Thank you... I am just so dis-hearted right now. I feel no hope. You are awesome for saying this... but I am just going to leave him alone for now. I felt old around all of them, last night.
Old. Around young women like this, but I am beautiful and very sophisticated. Those women stared at me. His friend is an idiot.

Nohelp4U, you are right. The "player" dude is his client, and they closed
On selling his house today. He is now wanting to build a house. But still, Leon could have picked up his phone.
And he doesn't take all of his clients out like this... to celebrate...

Guys are what they do, not what they say. Listen to his words with gentle aloofness, then watch and see if his actions fully support those words.

It appears his don't. This is good info to have. It gives you permission to override your attraction to him with facts and common sense and move on to your next chapter. The next guy may be the same way or completely different. The only way to know is to try the next guy out.

You already see this guy's actual actions, you already know what you have with him. If that's enough, stay. If not, next chapter.

Choose wisely. Your life is a terrible thing to waste.

I believe you see a realistic picture, but your attraction is overriding your common sense, and you don't need advice as what to do , but the strength and support to do it. Leave him, and get a real man who cares, as JB has said, his actions have no love for you at all. But you know this already.

I just want to hear his voice.

He was so kind the night before - telling me he is not going to date anyone else, but was going counselor every week, not date, not see anyone, and he needed time to learn to love himself, so he can love another. He said it could take 1 month or 3 months. He loved my family, loved us. He doesn't want to hurt any of us because of his actions, like he did in the past. Such as making the phone call to his X.

Sunday night I know he spoke from the heart... told me I stole his heart. For 4 hours he talked about us, and working us out. Monday morning he wrote... That we can work through anything.

... quote.. I like how you signed your email. Its going to be tough but I think we can mend things. I had no idea what I put you through. We can ease back together again and make it work between us. I had a great time just conversing with you last night. Carol was right, you are a great catch. I never denied that.

Your man,

Lee

Then Tuesday, at 2:30 in the afternoon, after I left a message I wanted to hear his voice, he dumped me again, stating everything he said to me on Sunday was wrong, he really wanted to tell me it was over. It's the trust issue. He won't give me the chance to forgive him. I believe he loves me... he is just messed up.

His friends say this is so not him. That he was extremely committed to his relationship, even though she cheated on him 4 times. His divorce is only final September 11, and his Xwife remarried a week after the divorce was final.

Lost... I am, and weak today. I want to thank all of you for the advice.
I wonder if I am going to make it through the day.

Like I said he knows all the right answers so you have to be cautious and not let him get away with anything. Actions speak louder than words. Don't know why he would flip-flop like that though other than to play games with your emotions.

When a person knows all of the right answers, yet changes those answers daily... I don't understand either. I just know he made plans - bought plane tickets for us to meet his family on the 22nd of this month for a week to PA. It's not going to happen I imagine. We need a miracle from God. I haven't told my children. I keep sleeping hoping I wake up from this nightmare.
We just loved him so much... one minute he is with me in the hosipital, helping deliver my grand baby... the next he is gone. We were so attached. Yet no ring.

So are you going to accept he is a smooth talking jerk or not? Hate to sound callous or harsh, but you have no business listening to the words, and not the actions.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GDArtist

We just loved him so much...one minute he is with me in the hosipital, helping deliver my grand baby...the next he is gone. We were so attached. Yet no ring.

---

We?? You and who else? Your kids? Apparently not him. He's fickle and insecure and childish. If that describes your ideal MAN, keep after him. Otherwise go, and don't look back.

You are right. He was there for my family, and he had the best intentions of taking me and my children to PA. I just don't understand. For him to waste this much money.. apparently he got scared.

Thank you for your response. We are just at a tremendous loss. He just loved my family.
My oldest son is the mayor of a city, 2 of my other children are becoming doctors.. two still at home. He spend time with each of them, individually. It's just so strange.

Yes he is either fickle or bipolar, I am now figuring out.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GDArtist

Thank you for your response. We are just at a tremendous loss. He just loved my family.
My oldest son is the mayor of a city, 2 of my other children are becoming doctors..two still at home. He spend time with each of them, individually. It's just so strange.

---

Sounds to me as if he is still distraught over his ex and on the rebound. He is trying to build a 'social circle' of new friends for himself that will benefit him, but that does not mean he is willing to accept the entire 'family package' - with you in it.

So, my dear, get over him and start enjoying your life again - without worrying about the ties he has with the rest of your family. Take care of your life and happiness.

Good luck.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif

Thank you everyone for all of your comments and help. I am taking classes, moving on, meeting new people, and at least trying to step out of the situation. It's very hard because my heart is still with him, because I believe in him. Again, thank you so much.
The trip may be off, but it doesn't mean I can't re-direct the flights to somewhere the kids
And I can go...

Good for you dear.

Hey, guess what, at the bottom of each post, there are two buttons, one orange, and the other blue. If you click on the orange one to 'rate' a person's advice - if it did you good or not, it will help. We do this all for free, and new people coming on here don't seem to notice all the other little buttons available to use and comment.

Good luck with you and your kids and hope you have a good time planning a nice trip together.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif

Recently after my boyfriend breaks-up with me - from cheating, it seems I've become noticed! A man magnet my girlfriends tell me... One man tells me I fell out of the sky, and landed in the chair behind him... it was awesome... he is so like me. Successful.. handsome, real.. does this happen, really when you least likely expect it? Should we both move slow, and just relax... see what happens.. I didn't plan this. I had planned to not date, and see if Lee comes back... Funny, I met him with my X-boyfriends best friends wife!

Your grammar confused me.

You mean he cheated and you broke up with him?

If you like him - great.

Is it fate? Not likely... just good chemistry.

Of course, Lee is calling me again. I haven't heard from him for 1 1/2 months... and he calls about 10 times, and texts me... I don't answer... I had another phone call, couldn't see his number and it's him... he talks for an hour... about his crap... stuff, and He says he misses me. I have met another man, an unbelievable person, who I have a chemistry with. All of a sudden... my feelings are all screwed up. I pray every day to God, he gives me strength.
This "other man" is awesome... but not divorced yet, he will be soon. We have a tremendous chemistry. I told Lee not to call me, or email -text me... that it's to painful. I am so happy in my life right now... but I feel, in my soul... I am missing something... want someone to share my wonderful life with.

Its up to you to break contact with your ex, just stop taking his calls and not responding to him.

If you were all that happy with this new guy, this would be easier, so be cautious with someone who IS NOT divorced.

Just hang up if it's Lee, eventually he'll get the message.

This new guy is still married, bare in mind he is cheating on his wife, if he'll do it to her, he'll do it to you... be careful.