The last thing you want to do is try and guess the motives of others, or read their minds. His actions are loud and clear though as you were a stepping stone to another. Don't dwell on him, just keep doing your thing.

I to hate texting, as it allows the mind to wonder, and assume all kinds of things, with very little information given.

As long as you're texting, you're attempting flat, emotionless, and non-interactive communication process. It's sad to rely on this so much. You say you're "sure he got it" and I say poppycock. Pressing SEND isn't some magical gift you're giving to someone that they must respond to. Yeah, I know, I'm sure he got it, too, but that's not my point.

But TALKING to someone IS a magical gift you're giving to someone they must respond to. And like Tal said, when you TALK to people and they answer, you are 2000% less confused about what's going on.

Pressing SEND isn't talking, it's like summoning someone out of their life into a "chat" and I personally think it's overrated. Look how much damage this one unanswered text has caused you?

Call him.

Hi Sully,

JB and Tal are both right. I think it won't hurt if you call him, and this way you can get a sense of what is going on by the tone in his voice. You can't from a text.

Was he a shy guy? Is it possible that he needed the 'mutual friend' to run interference for the two of you? Like a sort of ice breaker? Who knows...

I'm with everybody else.. call him... be sure... at least you'll have a little peace of mind about it all..

Two things:

First I agree with everyone that texts are unreliable, and that even if they were reliable, they suck.

Maybe the next great invention will be a mail system that carries our hand-written letters across the country by a series of relay-ponies. Or... we could simply use the telephone and talk to someone.

Second, this business about not wanting to date you without your friend... huh? (If you talk to him and confirm this of course) That sounds weird. He's that shy? Do you want to date someone who's so shy he can't date you unescorted? I wouldn't. Someone else mentioned in a different post that book 'Maybe He's Just Not Into You'. In that book I believe not wanting to have you all to himself in the early stages is a bad sign. I agree.

One skill to learn that will serve you well, don't dwell on the shortcomings of others, and don't waste your time on someone, that has no time for you.

Thank you everyone for your insight! It did help a lot, and Tal you right on it every time. You pull no punches, your right to the point.

I don't think texting is his problem. Don't give this man such a lame excuse. He is fully capable of using a phone. His problem is obvious. Lol. He's a loser. Seriously, he would only go out if you had a third person there? What the heck? Yeah... NEXT!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sully123

Some of you are familiar, went out with a gentlemen once, thought he was just so sweet and kind. Thanked him the next day, for a nice evening and dinner. I thought he was different from the rest of the men out there. We did hit it off nicely. He had been interested me in for awhile now but didn't know. Two weeks ago we went out, it was the first time. I texted him a couple of days ago, to see how everything was. He answered right away he was doing a function, which I knew about he had mentioned it to me before. But I know its casual dating as they say today to some people. I thought he would of called by now, and asked me out a second time. Or is two weeks not long at all, or should now I just count that he doesn't care? Just wondering is that the way men operate now, when they feel like calling?

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Yeah many men play game it may not be you men can be self centered and only when they need a friend that's when they will call you also they will tell u what you want to hear what ever word would make you stay around also if he has not called u he may be dealing with others and when he messes that up believe he will call you! Don't let it happen!move on to bigger and better things.when u find the one you will no it. Keep looking

I have been seeing this guy from my younger years at school, need some answers. WE talked a lot on the phone and saw each like once a month, we seemed to hit it off nice. WE use to like each other when we were younger. Well about a week ago, I had asked him after he got done from work, if he wanted to me up and go for a walk at the beach. Well called back a few hours later, and said he would have loved too, but made plans with a buddy friend to go over night on his boat and then head out in the morning to go fishing. Everything was fine. Haven't heard from him in a week, text him once during last week, he answered my text on Friday, and I am never the one to call usually, but did this past Sunday, and his ederly mom lives with him, also like I have the same thing with my mom. SHe said he wasn't home, she would surely give him the message. It's unlike him not to return my call, but this came out of nowhere. I know he had been off the past couple of days, his normal days off, but just didn't understand. Do I assume he doesn't care because he didn't return my phone call. We are both in our fifties and we go back from grammar school, didn't think he would be like that. He really liked me which I thought, am I wrong to assume something is wrong, after not hearing for ten days. Sometimes he calls like three times a week, then sometimes I don't hear from him for ten days. He has been divorced for like 20 years. Am I reading into things or its just a guy thing?

Not to sound harsh or anything but this guy doesn't owe you anything. I think you got used to his calls/texts and right now you expect it.

He might had been interest or he might be dated people. I think you should get out there and date instead of sitting around waiting for him. Life is to short but you tried time after time to make plans with him.

After all he has your number and I pretty should he got your text and missed call. You even left a message with his mother. How much more texting or calling your going do? He might be ignoring your calls because he is not interested or he's busy--only he knows.

Maybe your jumping the gun a bit and it sounds like your trying to pin him down. If you haven't actually had some kind of talk about being in a relationship or being exclusive then its really not your business if and when he calls. Like liz said, maybe you got used to him calling often and assumed it was more then it was. He might be interested but he might just still want to live his life. If he calls great but if not is it such a big deal? If your concerned about this have you talked to him? Maybe you should express how you feel and see if your on the same page. I think he is in a different chapter then you are.

You are expecting way too much, way too fast and he probably sensed that. I saw a phrase used last night on TV, it's called "stage 5 clinger" which means that one event or a few of them triggers someone to become overly clingy to another.

I have never clinged by no means to him, and we weren't in a relationship like that. I never ever pushed or chased him or anything like that. He always called me. I only text a few times, and every time he answered, which he has always done. I just asked if it was odd for a guy all of a sudden who called u and talked about doing things over the summer, and enjoying each others company would just disappear and not call. Last time I saw him a few weeks ago, he asked if he could see me again. It's not the case of breakup, I wasn't in that kind of relationship its way too early. I was just wondering do guys do that all of a sudden and their into themselves, that's it... He has always been the one to inititate, I just said one day about meeting up and he called me back saying he would love too, but he had made plans, and am fine with that. He had called in between up until 10 days ago, just asking not expecting the third degree...

Well maybe some things have come up and its taken up his time. Maybe you can just send a quick text and make sure things are OK. Maybe he just is finding things to get done with the nicer weather.

The list could be endless to reasons he haven't called you. Only he knows why--nobody else.

Thanks sunflower and liz for the insight...

As a man, I can tell you that we can have a short attention span when it comes to relationships that are as established as yours. Yes, we get distracted, involved, self-oriented. Don't hallucinate what is going on in his mind.

If you want to see him, invite him to something specific again, like a walk or a movie. If he says no, and doesn't reciprocate, he's not that interested. Then, it's up to you to decide whether he's worth going after or not.

For someone who knows they are not in a relationship, you sure go a long way on acting like it.

When someone doesn't give you the time and efforts, that match their words, take the hint and move on.

Even if he eventually calls you for a date or chat, his past speaks volumes, and shows he is not worth the time and effort on your part.

Read my signature.

Just a thought here, you said his mom was elderly? What are the chances she forgot to tell him that you called. I know plenty of older people that forget things. If you haven't tried contacting him in 10 days either, just give him a call. It's possible that you're blowing this out of proportion. It doesn't sound to me like you're clingy because you're not calling/texting all the time. It sounds to me like you're just confused. Maybe he is too? Good luck!