Ask Me Help Desk - She broke up with me.

Yeah I see your point thoughtiwastheman about the ring it does put an end to it, I didn't really look at it like that. Sorry if I have offended you both.

Good job! Now don't take the fact that she can't see you face to face as a "good" sign. Remember, move on and keep living as if its meant to be it will. For now know that it is over and live everyday believing it. Call up some old friends of yours and go out and do something new. Taking the ring back was not a ploy to trick her into coming back. It was something you needed to do to have closure and move on. Like I always say, good luck and be strong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nero33456

Thanks guys for the advice. It really helps me see things different. but for now i think i am going to just leave her like everyone said and try to move on. I should also note that she new guy that she is with, and they've been seeing each other for about 2 months now, well he JUST left to another country and won't be back for 3 months. So i thought that could only help the situation. I think they're "staying together" but i dunno, doesn't sound like they have much of a foundation. But i thought this, in combination with me absolutely leaving her alone, and asking her for the ring, all at once, may be my best shot.
And ya of course there is a loooot more going on here. I could write pages here on all the details, but this is the general situation.

but ya I was the type of guy catered to her every need. And i was totally ok with that. I wanted to see her happy.

Also Nero though you need to do what's best for you you mentioned that she thought you weren't a good listener, so if that's true, for the benefit of your future (even if it is with a new girl), you may want to work on that. Unless you think maybe she was just using that as an excuse to break up with you, I don't know. If you read my post about being the dumper, you'd see that my man did not take seriously the suggestions I made to him, or maybe he just couldn't understand, I'm not sure.

I also agree that you may want to see about getting that ring back because otherwise it seems like 'IwastheMan' said that she figures she can come back at any time and you also can't be free. Also think of this possibility, lets say months down the road you and your ex haven't reunited, and you meet a new woman with a strong possibility of a future. How do you think that new woman would feel if she knew another woman out there had an engagement ring from you just in case she changed her mind and wanted to come back to you. But ultimately it's up to you. Obviously if she does keep it I would never mention it to a new girlfriend.

Man you must feel pain!. I know I am... it definitely made me wonder when my girl left me for some BS reasons( too busy and didn't have the time and effort to put in a relationship)... huh?. it really makes you think a lot cause you think you knew that person then BAM!! But life is a b***... just stay strong and take it one day a the time. 2 months now... it gets better with time like people have said earlier... move on and forget about her as hard as it is. I know that not what us (dumpee) like to hear, but that's the best thing to do, and sometime the best thing to do is also the hardest thing to do... its hard, but imagine what you will be like after this storm!! You will be stronger, and have more wisdom, a better mate... and hopefully life will smile at you again one day... I actually got close to giving her the ring... but she walked away before I even gave it to her!! just live man you be all right... her loss... and don't worry... karma will get her a taste of her own medicine... trust me karma is out there!! and to all those people who go on toying with people's emotions and heart only time will tell when they are sitting at where we are...

I caused some major pain to some girls in the past and live to have the same scenario happen again. Only this time I was the one on the other end. I learned my lesson. What you go through now is nothing compared to what she will get!! I think karma always pays you double for what you do!. anyway... just live man just live

I know this hasn't been replied to in ages but you and me were in the Same BOAT. 5 year relationship, the Same THING. FIANCE'/GF, the ring, the new guy within 2 - 3 weeks... I did a lot of stupid things after she broke up with me that I felt like I lowered myself because of desperation. Its going to be tough. thoughtiwastheman dude you are VERY WISE

I said the same thing with my ring situation. I took it back because when I gave it to her, I told her that it's a symbol of my love for her and as long as she had it she has my love.

I made sure I took that back... Im glad you did too.

BTW, I'm in the Same situation as NERO, except its 5 years, and 2 weeks after she broke up with me she was dating a new guy and got into a relationship with him after a month, but basically its quite scary the exact smililarities. But anyways, what do I do when I am force under uncontrolled circumstances such as a friend's wedding (we share a same circle of friends) when I meet her. How do I act in front of her. Infact, how do I treat the situation? We broke up awhile ago but I'm still slightly phased... I hardly talk to her and everything during the event. When I talk to my friends sometimes its awkward, like she has some bitterness towards me. Like she retorts on all my comments to my friend.

Towards my friend "dude you're driving too fast man"
She says "he's driving perfectly fine"

And she counters for the most part when I say things and its sort of annoying.

Thanks

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nero33456

Alright so my fiancé/girlfriend of 4 years just broke up with me. And ill say this, she wasn't just my fiancé/girlfriend, she was my BEST FRIEND we did EVERYTHING together!

but ya, its been about 2 months now since we broke up. I totally lost it. She told me that it was because "i dont listnen to her when she talks to me" or some BS. and that "she just isnt as happy as she once was". During the beginning of the breakup, i kinda freaked out and kept calling her and sending her messages and that kinda thing. Which looking back now I realize that was the wrong thing to do.

She DID NOT leave me for another guy, but she is currently seeing someone. But i think thats because i kept bothering her and pushing her away further.

What I find weird about the whole thing is that she hasn't given me ANY closure from the last time that we spoke. Like she'll say something like "...I'm not dedicated RIGHT NOW". Emphasis on right now. And like i said, we were engaged. She still has my ring as well. I told her that i wanted her to hold on to it, as long as its because shes holding on to it for our future. And she didnt give it back.

I know that I need her to miss me for her to want me back.and I haven't spoken a word to her in almost 3 weeks now. SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Oh man, I feel for you. I really do! Same thing happened to me not one month ago... or be it she was not my fiancé... she was my best friend, she gave me no reason why she dumped me... I did the same to her.. I called her 80 times an hour.. no I am not joking.

I realised my mistakes, you need to realise them too.. I'm now on the mends with my (ex)gf... you need to show her without forcing her.. make her chose to come to you... change yourself, you will if you love her enough... and if nothing happens then you do have to face it she does not love you, there's no other way to put it!

Just be happy for yourself.. occupy yourself constantly.. and anyway.. something good ALWAYS comes from something bad...

Hang in there!

Why would he want the ring back? He paid for the dammed thing, he should get it back... And just so you know Nero in most states they legally have to give it back... it is considered a conditional contract and marriage being the condition, as with any contract if you don't satisfy the conditions, you get back as you were before the contract, i.e the proposal