From your initial post, it sounded as if this was a one-time thing, you did not mention that this occurred more often - just that her mother flew in for the 'occasion'. That's why I was so upset and concluded that you would expect her to give everything and everyone up for you and that you expect to know where she was all the time.
Also, I stated that if she were with other friends, I could understand you being upset.
Now that you've given us more information and this turned out to not be just a one time thing with her, then of course you've got a right to be upset, especially if you talked about her behavior and set some ground-rules and she did not respect your wishes. Maybe you could have told us about her previous 'escapades' more and then added the date with Mom later. I certainly would not have been so 'hard' on you because this sheds new light on the situation. But, the choices she makes are still her own, accept it and move on if you can't live with it.
I still feel that you expect a lot from a 4 month relationship - and unfortunately, from a woman who is not ready to be a home-body. She's going to have her fun with or without you and if you want her in your life, you need to talk and meet her half way.
Old-fashioned or not, the only control you have is over how you cope with life and what you expect, but you cannot expect anyone else to totally agree with you right off the bat.
Maybe you did fear that she was hurt or in a hospital, or whatever, but it sounds to me as if you are talking about a child who has broken rules and instead of hugging them and telling them you are glad they are OK and missed them, you tend more to punish.
I seriously don't think she is ready to settle down as much as you are, so it would probably be better for the both of you to find more compatible partners to grow with and share common goals.
My last 'partner' and I were together for over 4 years, and guess what, I never called.. and I only went out with my daughter and her friends - he complained a lot, but that went in one ear and out the other because I felt that this was his problem, not mine - and I don't drink. I went out regularly with her once a month before she became a mother and is now concentrating on a new chapter in her life. He went out once a week to get drunk, and that did not bother me either - unless he got sick and missed the toilet because I was the one who had to clean up after him. Needless to say, we are no longer together.. and I'm sure you'll find the right person for you too.
Good luck.
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