - make a trade or toss it.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by cuzindave96

My girlfriend and I of three yrs have recently broke up In the past Month. She left almost all her things with me when she moved out. Laptop,Ipod all her clothes...etc. Why does she not want It? She says she does but when she calls she talks about our relationship. I have asked her many times to come get It. And when she does she takes 2 things at a time. Keep In mind she Is the one that ended this relationship. Its like she keeps It here for a reason....maybe Its me?

Now, getting back to you dear..

Starbuck and the others are right.

If you don't want anything to do with her again (that's up to you, but don't drag it on if it bothers you), be clear on the phone or text and put a stop to it. Box up all her stuff and let her know when to come and get it or you'll give it to somebody else. After that time is up and she has not gotten it, give it to somebody else or just toss it!

Tell her it's time that she does what Starbuck so nicely said.. s**t or get off.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Thanks Chery

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Asking a question in someone's elses question is thread jacking. Post your own question. You are actually in the opposite boat. He wants his exes stuff out, you can't get your stuff from your ex....

Do you have anything else to do besides answer questions wrong?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuzindave96

Do you have anything else to do besides answer questions wrong?

Hey hey now, that was not necessary! Just because you don't like the answers given, doesn't mean you can come and say how wrong they were in your opinion. CM is a respected member here, and she gave her opinion. You are always welcome to take it or leave it, but there is no need to be rude.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuzindave96

Do you have anything else to do besides answer questions wrong?

So, cuzindave.. after this distraction... Have you come up with a game-plan on how you are going to deal with your issue yet? Break-ups are never fun, and can take a while getting over anger during the healing process, but it's good to start planning on getting your life back in order.

Let us know what's up.

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One thing to think about.. And that's not to try and take your anger out on others - just my opinion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuzindave96

Do you have anything else to do besides answer questions wrong?

There is no need to get rude with me, I was trying to get someone to post their own thread instead of using yours to get their own answers for their own question. And if you hadn't already noticed, I did give my input on your question. So please, next time, try being a little nicer. I know with only two posts you are new here, so I would suggest reading the rules. We respect one anothers opinions here.

She's using it as a reason to keep coming back. It makes sense. If you really don't want her to keep calling and talking about your relationship and if you really want her gone (you broke up for a reason, right?) Then you should pack up all of her things for her and tell her they'll be sitting at the door on a certain day at a certain time and if she doesn't come for it it's yours to do with as you please. Or start charging her storage fees... lol